The Seventh Voyage of Temperance (The Adventures of Ichabod Temperance Book 7) by Ichabod Temperance Page B

has talent with the crude constructs of ’Man’, though, it is difficult to tell by looking at him. His companion, Miss Persephone Plumtartt, struck us as being of a particularly keen intelligence, so we went ahead and kidnapped her, as well.”
       “Hmm, I see. You say the Fairy Dust picked this Temperansa, Ichsa-bod?”
    “Hai, oh great and wise TuRuDan. Surely your millions of years of existence have given you the wisdom to see us through this coming trial. What shall we do, mighty TuRuDan?”
    “We must trust in the Fairy Dust. Sometimes magic happens in mysterious ways,  . . .  ways that are often unforeseen.”
    “Oh, yes, TuRuDan, you are right! We must believe in the magic! Oh! TuRuDan, what is the matter? You have just flinched, as if suddenly startled.”
    “My super-monster hyper sensitized hearing has alerted me to trouble! Gumibara and TiTaupKamaro have engaged in battle! This is no time for those oafs to go to war! If those two kill each other, the Earth is doomed!”
     

Chapter Eight:
Icky vs. the Laws of Probability
     
    “RRRAWR!!! Your hardshell finish is finished, TiTaupKamaro! RRRRAWR!!!”
    “GRONK!!! No way, dude, like, it’s totally you that is going down, Gumibara! GRONK!!!”
    “They’re really gonna do it, Mr. Trevorgawa-San, sir, and Miss Plumtartt, Ma’am! These two super-monsters are more interested in fighting each other than in beating Doctor Lionelstein!”
    “Hai! You are correct, Ichsa-bod. Just as the fiery, flipper rockets’ thrust holds the immense monster tortoise aloft, my prediction is that this is but a prelude to demonstration of another dimension of this unbelievable creature’s power. Look at how the mighty TiTaupKamaro draws in a great breath of air, presumably to blast back at us in a huge fireball of infernal death. We are about to be roasted alive. Sayonara, my new friends, it looks like this is the end.”
    ~ FSS -SKUUUUUH!!!~
    “I say, not quite, my Asian amigo, for TiTaupKamaro‘s fiery breath did not quite make it to us, eh hem? The behemoth sized bloom of flame that TiTaupKamaro produced hangs suspended in air as the turtle himself, shoots away! The angry, high-octane outburst is actually propelling him away from us! As he is flying backwards, he does not appear to know where his destination or target may lie. Awkward jerks and frantic changes in direction are further evidence that the errant reptile lacks the enjoyment of controlling of his flightpath. The amphibiavian is unable to pilot himself as well as he might prefer, eh hem?”
    “RRRRAWR!!! Come back and fight this bear like a man, you big chicken, turtle! Hah! You missed me! Nice try at ramming into me but you can’t see where you’re flying! Hah! You missed me again! Where’d you get your pilot’s license, a box of Cracker Smacks? Hah! You missed again, Captain Reverse-alot! Try holding your breath to force the flames out the other end, Rear Admiral Rear-View! You should really try something new, Brigadier Backup... Ooof!”
    “Miss Plumtartt! TiTaupKamaro backed into Gumibara at full tilt! All of his turtle thrusters was a thrustering for all they was worth, and now the two are rolling across the landscape in a tumbling tangle of tormented, tussling, tonnage!”
    “Hai! The tremendous keijo are a destructive, bouncing ball, smashing the jungles of Monstrous Island to squashed coconut matting.”
    “RRRRAWR!!! I have you now, TiTaupKamaro, for though you did ram into me with tremendous velocity, I can now stick to you with unsurpassed, super-adhesive stickiness! Ha, ha! RRRRAWR!!!”
    “GRONK!!!   Curse you Gumibara! Get your filthy paws off of me! Your sticky touch makes my shell crawl! GRONK!!! You jerk! You extinguished my rocket jets on purpose! That is like, so unfair, brah!”
    “Admit it, TiTaupKamaro! Say that I am the greatest super-monster of all time! Say it or I will never let you go!”
    “Never! GRONK!!!”
    “I say, Mr. Temperance, the monsters are at a