ants from a sand hill. We managed to find this narrow plank of wood, and thank Christ it was long enough to reach the building next door. It was too flimsy for the weight of more than a single person at a time, so we had to cross one by one. Six of us made it across. Tom—we knew he was nervous, so Julie coached him from behind while the rest of us encouraged him from the other side. He couldn’t walk across fast enough, so he had to start crawling along the board. Crawling. Dammit.
He finally made it. Julie did a good job beating them back before getting on the board, but by the time she was halfway across, one of them had reached the plank and placed its weight on it. The board snapped in two. She didn’t even have a chance to make a jump for it.& Samantha, Chicago, IL
—Samantha, Chicago, IL
EXERCISE REGIMEN
Disregard specialized workouts that overdevelop particular muscle groups for the sake of vanity, as well as exercises that require any unwieldy equipment. Your fitness routine should be practical and portable, and should replicate the functional movements you may be required to accomplish during evasion or defensive action against the living dead.
Think about what may be required of you in any given day during an outbreak. In a matter of hours, you may have to run from attackers, scramble over abandoned vehicles, crawl under fencing, and dispatch a group of zombies with several skull-crushing blows. It’s no surprise that those employed in “blue-collar” jobs involving a high degree of manual labor exhibit some of the best survival rates during an undead siege. These individuals work their muscles almost daily in practical application.
Most of the primary muscle groups on the human body are stressed during a zombie attack:
• Deltoids, pectorals —pushing attackers, thrusting swords or spears
• Latissimus dorsi —pulling/extracting weapons, swinging bludgeons
• Quadriceps, hamstrings —running, climbing, kicking, and stomping
• Abdominals, obliques, core —every action previously listed
Although these are the major muscle groups on which you should focus in your fitness routine, you should also employ movements that require coordinating several of these muscle groups in unison. Straightforward, compound movements should be emphasized. Minimize exercises such as calf raises, concentration curls, and triceps extensions that work minor muscle groups. Develop the larger muscles aggressively, and the smaller ones will adapt accordingly.
You need to be able to accomplish your routine with minimal to no equipment (weights, mats, DVD player), silently (given your particular security situation), and in a confined area. This will replicate a possible scenario during a zombie outbreak in which you must remain quiet in a restricted space. Jogging becomes a luxury exercise during the course of an undead infestation. Given this unique situation, focusing on calisthenics and body-weight exercises is ideal. If you perform these movements regularly at an appropriate intensity level, you will become fit enough to defend yourself quite effectively for any duration.
Here are some foundational exercises to start your routine.
PUSH-UPS: The standard of upper-body-strength exercises. Even after decades of exercise fads, machines, and electronic “pulse” muscle developers, this exercise has stood the test of time and will build your shoulders, chest, and arms in addition to the complementary joints and ligaments that work in coordination with these muscles. Start with your palms and feet on the floor and your back straight. With your arms shoulder-width apart, bend at the elbows and lower your body until it nearly touches the floor. Press your body back up until your elbows are almost locked. For those who find this movement difficult, start with the easy version of this exercise, with your knees on the floor and legs crossed at the ankles. You can add variety to this movement and target complementary muscles
He finally made it. Julie did a good job beating them back before getting on the board, but by the time she was halfway across, one of them had reached the plank and placed its weight on it. The board snapped in two. She didn’t even have a chance to make a jump for it.& Samantha, Chicago, IL
—Samantha, Chicago, IL
EXERCISE REGIMEN
Disregard specialized workouts that overdevelop particular muscle groups for the sake of vanity, as well as exercises that require any unwieldy equipment. Your fitness routine should be practical and portable, and should replicate the functional movements you may be required to accomplish during evasion or defensive action against the living dead.
Think about what may be required of you in any given day during an outbreak. In a matter of hours, you may have to run from attackers, scramble over abandoned vehicles, crawl under fencing, and dispatch a group of zombies with several skull-crushing blows. It’s no surprise that those employed in “blue-collar” jobs involving a high degree of manual labor exhibit some of the best survival rates during an undead siege. These individuals work their muscles almost daily in practical application.
Most of the primary muscle groups on the human body are stressed during a zombie attack:
• Deltoids, pectorals —pushing attackers, thrusting swords or spears
• Latissimus dorsi —pulling/extracting weapons, swinging bludgeons
• Quadriceps, hamstrings —running, climbing, kicking, and stomping
• Abdominals, obliques, core —every action previously listed
Although these are the major muscle groups on which you should focus in your fitness routine, you should also employ movements that require coordinating several of these muscle groups in unison. Straightforward, compound movements should be emphasized. Minimize exercises such as calf raises, concentration curls, and triceps extensions that work minor muscle groups. Develop the larger muscles aggressively, and the smaller ones will adapt accordingly.
You need to be able to accomplish your routine with minimal to no equipment (weights, mats, DVD player), silently (given your particular security situation), and in a confined area. This will replicate a possible scenario during a zombie outbreak in which you must remain quiet in a restricted space. Jogging becomes a luxury exercise during the course of an undead infestation. Given this unique situation, focusing on calisthenics and body-weight exercises is ideal. If you perform these movements regularly at an appropriate intensity level, you will become fit enough to defend yourself quite effectively for any duration.
Here are some foundational exercises to start your routine.
PUSH-UPS: The standard of upper-body-strength exercises. Even after decades of exercise fads, machines, and electronic “pulse” muscle developers, this exercise has stood the test of time and will build your shoulders, chest, and arms in addition to the complementary joints and ligaments that work in coordination with these muscles. Start with your palms and feet on the floor and your back straight. With your arms shoulder-width apart, bend at the elbows and lower your body until it nearly touches the floor. Press your body back up until your elbows are almost locked. For those who find this movement difficult, start with the easy version of this exercise, with your knees on the floor and legs crossed at the ankles. You can add variety to this movement and target complementary muscles
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