artificial limb, or Ally as my Dad nicknamed her when I was a kid. All my new legs, and there have been quite a few, have been Ally, like a pet, not an extension of myself.
Just like a pet, I’m fond of every single one. They’ve each helped me accomplish my dreams, ones that many told me I could never achieve. I’ve never been afraid of what I’m told I can’t do, only the things I’m told I have to do. That’s the sucky part of life.
You can’t join dance classes. Yes, I can.
You can’t ride a motorbike. Yes, I can.
You can’t become a physiotherapist. Yes, I can.
You can’t be a real woman. Yes, I am.
You must take your meds.
You must do your exercises.
You must have another surgery.
Yeah, I guess I must.
I t’s Saturday.
The day I get to have my payback date with Bunny Girl.
I thought long and hard about where I could take her that would make her squirm. After dismissing a strip club, naked couples’ massage and a ‘tantric sex for two’ class, I settle on taking Jake & Em up on their offer of lunch at their place, but I haven’t told them I’m bringing a date. I also failed to declare to Lilah, that she is about to meet the man voted ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ two years in a row.
Yeah, her face will be a picture. I’ll take that as my payback.
Besides, even after all that happened on our weird, ‘date from hell’, I can’t stop thinking about her.
It took me almost two weeks to get her number.
Josh refused citing ‘professional responsibilities’, her work declined for security reasons, so I tracked down the kid who has therapy with her in Josh’s school and manipulated him into finding out.
When I say manipulated, I mean bribed.
Her phone number cost me forty quid. What can I say? The little shit is a master negotiator. Plus, I would have paid more. I’m broke anyway, so you can’t miss what you don’t have. I don’t have Lilah, but I’m going to break out my patented H moves to get her.
Once, I’ve had my payback, of course.
I head towards her apartment in the Banana mobile, not worried in the slightest if this car is an embarrassment as she’s already seen it. Plus, she drives a freaking Mustang; I can’t compete with that.
When I pull up to the curb outside her building, she’s standing there waiting, but she’s not alone; she’s with her doppelganger.
I know she said she has a twin sister, but they are identical. The only differences being the way they dress and their hairstyles. Lilah has on a flowing white skirt, and a tight vest top, with multi-coloured bangles around her wrist and the twin is in blood-spattered scrubs. Lilah has a funky, uneven cut in dark chocolate brown and her sister’s hair is shoulder length but the same glossy colour. Their other similarity is that on seeing me approach in my mother’s anti-sex machine, they both wear the same amused grin.
Yeah, I know I look ridiculous folded into this piece of shit, but beggars can’t be choosers.
Her doppelganger nudges Lilah’s arm and wiggles her eyebrows as I step out of the car and onto the pavement in front of them. I’m not sure if it’s code for ‘he’s hot’ or ‘who the fuck is this loser?’, I guess I’d prefer the former, but the latter isn’t too far off the mark.
“Hey, Bunny Girl.” My smile is big as I look straight at Lilah; then I turn to address her sister. “You must be the twofer… I mean twin. Nice to meet you, I wasn’t expecting a chaperone.”
I say it with humour in my voice, but I can only imagine what Jake and Em will say if I turn up with hot twins on my arm.
She grins at me before running her eyes over the yellow monstrosity behind me, “Just checking out my big sister’s date, she doesn’t have the best taste in men, and someone has to make sure you’re not a serial killer.”
Lilah smacks her across the shoulder and hisses, “Behave, Nic”, under her breath.
The doppelganger looks affronted. “What? I’m just keeping it real. Besides,
Just like a pet, I’m fond of every single one. They’ve each helped me accomplish my dreams, ones that many told me I could never achieve. I’ve never been afraid of what I’m told I can’t do, only the things I’m told I have to do. That’s the sucky part of life.
You can’t join dance classes. Yes, I can.
You can’t ride a motorbike. Yes, I can.
You can’t become a physiotherapist. Yes, I can.
You can’t be a real woman. Yes, I am.
You must take your meds.
You must do your exercises.
You must have another surgery.
Yeah, I guess I must.
I t’s Saturday.
The day I get to have my payback date with Bunny Girl.
I thought long and hard about where I could take her that would make her squirm. After dismissing a strip club, naked couples’ massage and a ‘tantric sex for two’ class, I settle on taking Jake & Em up on their offer of lunch at their place, but I haven’t told them I’m bringing a date. I also failed to declare to Lilah, that she is about to meet the man voted ‘Sexiest Man Alive’ two years in a row.
Yeah, her face will be a picture. I’ll take that as my payback.
Besides, even after all that happened on our weird, ‘date from hell’, I can’t stop thinking about her.
It took me almost two weeks to get her number.
Josh refused citing ‘professional responsibilities’, her work declined for security reasons, so I tracked down the kid who has therapy with her in Josh’s school and manipulated him into finding out.
When I say manipulated, I mean bribed.
Her phone number cost me forty quid. What can I say? The little shit is a master negotiator. Plus, I would have paid more. I’m broke anyway, so you can’t miss what you don’t have. I don’t have Lilah, but I’m going to break out my patented H moves to get her.
Once, I’ve had my payback, of course.
I head towards her apartment in the Banana mobile, not worried in the slightest if this car is an embarrassment as she’s already seen it. Plus, she drives a freaking Mustang; I can’t compete with that.
When I pull up to the curb outside her building, she’s standing there waiting, but she’s not alone; she’s with her doppelganger.
I know she said she has a twin sister, but they are identical. The only differences being the way they dress and their hairstyles. Lilah has on a flowing white skirt, and a tight vest top, with multi-coloured bangles around her wrist and the twin is in blood-spattered scrubs. Lilah has a funky, uneven cut in dark chocolate brown and her sister’s hair is shoulder length but the same glossy colour. Their other similarity is that on seeing me approach in my mother’s anti-sex machine, they both wear the same amused grin.
Yeah, I know I look ridiculous folded into this piece of shit, but beggars can’t be choosers.
Her doppelganger nudges Lilah’s arm and wiggles her eyebrows as I step out of the car and onto the pavement in front of them. I’m not sure if it’s code for ‘he’s hot’ or ‘who the fuck is this loser?’, I guess I’d prefer the former, but the latter isn’t too far off the mark.
“Hey, Bunny Girl.” My smile is big as I look straight at Lilah; then I turn to address her sister. “You must be the twofer… I mean twin. Nice to meet you, I wasn’t expecting a chaperone.”
I say it with humour in my voice, but I can only imagine what Jake and Em will say if I turn up with hot twins on my arm.
She grins at me before running her eyes over the yellow monstrosity behind me, “Just checking out my big sister’s date, she doesn’t have the best taste in men, and someone has to make sure you’re not a serial killer.”
Lilah smacks her across the shoulder and hisses, “Behave, Nic”, under her breath.
The doppelganger looks affronted. “What? I’m just keeping it real. Besides,
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