The Vicar of Wakefield by Oliver Goldsmith Page B

our family these nine years, and his companion Blackberry,
that have scarce done an earthly thing for this month past. They
are both grown fat and lazy. Why should not they do something as
well as we? And let me tell you, when Moses has trimmed them a
little, they will cut a very tolerable figure.' To this proposal I
objected, that walking would be twenty times more genteel than such
a paltry conveyance, as Blackberry was wall-eyed, and the Colt
wanted a tail: that they had never been broke to the rein; but had
an hundred vicious tricks; and that we had but one saddle and
pillion in the whole house. All these objections, however, were
over-ruled; so that I was obliged to comply. The next morning I
perceived them not a little busy in collecting such materials as
might be necessary for the expedition; but as I found it would be a
business of time, I walked on to the church before, and they
promised speedily to follow. I waited near an hour in the reading
desk for their arrival; but not finding them come as expected, I
was obliged to begin, and went through the service, not without
some uneasiness at finding them absent. This was encreased when all
was finished, and no appearance of the family. I therefore walked
back by the horse-way, which was five miles round, tho' the
foot-way was but two, and when got about half way home, perceived
the procession marching slowly forward towards the church; my son,
my wife, and the two little ones exalted upon one horse, and my two
daughters upon the other. I demanded the cause of their delay; but
I soon found by their looks they had met with a thousand
misfortunes on the road. The horses had at first refused to move
from the door, till Mr Burchell was kind enough to beat them
forward for about two hundred yards with his cudgel. Next the
straps of my wife's pillion broke down, and they were obliged to
stop to repair them before they could proceed. After that, one of
the horses took it into his head to stand still, and neither blows
nor entreaties could prevail with him to proceed. It was just
recovering from this dismal situation that I found them; but
perceiving every thing safe, I own their present mortification did
not much displease me, as it would give me many opportunities of
future triumph, and teach my daughters more humility.

CHAPTER 11
The family still resolve to hold up their heads
    Michaelmas eve happening on the next day, we were invited to
burn nuts and play tricks at neighbour Flamborough's. Our late
mortifications had humbled us a little, or it is probable we might
have rejected such an invitation with contempt: however, we
suffered ourselves to be happy. Our honest neighbour's goose and
dumplings were fine, and the lamb's-wool, even in the opinion of my
wife, who was a connoiseur, was excellent. It is true, his manner
of telling stories was not quite so well. They were very long, and
very dull, and all about himself, and we had laughed at them ten
times before: however, we were kind enough to laugh at them once
more.
    Mr Burchell, who was of the party, was always fond of seeing
some innocent amusement going forward, and set the boys and girls
to blind man's buff. My wife too was persuaded to join in the
diversion, and it gave me pleasure to think she was not yet too
old. In the mean time, my neighbour and I looked on, laughed at
every feat, and praised our own dexterity when we were young. Hot
cockles succeeded next, questions and commands followed that, and
last of all, they sate down to hunt the slipper. As every person
may not be acquainted with this primaeval pastime, it may be
necessary to observe, that the company at this play themselves in a
ring upon the ground, all, except one who stands in the middle,
whose business it is to catch a shoe, which the company shove about
under their hams from one to another, something like a weaver's
shuttle. As it is impossible, in this case, for the lady who is up
to face all the company at once, the great beauty of the play lies
in