The Seventh Voyage of Temperance (The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Book 7) by Ichabod Temperance Page A

feet’”
    “Then I’ll dine”
    “upon you and eat.”
    “Your death is mine,”
    “no way to cheat,”
    “My sticky paws on you,”
    “repeatedly beat!”
    “Oh my goodness, Mr. Trevorgawa-San and Miss Plumtartt Ma’am, I think these boys are seriously about to do grievous bodily harm to one another! TiTaupKamaro is now responding with his own ursine and gravity defying dance with dissonant song accompaniment.”
    “Your demise is now,”
    “There is no parley.”
    “I’ll make sure your death”
    “is extremely gnarly.”
    “A painful death,”
    “for you and your pals,”
    “My bitchin’ powers are”
    “Solid Radi-cal!”
    “RRRRAWR!!!”
    “GRONK!!!”
     

Chapter Seven:
Icky vs. the Thing from Before Time
    Solitude is both burden and blessing.
    None on this Earth are as alone as I.
    Tenfold is my suffering since ’The Transformation’.
    I cannot bear the lack of decorum and brutish vulgarity that my younger brethren are cursed with. T’is better to haunt these lofty, wind-blown, caves and precipices in the companionship of my own lonely thoughts, than to debase my solemn dignity with the presence of those super-monster buffoons.
    These barren cliffs are my only friends. My long and lonely existence has been difficult. None but I have the infinite wherewithal to suffer the flight  through the interminable void of time. This temporal odyssey is mine alone to soar. Though nowadays, the many years seem to have just flown past beneath my leather wings in the blink of an eye.
    Hello, what’s this? A spark of light? Can it be? Yes! That pink glow can only mean that Royalty is once more on the island!
    “Don’t be sad,”
    “it’s time to be happy!”
    “We’re here to see”
    “our Big Daddy Pappy!”
    “We are here with you”
    “on top of the World!”
    “Your favourite way to gogo,”
    “IndiGoGo Girls!”
    “Your Highnesses! I am honoured by your presence! Please do not tire yourselves in constant toe-tapping and madly gesticulating arm movements! Please rest, your Majesties!”
    “Thank you, TuRuDan. Your great size is only surpassed by your exceptional grace, oh honoured, ’Ancient One’.”
    “Oh, tut tut, your Highnesses, I know how much you girls exert yourselves to generat e the magical field around you.”
    “Ah, it is pleasant to relax. Do you mind if we remove our magic white gogo boots while we have our conversation? Our tiny little feet are killing us.”
    “Of course I do not mind, your Majesties. I beg you to please make yourselves comfortable.”
    “Domo arigato, TuRuDan-San. Please TuRuDan, surely you are the wisest creature in all the world, may we call upon you to give us advice? Nowhere is there more wisdom than in your long, gently curving, sharply pointed skull, oh ’Ancient One’.”
    “I am your humble servant, your Highnesses. How may I serve you?”
    “The island’s magic is warning of terrible danger! Our Monstrous Island’s Fairy Dust says that horrible things lie ahead for us! The evil Doctor Lionelstein is poised for one more detonation of his super-monster making explosive device. This will lead to the end of the World! Using the Fairy Dust, we asked the Monstrous Island Great Spirit what we could do to help. We were told to go and seek out a champion. This champion would unite all the monsters of Monstrous Island to put aside their differences and save Planet Earth! We did all the correct magic spells! We did the proper dance steps! We sang the appropriate songs to lead us to the one that could save us, but they instead led us to an ’Ichabod Temperance’!”
    “Ichsabod Temperansa-Kun, eh? You are right, he does not sound very formidable. What does he look like?”
    “A befuddled sea-bass, caught in a search-light.”
    “Hmm, perhaps he is a ferocious warrior, hmm?”
    “As far as we can tell, he is about as fierce as a stand of soggy seaweed.”
    “Perhaps he is of great intelligence, or wisdom?”
    “Our information is that he