The Tao of Stress: How to Calm, Balance, and Simplify Your Life

The Tao of Stress: How to Calm, Balance, and Simplify Your Life by Robert G. Santee Page A

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Authors: Robert G. Santee
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Change
    One of the earliest Taoist texts to address thoughts, beliefs, and judgments about change and the uncertainty associated with it and examine them at the most basic level was the Zhuangzi , written over 2,200 years ago. Unlike many other texts of the time, the Zhuangzi presented a 43
    uncorrected proof
    The Tao of Stress
    number of its teachings through stories and tales. One such story from chapter 18 (Guo 1974) offers a teaching about absolute expectations, the continual process of change, and how to address it within the context of the most stressful of all experiences: death.
    The wife of Zhuangzi had died. His good friend Huizi had come to
    show his respect and express his condolences. Upon his arrival, he saw Zhuangzi sitting on the floor with his legs spread apart, beating on a basin and singing. For Huizi, this behavior was totally inappropriate and violated all expectations regarding rituals and correct conduct for mourning. Clearly upset, he confronted Zhuangzi and said, “You have lived together, raised children, and grown old. That you do not weep is one thing. But beating a basin and singing, isn’t that going too far?”
    Zhuangzi replied, “Not so! When she first died, I did mourn and
    express my feelings. Upon examining her beginnings, she originally was without life. Not moving, without life, originally without form. Not moving, without form, originally without vital energy or qi.
    Undifferentiated! Suddenly, within the obscurity a change occurs and there is qi. Qi changes and there is form. Form changes and there is life.
    Now, another change and there is death. This is the movement of the four seasons. If I followed those who shouted and wept, I would consider myself as not being open to my destiny. Thus, I stopped!”
    Prior to visiting Zhuangzi, Huizi had already made up his mind about how he should feel and behave when somebody died. He wasn’t allowing himself to feel and behave as a direct result of a here- and- now experience. He also believed that Zhuangzi must behave according to his, Huizi’s, absolute expectations regarding rituals and correct conduct for mourning. When Zhuangzi didn’t behave as expected, Huizi’s absolute perspective was threatened. In order to eliminate the resulting unpleasant feelings and reestablish his own absolute perspective, Huizi confronted Zhuangzi with his absolute negative judgments regarding the Zhuangzi’s behavior.
    Zhuangzi, on the other hand, who had lost his wife, was in the here and now. Initially, Zhuangzi expressed his feelings about his loss. His feeling of sadness was a direct result of his wife dying. He felt sad because that was how he actually felt, not because it was how he was supposed to feel.
    Zhuangzi’s subsequent thinking was consistent with how existence
    behaved. Zhuangzi had simplified his thoughts, beliefs, and judgments 44
    uncorrected proof
    Simplifying Your Thoughts
    regarding change and death by becoming aware of them, examining
    them, and then letting go of his rigid and complex worldview. The story points out that by changing and simplifying our thinking, we can change how we feel and behave. This entire process is the application of guan.
    Practice Experiencing Change
    While we can initial y talk about accepting change from a cogni-
    tive perspective, for Taoists change must eventual y be experienced directly. In chapter 16 of the Daodejing (Wang 1993), the author directly observes, through the practice of guan, that all things continual y interact and move in cycles. In order to experience this, we need to practice guan. Simply find a place to sit— in a mal , at a park, at the beach, or wherever you like. Then sit and just observe for about ten minutes in a detached, nonjudgmental manner (with guan) all the changes that occur around you. Just experience your environment
    without thinking about it.
    Upon finishing this practice, note what you observed. Were you
    able to experience continual change no matter where you

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