The Watercress File: Being the Further Adventures of That Man from C. A. M. P.

The Watercress File: Being the Further Adventures of That Man from C. A. M. P. by V. J. Banis Page B

Book: The Watercress File: Being the Further Adventures of That Man from C. A. M. P. by V. J. Banis Read Free Book Online
Authors: V. J. Banis
Tags: Humor, Gay, camp, parody, man from U.N.C.L.E.
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“There’s just one thing. It is our discovery, you remember.”
    Jackie nodded reluctantly, already suspecting what was coming next, and not knowing how to prevent it.
    â€œWell then, I want you to promise us that WATERCRESS will be in on the case.”
    â€œAunt Lily, I can’t promise anything like that. For one thing, it isn’t even my case. It’s a C.I.A. matter, and they might not even want me butting in.”
    â€œWell then, promise me you’ll at least ask that nice young man, Mr. Mathews. If you ask him, I’m sure he’ll let us help. That’s all we want to do, really. We have no intention of taking his job away from him.”
    Jackie sighed. “I’ll try, Aunt Lily. But be prepared, if you do get to help, to find that it may be very dull and very routine work. You’ll be acting as flunkies, if anything.”
    â€œOh, we’ll be thrilled to do anything at all,” Aunt Lily promised him, all smiles and happiness again.
    Just how he should go about turning this case over to the C.I.A. remained something of a puzzle to Jackie. He could hardly go to the chief, since that would mean going through Miss Temple, and perhaps tipping her off to the details. Craig was decidedly the best bet, but he would have to see Craig privately. With that in mind, he telephoned and left a message for Craig to contact him, adding that it was urgent.
    That brought a suggestion that someone else handle the matter, which Jackie declined, and a request for information regarding the problem, which Jackie again declined. The young man on the other end of the line sounded both disappointed and annoyed by the time the conversation was ended.
    Nevertheless, Craig did call, in the middle of the afternoon. Jackie explained that he could not go into details over the phone and, although Craig sounded dubious, he finally agreed to meet Jackie for a drink later in the afternoon.
    * * * *
    At first, Craig was cold and distant, as he had been at their first meeting. As Jackie explained, quickly and efficiently, the situation that had developed, Craig lost his aloofness and became all attention.
    â€œMiss Temple?” he said finally, aghast. “But that’s not possible...or is it...?”
    Jackie allowed him to contemplate the matter for a moment or two before going on. “As you can see for yourself, it’s a touchy situation. One could hardly make a charge without being absolutely certain of being able to prove it. Personally, I think it would be well worth your while to investigate it, strictly on the Q.T. That way, if nothing comes of it, you haven’t caused any embarrassment for yourself, or for anybody else. And if it all checks out, then it will be a fine feather in your cap.”
    â€œYou’re right, of course.” Craig was frowning thoughtfully as he swirled his drink about in his glass. “But I’ll need some help.”
    Jackie said nothing, waiting for the handsome agent to continue.
    â€œI’m not too keen on your outfit, or on your kind. I guess you know that.” Craig softened the remark with an apologetic, heart-melting grin. His Irish eyes were smiling, and just like the song they were stealing Jackie’s heart away.
    â€œStill, I have to admit you’re a sharp operator,” Craig continued. “What do you say, how about giving me a hand with this one, at least until I’ve something definite to go on?”
    Jackie remembered his promise to Aunt Lily. He hated to involve his zany relatives in the case at all, but he couldn’t go back on his word—and anyway, it was entirely possible they might be useful. After all, until they had a definite case, he and Craig would be working on their own.
    â€œIt’s a deal,” he said finally. “But on one condition.”
    â€œWhat’s that?”
    â€œYou have to let my aunts and cousins help too.” Ignoring Craig’s dismayed expression, Jackie

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