out with guys
because they found them sexy or had a laugh with them? Was it always connected
to how much money someone had? When they were looking for a husband, was being
rich preferable to being nice or sexy?
I begin to wonder who I’ll end up like; these two or
Rebecca. It’s not much of a choice, I decide. I wonder if any of them have ever
worked. I wonder if they both looked like they do now when they were twenty.
It’s getting too depressing to ponder, so I get out and have a shower.
After a Rebecca-free lunch, I spend the rest of the
afternoon sitting around and doing not much at all. If you were at home, you’d
find plenty of things to do, even if you were on your own, but here there’s
absolutely nothing to do but sit around reading, have a swim, have a treatment,
have a sauna, have a meal, have another swim, drink some mud-coffee and have
another steam bath.
It occurs to me that three days in a place like this is just
about right. What does Rebecca find to think about while she’s here? Maybe she
doesn’t think about anything!
While I’m sitting in one of the rest rooms, looking out of
the window at a couple of peacocks strutting around, I decide to go back to my
room, read the other paperback I luckily brought with me, have a little sleep
and then wake up in time for dinner.
I’m already starving, I realise, and I can see now why some
of the guests here smuggle in chocolate and biscuits. In fact, during my yoga
session this morning, I started thinking about heading for the nearest
McDonalds drive-thru, ordering two Big Macs, a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, two
large fries, a Big Breakfast, two sugar donuts, a chocolate milkshake (and a strawberry
one for good measure), a Happy Meal so I had a toy to play with and a fruit bag
so I didn’t feel quite so guilty afterwards.
The smell of McDonalds is pretty distinctive, so obviously
I’d have to eat the whole lot on the drive back. It’s amazing what a healthy
couple of days can do to your head!
As I’m on my way back to my room, I bump into - you guessed
it – Rebecca. She apologises for not meeting me for lunch, but they had a
last-minute cancellation for an Indian Head Massage and she just had to take
it.
She’s been here so many times that I assume the staff
actually give her a ring in her room if something like that comes up, knowing
she’ll probably take it. She may as well just give them all her credit cards
and say ‘Just take as much as you want!’
Reluctantly, I let her drag me back to the spa so we can
have a chat and a cup of myrtle and hibiscus herbal tea. I don’t know why I
allow things like this to happen. I must be truly weak!
After I’ve had a run-down of all the things she’s done today
and all the things she’s having done tomorrow (seaweed wrap, another Silky
Locks, gel overlay on fingernails and some other stuff I’ve forgotten), she
gets on to the subject of my massage with James, which, I suspect, is what she
really wants to talk about.
‘What are his hands like? I just want to know what it’s like
when they’re on your body!’
This is so weird, that I don’t know what to say for a few
seconds.
‘Well, he’s using these bamboo sticks. He doesn’t use his
hands much. It’s like being massaged with a warm, oil-covered rolling pin most
of the time.’
‘That sounds really kinky! I must admit that I haven’t tried
one of those yet. I’ve spoken to some of the other girls (!) here and they said
that everyone’s interested in him. Maggie – do you know Maggie? – Maggie said
that he seemed a bit distant when he did her. I don’t mean ‘did her’, if you
get my drift, just that he didn’t talk much. She said it hurt quite a bit, but
there’s nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with a bit of pain from a
masterful alpha male!’
She nudges me in the side with her elbow as if to
demonstrate what pain is. It works.
‘I have to tell you though – this place isn’t really where
you should come if
because they found them sexy or had a laugh with them? Was it always connected
to how much money someone had? When they were looking for a husband, was being
rich preferable to being nice or sexy?
I begin to wonder who I’ll end up like; these two or
Rebecca. It’s not much of a choice, I decide. I wonder if any of them have ever
worked. I wonder if they both looked like they do now when they were twenty.
It’s getting too depressing to ponder, so I get out and have a shower.
After a Rebecca-free lunch, I spend the rest of the
afternoon sitting around and doing not much at all. If you were at home, you’d
find plenty of things to do, even if you were on your own, but here there’s
absolutely nothing to do but sit around reading, have a swim, have a treatment,
have a sauna, have a meal, have another swim, drink some mud-coffee and have
another steam bath.
It occurs to me that three days in a place like this is just
about right. What does Rebecca find to think about while she’s here? Maybe she
doesn’t think about anything!
While I’m sitting in one of the rest rooms, looking out of
the window at a couple of peacocks strutting around, I decide to go back to my
room, read the other paperback I luckily brought with me, have a little sleep
and then wake up in time for dinner.
I’m already starving, I realise, and I can see now why some
of the guests here smuggle in chocolate and biscuits. In fact, during my yoga
session this morning, I started thinking about heading for the nearest
McDonalds drive-thru, ordering two Big Macs, a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, two
large fries, a Big Breakfast, two sugar donuts, a chocolate milkshake (and a strawberry
one for good measure), a Happy Meal so I had a toy to play with and a fruit bag
so I didn’t feel quite so guilty afterwards.
The smell of McDonalds is pretty distinctive, so obviously
I’d have to eat the whole lot on the drive back. It’s amazing what a healthy
couple of days can do to your head!
As I’m on my way back to my room, I bump into - you guessed
it – Rebecca. She apologises for not meeting me for lunch, but they had a
last-minute cancellation for an Indian Head Massage and she just had to take
it.
She’s been here so many times that I assume the staff
actually give her a ring in her room if something like that comes up, knowing
she’ll probably take it. She may as well just give them all her credit cards
and say ‘Just take as much as you want!’
Reluctantly, I let her drag me back to the spa so we can
have a chat and a cup of myrtle and hibiscus herbal tea. I don’t know why I
allow things like this to happen. I must be truly weak!
After I’ve had a run-down of all the things she’s done today
and all the things she’s having done tomorrow (seaweed wrap, another Silky
Locks, gel overlay on fingernails and some other stuff I’ve forgotten), she
gets on to the subject of my massage with James, which, I suspect, is what she
really wants to talk about.
‘What are his hands like? I just want to know what it’s like
when they’re on your body!’
This is so weird, that I don’t know what to say for a few
seconds.
‘Well, he’s using these bamboo sticks. He doesn’t use his
hands much. It’s like being massaged with a warm, oil-covered rolling pin most
of the time.’
‘That sounds really kinky! I must admit that I haven’t tried
one of those yet. I’ve spoken to some of the other girls (!) here and they said
that everyone’s interested in him. Maggie – do you know Maggie? – Maggie said
that he seemed a bit distant when he did her. I don’t mean ‘did her’, if you
get my drift, just that he didn’t talk much. She said it hurt quite a bit, but
there’s nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with a bit of pain from a
masterful alpha male!’
She nudges me in the side with her elbow as if to
demonstrate what pain is. It works.
‘I have to tell you though – this place isn’t really where
you should come if
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