blew out a sigh as I put the unfinished piece of bacon down. “I don’t even know how you feel about me.”
A chair scraped against the floor. There was nothing but silence for the next the thirty seconds, but I could feel the weight of his stare.
Slowly, I turned my head to look at him.
He reached for the cup of coffee and stared down into it, brooding over it like he expected to find the answers to everything inside. Caffeine did have miraculous properties, but I didn’t think he’d find the answers we needed in that cup.
“I could have told you how I felt about you ten years ago,” Drake said after almost a full minute passed. “I could have. But it would have been wrong.”
My heart slammed against my ribs as he lifted his head. The intensity of his stare slammed into me, practically pinning me in place. “I fell in love with you that summer. And not a damn thing has changed. Not for me.”
For one brief, bright moment, hope burned inside me.
Then it felt like the very world was going to crumble beneath my feet. Once again, familiar words started to echo in the back of my mind. Harsh, brittle, so very mocking. I don’t fuck naïve little virgins, Shan.
The pain, the shame I felt then, came rushing back, every bit as deep and cutting. Slowly, I pushed back from the table. My head spun in dizzying circles and I tried to breathe in. It hurt, a band around my chest making it all but impossible to take a deep enough breath.
“Shan.” His voice, low and quiet, cut through the noise in my head.
“Don’t,” I said, shaking my head. I turned away, desperate to be alone for a few minutes. I needed to think. I so badly needed to think. This…this should make it better, right? I’d mattered then, if he could be believed. This should make it better. So why did I feel like he just slashed my heart open all over again.
I made it two steps before he came up behind me, his arms coming around me. “Let me go,” I said, forcing the words out through a throat gone tight with emotion. There was something trapped inside me. I didn’t understand it. Was it a scream? Was it a sob? I didn’t understand.
“No.” The words were spoken against my hair. “I had to do that once—it was wrong then. Even if I hadn’t been here to buy this place, I was too old for you. It was all wrong. But it didn’t change how I felt. One look at you and I was done for.”
“Let me go.” The shaking started deep inside me and I couldn’t stop it. If he didn’t let me go, and now , I was going to break. Right here. Right now.
“Why?” He spun me around and caught my face in his hands. “You came after me . You came to me last night. You’re the one who was just sitting there telling me you didn’t know how I felt and now I tell you and you want me to let you go.”
I blinked and when I looked back at him, it was through a veil of tears. I reached out, fumbling for anything that would push him away, anything that would give me the distance I needed to think. I just needed to think. “You’re lying. You son of a bitch. You told me that night that you don’t fuck naïve little virgins. Fine. I get it. I wasn’t sophisticated enough, old enough for you. But don’t you dare stand there and tell me you loved me when you were that cruel—”
“I don’t give a damn about how sophisticated you were. None of that mattered to me.”
His voice was like a slap in the air and I flinched.
Furious with myself, I continued to push. “So it was the age thing. How noble of you. You could flirt with me, make out with me, let me shove my hand down your pants, but the fact that I was a seventeen-year-old virgin— that was your stopping point. It was okay to be cruel, though.”
“Oh, fuck this,” he muttered.
“I don’t think so.” I shoved in front of him as he would have left. Pride drove me as I shoved my hands against his chest. “So it’s okay to be attracted to stupid little virgin, okay to be cruel, but no fucking
A chair scraped against the floor. There was nothing but silence for the next the thirty seconds, but I could feel the weight of his stare.
Slowly, I turned my head to look at him.
He reached for the cup of coffee and stared down into it, brooding over it like he expected to find the answers to everything inside. Caffeine did have miraculous properties, but I didn’t think he’d find the answers we needed in that cup.
“I could have told you how I felt about you ten years ago,” Drake said after almost a full minute passed. “I could have. But it would have been wrong.”
My heart slammed against my ribs as he lifted his head. The intensity of his stare slammed into me, practically pinning me in place. “I fell in love with you that summer. And not a damn thing has changed. Not for me.”
For one brief, bright moment, hope burned inside me.
Then it felt like the very world was going to crumble beneath my feet. Once again, familiar words started to echo in the back of my mind. Harsh, brittle, so very mocking. I don’t fuck naïve little virgins, Shan.
The pain, the shame I felt then, came rushing back, every bit as deep and cutting. Slowly, I pushed back from the table. My head spun in dizzying circles and I tried to breathe in. It hurt, a band around my chest making it all but impossible to take a deep enough breath.
“Shan.” His voice, low and quiet, cut through the noise in my head.
“Don’t,” I said, shaking my head. I turned away, desperate to be alone for a few minutes. I needed to think. I so badly needed to think. This…this should make it better, right? I’d mattered then, if he could be believed. This should make it better. So why did I feel like he just slashed my heart open all over again.
I made it two steps before he came up behind me, his arms coming around me. “Let me go,” I said, forcing the words out through a throat gone tight with emotion. There was something trapped inside me. I didn’t understand it. Was it a scream? Was it a sob? I didn’t understand.
“No.” The words were spoken against my hair. “I had to do that once—it was wrong then. Even if I hadn’t been here to buy this place, I was too old for you. It was all wrong. But it didn’t change how I felt. One look at you and I was done for.”
“Let me go.” The shaking started deep inside me and I couldn’t stop it. If he didn’t let me go, and now , I was going to break. Right here. Right now.
“Why?” He spun me around and caught my face in his hands. “You came after me . You came to me last night. You’re the one who was just sitting there telling me you didn’t know how I felt and now I tell you and you want me to let you go.”
I blinked and when I looked back at him, it was through a veil of tears. I reached out, fumbling for anything that would push him away, anything that would give me the distance I needed to think. I just needed to think. “You’re lying. You son of a bitch. You told me that night that you don’t fuck naïve little virgins. Fine. I get it. I wasn’t sophisticated enough, old enough for you. But don’t you dare stand there and tell me you loved me when you were that cruel—”
“I don’t give a damn about how sophisticated you were. None of that mattered to me.”
His voice was like a slap in the air and I flinched.
Furious with myself, I continued to push. “So it was the age thing. How noble of you. You could flirt with me, make out with me, let me shove my hand down your pants, but the fact that I was a seventeen-year-old virgin— that was your stopping point. It was okay to be cruel, though.”
“Oh, fuck this,” he muttered.
“I don’t think so.” I shoved in front of him as he would have left. Pride drove me as I shoved my hands against his chest. “So it’s okay to be attracted to stupid little virgin, okay to be cruel, but no fucking
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