seems to be some sort of
express. Suburbs turn into fields, and the train is still rattling along. Ive drunk three
small bottles of gin, mixed with orange juice, tomato juice, and a chocolate yogurt drink. The chunk of icy
fright in my stomach has thawed and I feel weirdly distanced from everything around me.
I have made the biggest mistake of my career. I will have lost my job. I will never be a
partner.
One stupid mistake.
The London Zoo family have opened packets of crisps and offered me one and invited me to
join in their game of Travel Scrabble. The mother even asked me if I was traveling for
business or fun?
I couldnt bring myself to answer.
My heart rate has gradually subsided, but I have a bad, throbbing headache. Im sitting
with a hand over one eye, trying to block out the light.
Ladies and gentlemen. The conductor is crackling over the loudspeaker. Unfortunately...
rail works... alternative transport...
I cant follow what hes saying. I dont even know where Im headed. Ill just wait for the
next stop, get out of the train, and take it from there.
Thats not how you spell raisin , London Zoo mother is saying to one of the children, when the train suddenly starts to
slow down. I look up to see that were pulling into a station.Lower Ebury . People are
gathering up their bags and getting off.
Like an automaton I get up too. I follow the London Zoo family off the train and out of a
tiny, twee country station. Theres a pub called The Bell across the road, which bends
round in both directions, and I can glimpse fields in the distance. Theres a coach
waiting, and all the passengers from the train are boarding.
London Zoo mother has turned round and is gesturing at me. You need to come this way, she
says helpfully. If you want the bus toGloucester ?
The thought of getting on a coach makes me want to heave. I dont want the bus to anywhere.
I just want an aspirin. My head feels like its about to split open.
Er... no, thanks. Im fine here. Before she can say anything else, I start walking down the
road.
I have no idea where I am. None.
Inside my pocket, my phone suddenly vibrates. Its Guy. Again. This must be the thirtieth
time hes rung. And every time hes left a message telling me to call him back, asking if
Ive got his e-mails.
I havent got any of his e-mails. I was so freaked out, I left my Blackberry on my desk. My
phone is all I have. It vibrates again and I stare at it for a few moments. I cant ignore
him forever. My stomach clenched with nerves, I lift it to my ear and press TALK.
Hi. My voice is scratchy. Its... its me. Samantha? His incredulous voice blasts down the
line. Is that you ? Where are you? I dont know. I had to get away. I... I went into shock... Samantha, I dont know if
you got my messages. But... He hesitates. Everyone
knows.
I know. I lean against an old crumbling wall and squeeze my eyes shut.
How did it happen ? He sounds as shocked as I feel. How the hell did you make a simple error like that? I
mean, Christ, Samantha
I dont know, I say numbly.
You never make mistakes!
Well, I do now! I feel tears rising and fiercely blink them down. Whats... whats happened?
Its not good. He exhales. Kettermans been having damage limitation talks with Glazerbrooks
lawyers and talking to the bankand the insurers, of course.
The insurers. The firms professional indemnity insurance. Im suddenly gripped by an almost
exhilarating hope. If the insurers pay up without making a fuss, maybe things wont be as
bad as I thought...
But even as I feel my spirits lift I know Im like some traveler seeing the mirage through
the haze. Insurers never cough up the whole amount. Sometimes they dont cough up anything.
Sometimes they pay up but raise their premiums to unfeasible levels.
What did the insurers say? Will they
They havent said anything yet.
Right. I wipe my sweaty face, screwing up my courage to ask the next question.
express. Suburbs turn into fields, and the train is still rattling along. Ive drunk three
small bottles of gin, mixed with orange juice, tomato juice, and a chocolate yogurt drink. The chunk of icy
fright in my stomach has thawed and I feel weirdly distanced from everything around me.
I have made the biggest mistake of my career. I will have lost my job. I will never be a
partner.
One stupid mistake.
The London Zoo family have opened packets of crisps and offered me one and invited me to
join in their game of Travel Scrabble. The mother even asked me if I was traveling for
business or fun?
I couldnt bring myself to answer.
My heart rate has gradually subsided, but I have a bad, throbbing headache. Im sitting
with a hand over one eye, trying to block out the light.
Ladies and gentlemen. The conductor is crackling over the loudspeaker. Unfortunately...
rail works... alternative transport...
I cant follow what hes saying. I dont even know where Im headed. Ill just wait for the
next stop, get out of the train, and take it from there.
Thats not how you spell raisin , London Zoo mother is saying to one of the children, when the train suddenly starts to
slow down. I look up to see that were pulling into a station.Lower Ebury . People are
gathering up their bags and getting off.
Like an automaton I get up too. I follow the London Zoo family off the train and out of a
tiny, twee country station. Theres a pub called The Bell across the road, which bends
round in both directions, and I can glimpse fields in the distance. Theres a coach
waiting, and all the passengers from the train are boarding.
London Zoo mother has turned round and is gesturing at me. You need to come this way, she
says helpfully. If you want the bus toGloucester ?
The thought of getting on a coach makes me want to heave. I dont want the bus to anywhere.
I just want an aspirin. My head feels like its about to split open.
Er... no, thanks. Im fine here. Before she can say anything else, I start walking down the
road.
I have no idea where I am. None.
Inside my pocket, my phone suddenly vibrates. Its Guy. Again. This must be the thirtieth
time hes rung. And every time hes left a message telling me to call him back, asking if
Ive got his e-mails.
I havent got any of his e-mails. I was so freaked out, I left my Blackberry on my desk. My
phone is all I have. It vibrates again and I stare at it for a few moments. I cant ignore
him forever. My stomach clenched with nerves, I lift it to my ear and press TALK.
Hi. My voice is scratchy. Its... its me. Samantha? His incredulous voice blasts down the
line. Is that you ? Where are you? I dont know. I had to get away. I... I went into shock... Samantha, I dont know if
you got my messages. But... He hesitates. Everyone
knows.
I know. I lean against an old crumbling wall and squeeze my eyes shut.
How did it happen ? He sounds as shocked as I feel. How the hell did you make a simple error like that? I
mean, Christ, Samantha
I dont know, I say numbly.
You never make mistakes!
Well, I do now! I feel tears rising and fiercely blink them down. Whats... whats happened?
Its not good. He exhales. Kettermans been having damage limitation talks with Glazerbrooks
lawyers and talking to the bankand the insurers, of course.
The insurers. The firms professional indemnity insurance. Im suddenly gripped by an almost
exhilarating hope. If the insurers pay up without making a fuss, maybe things wont be as
bad as I thought...
But even as I feel my spirits lift I know Im like some traveler seeing the mirage through
the haze. Insurers never cough up the whole amount. Sometimes they dont cough up anything.
Sometimes they pay up but raise their premiums to unfeasible levels.
What did the insurers say? Will they
They havent said anything yet.
Right. I wipe my sweaty face, screwing up my courage to ask the next question.
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