Three Ex Presidents and James Franco by John Buchanan

you're talking about." I interrupted his tirades at last, sure he was quoting one of those books on his shelf I'd leafed through. It had a very pseudo scientific look to it, that book. "It says having a lot of the things which women want makes you gay. No further explanation than that. No explanation as to why being successful or clean, any of those stereotypes, makes you gay. I know lots of smart straight men. And lots of gay underachievers. Zach only washes once a week. And to tell you the truth I don't even know what he does. Is he still even enrolled in college?"
     
                  "Exceptions, exceptions, exceptions. They make for bad rules." Jake waved my objections aside but was delighted I was taking the bait. "Generally i t’ s true. Why else would nature have given us the homosexual gene? I t’ s against the way evolution works. Nature would never have given us this gene unless there's some good in it."
     
                  "But tha t’ s the point. Is there much good in it?" I startled myself with that question. "If there's such good in it, in the gayness, why did nature make it so that it can't reproduce? It makes no sense to say the gay man is the ultimate in evolution if evolution seems to want to get rid of him."
     
                  "Evolution doesn't want to get rid of the gay. The gay. The you, the me. We'll always be here because everyone has a bit of the gay in them. A bit of the perfection. And when a couple comes together with the right combination, you get the perfect. The you, the me. And now I can only find other perfect people attractive." He was being half sarcastic, and getting playful now, smiling at me and rubbing my leg.
     
                  But I wouldn't let it drop: "Do you want another explanation of why gay people exist? Why I exist and am gay?"
     
                  “ To make me happy?" More smiles from Jake.
     
                  "No, because maybe it is genetic. I'll admit that. But that doesn't mean it hasn't been inherited. Oscar Wilde had kids. My uncle Tom, who everyone except his wife accepts must be gay, has had kids. And even his kids are pretty sure he's queer. There is no problem explaining homosexuality through genes, history shows us gay men had children."
     
                  "So you're saying gays exist because they have kids, and tha t’ s why they'll always be here?"
     
                  "No, I'm not saying they'll always be here at all." I was more animated than I should have been, more irritated with Jake than I should have been, for this pointless road trip that I wasn't forced to come on. "Have a look around you. Look at the world. If there is a gay gene i t’ s disappearing very fast.
     
                  "A hundred years ago all the gay men had kids. I t’ s what was done. Now they all move to San Francisco, or wherever. Their sperm condemned to oblivion. Condemned to a condom, or to be swallowed, or wiped away, forever.
     
                  "Yes, maybe there were gays who just didn't have kids. James Buchanan didn't. But now there's more guys like that. Less gay guys having kids, genetic kids. The gene is dying out. Not fast. If I had kids the genes, the gene combination, or whatever it is would be recessive. Chances are my kids would be straight. But if I don't have kids tha t’ s one less recessive gene out there. And in a hundred years that could mean ten less gay men out there. Think about that."
     
                  My voice had risen all the time during my rant. My moment, my firm declaration to Jake of my independence of thought. He was silent for a while. I thought he was offended by my aggressive tone.
     
                  But he was just thinking. Suddenly he took a left and we were headed off the freeway to a town called Lancaster.
     
                  "Where are we going?" I was a little