without even putting away the leftovers, and went to my living room to pray. By the time my mother called to let me know she had gotten home okay, some of the burden had lifted, but after I hung up the phone, I continued to pray.
Later, as I lay in bed, I began to suspect that today had been one battle in what I feared was going to be an all-out war for Corrie.
Corrie
After Eli brought me home last night, I put away the groceries, grabbed a pillow and blanket and my cushions, and went out to the porch. It was actually a little cool, and a few sprinkles dotted the ground, but that was okay. The quilt was warm and the cushions comfortable, and this was so much better than trying to sleep alone in that house.
My fitful drunken sleep the night before had left me exhausted, despite my long nap, and I fell asleep almost instantly. I woke up once, thinking someone had called my name, but when I sat up, I realized it must have been a dream.
I woke again to a hazy predawn world that was amazingly beautiful. I didn’t want to miss sunrise, so I stepped inside and made a pot of coffee as quickly as I could. I was glad I’d invested in the BUNN coffee maker that finished brewing in four minutes. By the time I made it back from the bathroom, I could pour strong coffee into my mug andwalk back out to the porch. My blanket still felt warm from the memory of my body heat.
The sun rose behind the house and flashed across the tree line, where the haze rose from the river overnight and hovered. It was an ethereal fog, like something out of a movie. The thick mist blanketing the trees gave up its hold on the ancient oaks and cedars as the sun brought the morning. The breathtaking view would never get old, and I ached because I’d never share it with Jarrod.
I leaned against the arm of the swing and pulled my legs up. Sipping the warm, strong, sweet coffee, I watched the sun light my new world without Jarrod, and I let the tears fall.
“Jarrod,” I said around a deep breath and closed my eyes. “I’ve been so mad at you, babe. So mad I just wanted to scream at you for saving lives at your expense. And my expense. And the expense of all the children that are never going to fill this house.”
Keeping my eyes shut, I pictured him standing in front of me, holding out his palm. Lost in the fantasy, I lifted my hand and felt the warm memory. We stayed there, palm against palm, the way we’d done a thousand times.
My breathing slowed, and maybe I fell back asleep, but I felt the warmth from his cheek brush by mine. His breath floated my hair across my ear and tickled my earlobe, just as he had done too many times to count.
My stomach jumped, and I opened my eyes. I was so sure I’d find him sitting next to me, his arm pulling me close, that when he wasn’t there, I nearly burst into tears of disappointment.
Instead, I saw Eli’s truck coming up the road. Shaking, I forcedcomposure I didn’t feel and tried to shove away the memory of a phantom touch I could have sworn was real.
Eli had been great last night, taking me to Springfield, putting off a day of work for me. I know it put him behind. Jarrod had been right. Eli was the kind of guy a person could count on. Fleetingly, I wondered why some lucky girl hadn’t snatched him up by now.
His truck kicked up dust from the driveway as he pulled into the circular drive. Really, it was more an extension of the road than a driveway. He stepped out, carrying dishes.
“What’s that?” I called as my mind slowly began the climb from the dream world to reality.
“Mom made eggplant parmesan last night.” He smiled. “There’s lots left. I thought we could have it for lunch if you want.”
“Sounds perfect.” I returned his smile. “Tell her thank you.” I opened the door and held it while he carried the food inside. He set the containers on the counter, and I put them in the fridge. I nodded to the coffeepot. “Help yourself. It’s fresh.”
“How do you feel today?” He
Later, as I lay in bed, I began to suspect that today had been one battle in what I feared was going to be an all-out war for Corrie.
Corrie
After Eli brought me home last night, I put away the groceries, grabbed a pillow and blanket and my cushions, and went out to the porch. It was actually a little cool, and a few sprinkles dotted the ground, but that was okay. The quilt was warm and the cushions comfortable, and this was so much better than trying to sleep alone in that house.
My fitful drunken sleep the night before had left me exhausted, despite my long nap, and I fell asleep almost instantly. I woke up once, thinking someone had called my name, but when I sat up, I realized it must have been a dream.
I woke again to a hazy predawn world that was amazingly beautiful. I didn’t want to miss sunrise, so I stepped inside and made a pot of coffee as quickly as I could. I was glad I’d invested in the BUNN coffee maker that finished brewing in four minutes. By the time I made it back from the bathroom, I could pour strong coffee into my mug andwalk back out to the porch. My blanket still felt warm from the memory of my body heat.
The sun rose behind the house and flashed across the tree line, where the haze rose from the river overnight and hovered. It was an ethereal fog, like something out of a movie. The thick mist blanketing the trees gave up its hold on the ancient oaks and cedars as the sun brought the morning. The breathtaking view would never get old, and I ached because I’d never share it with Jarrod.
I leaned against the arm of the swing and pulled my legs up. Sipping the warm, strong, sweet coffee, I watched the sun light my new world without Jarrod, and I let the tears fall.
“Jarrod,” I said around a deep breath and closed my eyes. “I’ve been so mad at you, babe. So mad I just wanted to scream at you for saving lives at your expense. And my expense. And the expense of all the children that are never going to fill this house.”
Keeping my eyes shut, I pictured him standing in front of me, holding out his palm. Lost in the fantasy, I lifted my hand and felt the warm memory. We stayed there, palm against palm, the way we’d done a thousand times.
My breathing slowed, and maybe I fell back asleep, but I felt the warmth from his cheek brush by mine. His breath floated my hair across my ear and tickled my earlobe, just as he had done too many times to count.
My stomach jumped, and I opened my eyes. I was so sure I’d find him sitting next to me, his arm pulling me close, that when he wasn’t there, I nearly burst into tears of disappointment.
Instead, I saw Eli’s truck coming up the road. Shaking, I forcedcomposure I didn’t feel and tried to shove away the memory of a phantom touch I could have sworn was real.
Eli had been great last night, taking me to Springfield, putting off a day of work for me. I know it put him behind. Jarrod had been right. Eli was the kind of guy a person could count on. Fleetingly, I wondered why some lucky girl hadn’t snatched him up by now.
His truck kicked up dust from the driveway as he pulled into the circular drive. Really, it was more an extension of the road than a driveway. He stepped out, carrying dishes.
“What’s that?” I called as my mind slowly began the climb from the dream world to reality.
“Mom made eggplant parmesan last night.” He smiled. “There’s lots left. I thought we could have it for lunch if you want.”
“Sounds perfect.” I returned his smile. “Tell her thank you.” I opened the door and held it while he carried the food inside. He set the containers on the counter, and I put them in the fridge. I nodded to the coffeepot. “Help yourself. It’s fresh.”
“How do you feel today?” He
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