bastard who double-crossed William at every turn expects Ulrich, his own sire, to deal with him in good faith.”
“That’ll serve him right. Just see that you don’t double-cross me in this body-swapping agreement.”
“Oh, I won’t, Jack,” she purred. “Being a bird is the perfect disguise to protect me from the Slayer. At least until Diana and Ulrich kill her.” She turned to level a maniacal smile at me.
I vowed to myself again to keep Connie and my baby alive. And to make Eleanor pay if she tried to steal someone else’s body.
I would see that Eleanor went into that bird body if it was the last thing I did. It had been a long time since I’d had to eat crow, but I was going to enjoy my next meal of it or my name wasn’t Jack McShane.
Four
When I frog-marched Eleanor to where Huey hung out behind the garage, Ginger the crow started squawking to beat the band. She was excited at the prospect of getting her body back, but at the same time I could tell she wanted to punish Eleanor. Short of pecking her own eyes out or pooping on her own head, though, she was clean out of options. For now, anyway.
“You traitorous bitch!” Ginger screeched. “What did I ever do to you but help make you piles of money by doing stuff I’m not proud of?”
“Hello? I’m a demon now,” Eleanor said with a shrug. That pretty much covered it, I figured. If Ginger expected a demon to show remorse, she was roosting in the wrong tree.
I sent Otis and Rufus into the garage so they wouldn’t be in any danger if Eleanor tried to pull off some trick. I started to tell Huey to back off, just in case Eleanor decided to jump into his body instead of the crow’s, but then I remembered that Huey’s body was ineligible because it was dead—and would be unsatisfactory to Eleanor because it was Huey’s.
Hygiene had never been one of Huey’s main priorities and he wasn’t what you’d call a handsome fellow even when he was alive and kicking. In death, he’d taken on a grayish skin tone, and the wobbly eye he’d acquired made him even harder to look at. No question: he had a face only a mother could love, and Eleanor wasn’t the maternal type.
“Do you need anything to get this party started?” I asked Eleanor.
“No, but before I do, I don’t suppose I could talk you into letting me go,” she speculated. “I could give you a night you’d never forget.”
“Pass,” I said. “Do your body-swapping thing.”
Eleanor sighed and squinched up her face like she’d had some bad Mexican food. “I call on the power of Satan to seat my spirit in the closest living thing,” she recited. Then she started to sway on her feet and the crow, perched on the tree branch right above her, beat its wings and squawked some more.
In unison, Ginger’s body crumpled to the ground and the crow pitched forward and landed at our feet. I cradled the human body in my arms and shook it gently. “Ginger? Are you in there?” The redhead’s eyes flew open and blinked once, twice.
“Oooh! Thank you, Jack! Thank you so much!”
I could tell it was really her. I looked up at Huey and nodded. Huey picked up his shovel and jabbed at the crow on the ground. Zombies aren’t blessed with much of anything besides a taste for flesh. Speed and agility are at the top of the list of their shortcomings—along with low-wattage brain power overall. The crow hopped away just in time to avoid the sharp steel of the spade.
“Stop that, you dead little freak,” the Eleanor crow shrieked, darting away from Huey’s next stab. She took wing and dive-bombed, pecking at the top of the zombie’s head and flying away with some strands of his hair.
“Ouch,” Huey said, rubbing his noggin.
“What’s wrong with this crow?” Eleanor screeched. “It itches!”
“Those are mites, and I hope they eat you alive!” Ginger called out.
Eleanor circled us a few times, cursing us all and our lineages back to the time of creation. The last thing she said
“That’ll serve him right. Just see that you don’t double-cross me in this body-swapping agreement.”
“Oh, I won’t, Jack,” she purred. “Being a bird is the perfect disguise to protect me from the Slayer. At least until Diana and Ulrich kill her.” She turned to level a maniacal smile at me.
I vowed to myself again to keep Connie and my baby alive. And to make Eleanor pay if she tried to steal someone else’s body.
I would see that Eleanor went into that bird body if it was the last thing I did. It had been a long time since I’d had to eat crow, but I was going to enjoy my next meal of it or my name wasn’t Jack McShane.
Four
When I frog-marched Eleanor to where Huey hung out behind the garage, Ginger the crow started squawking to beat the band. She was excited at the prospect of getting her body back, but at the same time I could tell she wanted to punish Eleanor. Short of pecking her own eyes out or pooping on her own head, though, she was clean out of options. For now, anyway.
“You traitorous bitch!” Ginger screeched. “What did I ever do to you but help make you piles of money by doing stuff I’m not proud of?”
“Hello? I’m a demon now,” Eleanor said with a shrug. That pretty much covered it, I figured. If Ginger expected a demon to show remorse, she was roosting in the wrong tree.
I sent Otis and Rufus into the garage so they wouldn’t be in any danger if Eleanor tried to pull off some trick. I started to tell Huey to back off, just in case Eleanor decided to jump into his body instead of the crow’s, but then I remembered that Huey’s body was ineligible because it was dead—and would be unsatisfactory to Eleanor because it was Huey’s.
Hygiene had never been one of Huey’s main priorities and he wasn’t what you’d call a handsome fellow even when he was alive and kicking. In death, he’d taken on a grayish skin tone, and the wobbly eye he’d acquired made him even harder to look at. No question: he had a face only a mother could love, and Eleanor wasn’t the maternal type.
“Do you need anything to get this party started?” I asked Eleanor.
“No, but before I do, I don’t suppose I could talk you into letting me go,” she speculated. “I could give you a night you’d never forget.”
“Pass,” I said. “Do your body-swapping thing.”
Eleanor sighed and squinched up her face like she’d had some bad Mexican food. “I call on the power of Satan to seat my spirit in the closest living thing,” she recited. Then she started to sway on her feet and the crow, perched on the tree branch right above her, beat its wings and squawked some more.
In unison, Ginger’s body crumpled to the ground and the crow pitched forward and landed at our feet. I cradled the human body in my arms and shook it gently. “Ginger? Are you in there?” The redhead’s eyes flew open and blinked once, twice.
“Oooh! Thank you, Jack! Thank you so much!”
I could tell it was really her. I looked up at Huey and nodded. Huey picked up his shovel and jabbed at the crow on the ground. Zombies aren’t blessed with much of anything besides a taste for flesh. Speed and agility are at the top of the list of their shortcomings—along with low-wattage brain power overall. The crow hopped away just in time to avoid the sharp steel of the spade.
“Stop that, you dead little freak,” the Eleanor crow shrieked, darting away from Huey’s next stab. She took wing and dive-bombed, pecking at the top of the zombie’s head and flying away with some strands of his hair.
“Ouch,” Huey said, rubbing his noggin.
“What’s wrong with this crow?” Eleanor screeched. “It itches!”
“Those are mites, and I hope they eat you alive!” Ginger called out.
Eleanor circled us a few times, cursing us all and our lineages back to the time of creation. The last thing she said
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