The Two-Night One-Night Stand by Ryan Ringbloom

but it’s on Main Street. Please hurry!”
    “Help is on the way.”
    “Hurry.”
    “Ma’am, please stay on the line. Is he breathing?”
    “He’s talking, so yes, he is.”
    “Do you know if he carries an EpiPen with him?”
    “Um, I don’t know. Let me ask.” I keep the phone up to my ear. Nick’s attack has attracted an audience, and two men are helping him to lie down on the floor. “Nick, do you have an EpiPen with you?” He shakes his head. “No, he doesn’t,” I tell the operator. “Shit. What do we do? Is he gonna be okay?”
    “Stay calm. The ambulance will be there soon.”
    “Please hurry!” I shout into the phone again, as if that will actually work in getting help to arrive any faster.
    “I’b gobba die,” Nick garbles out, drool running down the side of his mouth.
    “Noooooo, you’re not.” I do my best to sound convincing through a plastic smile. Fucking-A. This guy cannot die on this date. It’s bad enough I have to tell Jayne I don’t like her brother, but to tell her he died? Nope, that can’t happen. “You’re gonna be just fine,” I say. And he better be.
    “Nuss,” he whimpers. “Fuckin’ nuss.”
    “Nuts? Are you allergic to peanuts?” I ask. Why the hell would he eat those damn nuts if he was allergic?
    “No.” He shakes his head. “No peenuss…I… haz… hazernuss.”
    “What? I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”
    “I think he’s trying to say, ‘I have no penis, I have no nuts.’” One of the many onlookers, who is obviously drunk, volunteers.
    “Seriously?” I toss a look of disgust over my shoulder.
    “I think he’s saying hazelnuts,” the waitress offers. “It’s a roasted nut mix that we serve here and I think there are hazelnuts in the mix.”
    Wonderful.
    Nick starts moaning, I crouch down next to him on the ground. Red blotches appear all over his pale skin. I’m clueless as to what to do next. I wave my hand back and forth to fan him. What am I doing? He’s having an allergic reaction, not farting. I am the worst when it comes to a crisis. Blah, blah, I hope he’s okay and all, but I would do anything to get the hell out of here and away from this.
    Even though it feels like an eternity, it only takes a few minutes for the sirens to be heard blaring from the street.
    “Move out of the way people.” An EMT clears the way and she and another woman kneel down next to Nick. I turn my head away as a needle is jabbed into his thigh. “This may take a few minutes, but don’t worry, you’re going to be okay.”
    Phew. Thank God. I exhale. My body relaxes.
    “Let’s get him on the stretcher.”
    “The stretcher?” I ask. My muscles tighten once again and I begin wringing my hands. “But… but, you said he’s okay.”
    “He should be fine in no time, ma’am, but he still needs to be cleared by the doctor. We’re taking him to St. Peter’s Hospital. You can ride along with us.”
    “Ride along?” My gulp is audible. “No, that’s okay, he doesn’t need me to come along.” Quick. I need to do something. I need to get out of here ASAP. I lean down and smile at Nick, whose normal color is already starting to return. “It was fun. I’ll call you,” I say slowly through an extremely forced smile.
    He grabs my arm. “No… prease come.”
    Shit, no, no, no. This can’t be happening.If this is a nightmare, I need to wake the fuck up. Now!
    The two EMTs wait for my response, lifting the stretcher and locking it into place.
    I respond with, “Oh, um… but, I… he… we… no, um.” So, basically, I manage to look like I’m both heartless and brain-dead at the same time.
    “Prrrease, Horry,” Nicks begs in a weak, childlike voice through his fat swollen lips.
    “Um, okay,” I finally say, the air slowly deflating from my lungs. Because what other fucking choice do I really have? None. This horrible date has taken an even more horrible turn and I am a horrible person for wishing I could just run away and not look