The Sex Was Great But... by Tyne O’Connell

money running illegal raves. His problem is he takes way too much charlie to be allowed behind the wheel of a car, so he has this midget do his driving for him.
    The midget’s name is Omar, and he isn’t really a midget at all—he just has an incredibly short torso, which means when he’s behind the wheel you can’t see his head. It gives the impression to cars behind that there’s no one behind the wheel. Dave thinks this is really cool, and that’s why he gave the job to Omar.
    Dave’s car has tinted windows, too, and to make conversation I decided to tell Holly about how his car is similar to hers. But, weirdly, when I tried to explain about Dave and Omar and the tinted windows it came out sounding like a boast.
    Holly was driving across three lanes of traffic in one hair-raising diagonal charge at the time, and a lot of the other drivers she was cutting up were banging on their horns. One way or another my story kind of fell in on itself.
    â€œIs Dave a close friend, then?” she inquired later, adjusting the mirror to check her lipstick.
    â€œI went to school with him but, er, no, I wouldn’t call him a mate or anything. He’s a bit of a git, really. It’s only cause he gives away the odd taste of charlie that anyone gives him the time of day, if you know what I mean.”
    She nodded, but I didn’t think she did.
    She asked me if I enjoyed school as a kid. At first I thought she asked me if I went to school as a kid, but I must have misheard. Whatever. I figured it was a loaded question so I didn’t bother replying. She didn’t seem to notice because she was focusing on driving.
    â€œCan you wind your window down and yell ‘turkey’ at that guy behind us for me?” she asked matter-of-factly.
    I said, “Yeah, sure.” The turkey in question didn’t seem to take it well, though, and next minute he was driving alongside us and shaking his fist. He was yelling something back at me but I couldn’t catch it.
    Holly must have pressed a button somewhere, because the window started winding up, concealing me from the turkey’s view. “Just ignore him,” she advised, then she shot me another smile.
    Yesterday I wouldn’t have dreamed of being in the company of someone like Holly. She was off my scale, out of my range. Not the sort of girl I’d ever even attempt to pull. Not even with a few drinks under my belt. Now here I was, rescuing her bag, getting beat up in the process, and insulting other motorists on her behalf. I couldn’t help feeling a bit proud.
    â€œI suppose you don’t want the air-conditioning on, do you?” she asked.
    â€œGo for it,” I told her.
    â€œReally? You’re not cold?” She sounded like she didn’t believe me.
    Was she nuts? I wondered. Why would I be cold in this heat? “No way. It’s sweltering. Aren’t you hot?”
    â€œOkay,” she said enigmatically, but she didn’t turn on theair-conditioning. After a while, I asked if I could wind down a window.
    â€œSure.” She seemed surprised. “I just thought you might be cold…you know with the coat and the hat, I just figured…”
    This was going to be tough. How was I meant to explain Kev and his theories on procuring money from strangers to a girl like Holly? “I know Kev can be a bit off the scale, but he has this theory, see. By wearing a coat and hat when it’s hot you make people think twice. Like you when you saw me, didn’t you think to yourself, Why is he wearing all those clothes when it’s so hot?”
    â€œJust a sec. I’m trying to find my indicator. Shoot! I always get confused with the wipers.”
    The wipers started sweeping across the window. She giggled, fixing me with another one of her smiles. “I’m not great at driving am I?” she asked, crinkling her nose.
    That was when I decided that I really liked her. Not like