yours because you’ve been bereaved. Don’t worry about it at all. You say it comes and goes, so just eat when it’s there. Eat what youfancy … Your appetite will get back to normal when it’s ready.’
‘I see.’
‘Are you worried about being in the house on your own at night?’
‘Oh no, Dr Deerbon. He’s there with me, you see … Harry’s always there.’
Like many of Cat’solder patients, Iris Chater was not ill, she needed reassurance and a listening ear. Nevertheless, Cat sensed that she was holding something back, in spite of her gentle probing. She waited a moment, but nothing came.
‘Well, pop in and see me again in a month. I want to know how you’re getting on and in the meantime, if there’s anything at all …’
Iris Chater made a business of getting up, gatheringherself, going towards the door, then, at the very last moment, she turned.
‘There is something, isn’t there?’ Cat said gently.
The tears filled the woman’s eyes again.
‘If I could just know, Doctor. If I could just be sure that he’s all right. Is there any way I can be sure?’
‘Aren’t you sure? In your own heart? Come on … Harry was a good man.’
‘He was, wasn’t he? He really was.’
Stillshe did not go.
‘I wondered …’
She glanced at Cat, then quickly away. What is it, Cat puzzled, what is it she wants to ask me, to get reassurance about?
‘I get this funny breathing.’
There was nothing wrong with Iris Chater. She was afraid … afraid of dying as her husband had died, andvulnerable after his death. Cat examined her briefly. She had no symptoms, had had no chest pains or breathlessnessand her lungs were clear.
‘I don’t want to prescribe you sleeping tablets or tranquillisers. I don’t honestly think you need them.’
‘Oh no, I wouldn’t want anything like that, Doctor.’
‘But you do need to relax.’
‘It’s just what I can’t do, you see.’
‘Have you ever listened to one of those relaxation tapes … soothing music, and exercises to do to calm your breathing?’
‘Like in those Easternreligions?’
‘No, these are much more straightforward – just aids to relaxing. I’m afraid I can’t prescribe them but they sell them at the health shops. They’re not expensive. Why don’t you go and have a browse … ask them if there are any they recommend? If you buy one of those and try using it to help you relax every day even just for quarter of an hour, I think you’ll find it will really help.But you’ve lost your husband of fifty years, Mrs Chater. What you’re going through is normal. You’re not going to feel yourself again for a while yet, you know.’
The rest of the surgery took its course through sore throats and period pains to children’s ear infections and arthritic joints.
At twenty to twelve, Jean brought in a mug of coffee.
‘There’s just Mrs McCafferty.’
For the past busycouple of hours, Cat had been able to put it to the back of her mind.
‘Give me a couple of minutes.’
Jean smiled sympathetically as she went out.
*
How often, Cat wondered half an hour later, have I been helped through a difficult consultation by the patient? Been comforted myself by people who have just been told that their illness is terminal? Even had to tell parents that their child isgoing to die, only to be reassured by them that they were certain she, the doctor, had done everything she could and that they knew she was as upset as they were.
And now, Karin McCafferty had been calm, controlled – and sympathetic. ‘It’s rotten for you as well … probably worse with a patient you know as well as you know me.’ Those had been her first words, as she had given Cat a hug. ‘But I’mOK … and I liked Dr Monk very much.’
It had been three weeks since Karin had first come to the surgery about the lump in her breast, and Cat had suspected at once that it was malignant, but she had been shocked at the results of the X-rays, which had shown extensive
‘I see.’
‘Are you worried about being in the house on your own at night?’
‘Oh no, Dr Deerbon. He’s there with me, you see … Harry’s always there.’
Like many of Cat’solder patients, Iris Chater was not ill, she needed reassurance and a listening ear. Nevertheless, Cat sensed that she was holding something back, in spite of her gentle probing. She waited a moment, but nothing came.
‘Well, pop in and see me again in a month. I want to know how you’re getting on and in the meantime, if there’s anything at all …’
Iris Chater made a business of getting up, gatheringherself, going towards the door, then, at the very last moment, she turned.
‘There is something, isn’t there?’ Cat said gently.
The tears filled the woman’s eyes again.
‘If I could just know, Doctor. If I could just be sure that he’s all right. Is there any way I can be sure?’
‘Aren’t you sure? In your own heart? Come on … Harry was a good man.’
‘He was, wasn’t he? He really was.’
Stillshe did not go.
‘I wondered …’
She glanced at Cat, then quickly away. What is it, Cat puzzled, what is it she wants to ask me, to get reassurance about?
‘I get this funny breathing.’
There was nothing wrong with Iris Chater. She was afraid … afraid of dying as her husband had died, andvulnerable after his death. Cat examined her briefly. She had no symptoms, had had no chest pains or breathlessnessand her lungs were clear.
‘I don’t want to prescribe you sleeping tablets or tranquillisers. I don’t honestly think you need them.’
‘Oh no, I wouldn’t want anything like that, Doctor.’
‘But you do need to relax.’
‘It’s just what I can’t do, you see.’
‘Have you ever listened to one of those relaxation tapes … soothing music, and exercises to do to calm your breathing?’
‘Like in those Easternreligions?’
‘No, these are much more straightforward – just aids to relaxing. I’m afraid I can’t prescribe them but they sell them at the health shops. They’re not expensive. Why don’t you go and have a browse … ask them if there are any they recommend? If you buy one of those and try using it to help you relax every day even just for quarter of an hour, I think you’ll find it will really help.But you’ve lost your husband of fifty years, Mrs Chater. What you’re going through is normal. You’re not going to feel yourself again for a while yet, you know.’
The rest of the surgery took its course through sore throats and period pains to children’s ear infections and arthritic joints.
At twenty to twelve, Jean brought in a mug of coffee.
‘There’s just Mrs McCafferty.’
For the past busycouple of hours, Cat had been able to put it to the back of her mind.
‘Give me a couple of minutes.’
Jean smiled sympathetically as she went out.
*
How often, Cat wondered half an hour later, have I been helped through a difficult consultation by the patient? Been comforted myself by people who have just been told that their illness is terminal? Even had to tell parents that their child isgoing to die, only to be reassured by them that they were certain she, the doctor, had done everything she could and that they knew she was as upset as they were.
And now, Karin McCafferty had been calm, controlled – and sympathetic. ‘It’s rotten for you as well … probably worse with a patient you know as well as you know me.’ Those had been her first words, as she had given Cat a hug. ‘But I’mOK … and I liked Dr Monk very much.’
It had been three weeks since Karin had first come to the surgery about the lump in her breast, and Cat had suspected at once that it was malignant, but she had been shocked at the results of the X-rays, which had shown extensive
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