held the door open while everyone else was still lined up waiting for their taxis. He didn’t speak, or make small talk with me. It almost felt like being kidnapped. I sat in the back seat in silence, with no idea where we were going. He drove me to a party, so I could meet the director and the film’s stars. It was at the director’s apartment.
The director’s name is Robert and he seems really great. He told me about his favourite parts of
Undead Hungry Grandmother Birthday Party
, and I tried not to gush too stupidly about
Blood Socket
. All over his apartment he had posters for old horror movies.
The Haunting. Sleepaway Camp
! He even had a poster for
Black Christmas
, Martin. That alone bought him enough respect to keep me from making fun of the
Halloween
poster.
It was a lot like Halifax apartments, too. The only difference was the cockroaches. I’ve never really seen a cockroach in real life, but here they seemed to just be a fact of life, like fruit flies. They climbed in and over everything on the kitchen counter, scattering in terror whenever someone turned on the faucet. The biggest one was about the size of your fist, but Robert told me that they were mostly very friendly. They actually help keep the kitchen clean, and they control the population of house centipedes, which I’ve never heard of. I don’t think I ever want to meet one, though, if they make the man who directed
Blood Socket
nervous.
The main character of the movie is a kid about your age. Jim something or other is the actor’s name. I shook his hand and said hello to his mother, but both of them looked bored there at the party.
“This must be so great for you. My son Martin would kill to be in a horror movie.” I said, but the kid just shrugged his shoulders at me.
“It’s not even really acting,” he said. “It’s just a horror movie. I can do better. I’m going to do better. My mom has another audition lined up for me next week. Actual acting.”
He sounded defensive. Where did he think he was that he needed to be defensive about being in
Blood Socket 2
! The other guests were all laughing and enjoying the party. Even the other child actors seemed to be having fun, chasing the biggest cockroach back and forth under the kitchen table, trapping it under a glass.
“Horror movies are great,” I told him. “Everybody loves horror movies.”
“Nobody has a real career in horror movies,” the kid said.
His mother nodded like he wasn’t saying something stupid.
“I don’t want to end up like that girl from
The Exorcist
—going crazy and having to do a bunch of porno movies before killing myself. I want to be famous.”
What kind of messed-up priorities did this kids’ parents give him, where he felt bad about being in a horror movie? I should have just kept quiet. This is my first day in Toronto, and I haven’t even started on the movie yet! But he was just wrong.
“First of all,” I told him. “Linda Blair was amazing in that film. She was nominated for an Oscar. And she didn’t go crazy afterward, or kill herself. She had a hard time with drugs, but she got through it. She’s alive and well. I met her at a horror convention last summer and she’s really down to earth. She runs a charity for animals, for Christ’s sake.”
“Uh huh,” the kid said. He had his phone out now, and was texting someone.
Martin, I wanted to slap it out of his smug little hands. What was he doing in a horror movie if he didn’t even like them? It was crazy.
“And secondly,” I said. “Linda Blair did not make porno movies. She got naked in some of her later films, sure, but you know who else has appeared naked in her movies? Hellen Fucking Mirren.”
They left the party shortly after that, but I guess I’ll see them bright and early tomorrow morning for our first shoot. I’m supposed to make a kitten’s eyeball pop out and splatter blood all over the little fucker, but to be honest, I’d rather make his eyeball pop out
The director’s name is Robert and he seems really great. He told me about his favourite parts of
Undead Hungry Grandmother Birthday Party
, and I tried not to gush too stupidly about
Blood Socket
. All over his apartment he had posters for old horror movies.
The Haunting. Sleepaway Camp
! He even had a poster for
Black Christmas
, Martin. That alone bought him enough respect to keep me from making fun of the
Halloween
poster.
It was a lot like Halifax apartments, too. The only difference was the cockroaches. I’ve never really seen a cockroach in real life, but here they seemed to just be a fact of life, like fruit flies. They climbed in and over everything on the kitchen counter, scattering in terror whenever someone turned on the faucet. The biggest one was about the size of your fist, but Robert told me that they were mostly very friendly. They actually help keep the kitchen clean, and they control the population of house centipedes, which I’ve never heard of. I don’t think I ever want to meet one, though, if they make the man who directed
Blood Socket
nervous.
The main character of the movie is a kid about your age. Jim something or other is the actor’s name. I shook his hand and said hello to his mother, but both of them looked bored there at the party.
“This must be so great for you. My son Martin would kill to be in a horror movie.” I said, but the kid just shrugged his shoulders at me.
“It’s not even really acting,” he said. “It’s just a horror movie. I can do better. I’m going to do better. My mom has another audition lined up for me next week. Actual acting.”
He sounded defensive. Where did he think he was that he needed to be defensive about being in
Blood Socket 2
! The other guests were all laughing and enjoying the party. Even the other child actors seemed to be having fun, chasing the biggest cockroach back and forth under the kitchen table, trapping it under a glass.
“Horror movies are great,” I told him. “Everybody loves horror movies.”
“Nobody has a real career in horror movies,” the kid said.
His mother nodded like he wasn’t saying something stupid.
“I don’t want to end up like that girl from
The Exorcist
—going crazy and having to do a bunch of porno movies before killing myself. I want to be famous.”
What kind of messed-up priorities did this kids’ parents give him, where he felt bad about being in a horror movie? I should have just kept quiet. This is my first day in Toronto, and I haven’t even started on the movie yet! But he was just wrong.
“First of all,” I told him. “Linda Blair was amazing in that film. She was nominated for an Oscar. And she didn’t go crazy afterward, or kill herself. She had a hard time with drugs, but she got through it. She’s alive and well. I met her at a horror convention last summer and she’s really down to earth. She runs a charity for animals, for Christ’s sake.”
“Uh huh,” the kid said. He had his phone out now, and was texting someone.
Martin, I wanted to slap it out of his smug little hands. What was he doing in a horror movie if he didn’t even like them? It was crazy.
“And secondly,” I said. “Linda Blair did not make porno movies. She got naked in some of her later films, sure, but you know who else has appeared naked in her movies? Hellen Fucking Mirren.”
They left the party shortly after that, but I guess I’ll see them bright and early tomorrow morning for our first shoot. I’m supposed to make a kitten’s eyeball pop out and splatter blood all over the little fucker, but to be honest, I’d rather make his eyeball pop out
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