was enlarged, and she found new interests to replace the slackening demands made on her by her daughters.
It was after one of these tea parties, when we were washing up, that Mother said: âAre we going to have a marriage in the family, darling?â
My hands froze amongst the soapsuds of the washing-up water. Had she misunderstood Ajitâs and my relationship, and if she had, how could I explain its special quality?
âI donât know, Mummy,â I said guardedly.
âI think so, dear â Angela and Jamie.â
I sighed with relief. Mother knew nothing of Jamesâs proposal to me; all she knew was that he used to pay equal attention to both her daughters, but recently he had taken Angela out alone on one or two occasions.
âI hope you are right, Mother,â I said, as I shook more soap flakes into the water.
Mother looked troubled.
âI sometimes worry about Angela,â she said. âI can never get close to her as I can to you â even when she was a small child she seemed remote and independent.â
âDonât worry, Mother. Angela is a very capable young woman and well able to take care of herself.â
Mother sighed.
âI expect you are right, darling â it would be so nice if she married James â heâs so dependable.â
So Mother felt the same as I did about Angela. As far as her personal affairs were concerned, she was bafflingly unapproachable â and yet we both loved her. Whenever I thought of Angela I thought of kindness. We had shared our toys, lent each other clothes for special occasions, rarely quarrelled. When we were at Grammar School we had confided in each other about our boy friends and small triumphs and disappointments; but when I preceded her to University that closeness seemed to vanish, probably just because we saw less of each other.
What did I know of Angela, the grown-up, sophisticated Angela, who, now that the war was over, was beginning to publish modest papers on her work?
She was a shadowy figure who had rejoiced with me over my engagement to Jackie; held me tightly while I got over his death and had been glad when I became engaged to Barney â or had she been glad? She had seemed surprised, almost shocked at first.
As I carefully laid the plates on the draining-board for Mother to dry, I thought again of that terrible last year of the war and of the events that led up to my engagement to Barney.
The twins had lived down the road from us since they were small boys and we had often played together. Barney,James, Angela and me, and as we grew older we had occasionally paired off â my heart missed a beat â not Barney and Peggie, and James and Angela, but Barney and Angela, with James and me left to our own devices.
I dropped a cup and smashed it.
âMy love, I hope you are not upset about James and Angela,â said Mother, helping me to pick up the bits.
âOh, no, Mummy,â I said truthfully, âI am very pleased.â
I put the bits of broken china into the sink basket and apologised for my clumsiness.
Barneyâs actual wooing of me, apart from odd kisses at childrenâs parties, had been short and sweet. It had been compressed into fourteen daysâ leave during which we had become engaged, and one subsequent leave. In between there had been letters every two or three days â love letters.
I had been very flattered by the sudden special attention from a man who had stood high in my affection from childhood. His hot, almost desperate passion had awakened an equal passion in me, and the idea of spending the rest of my life with him made me glow with happiness.
Mechanically I emptied the teapot as I thought back to the days before Barney had volunteered for military service â and I was afraid. A fine sweat trickled down my back and I clutched the teapot firmly in case its fate should be the same as the broken teacup. I began to remember odd times when the four
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