Tiddas by Anita Heiss Page B

girls listened again to her conception problems.
    â€˜Isn’t it too early to be thinking about it though? Have you actually been trying naturally for that long?’ Veronica asked.
    â€˜We’re both thirty-nine,’ Xanthe took a deep breath, ‘and they say a woman’s fertility drops at thirty-six, and we’ve been trying for a year. In reality, we probably should’ve started talking about this six months ago, two years ago even.’ Xanthe was agitated, angry with herself for being so career-focused she’d almost forgotten about having the family they’d both talked about before even getting married.
    â€˜For what it’s worth, I don’t buy all that test-tube crap,’ Nadine added coldly, as if they were talking about choosing a brand of toothpaste, not a method of conceiving. ‘Just relax and let it happen naturally,’ she added unsympathetically, still wearing her sunglasses and twirling the celery in her Bloody Mary.
    Veronica glared at Nadine for being so insensitive, and Xanthe struck back with anger and sarcasm in her shakyvoice. ‘That’s easy for you to say, when without any effort you had two children who you don’t even seem to like half the time.’
    There was silence all round as Xanthe’s words hit everyone with the same degree of ‘Ouch!’
    Xanthe retracted her statement immediately. ‘I’m sorry, really. I shouldn’t have said that. This whole situation is making me nuts. But that’s no excuse, I really am sorry, Nadine.’ Xanthe reached across the table, and put her hand on top of Nadine’s in a warm display of apology and friendship.
    â€˜Like water off a duck’s back,’ Nadine said generously. ‘No offence taken, darling, you’re right. I don’t like them half the time, you can borrow them whenever you like. And then you’ll prefer contraception over conception, believe me.’ Although she loved her kids, Nadine knew she was a crappy mother a lot of the time. She was trying to lighten the mood, but it didn’t help Xanthe.
    Two waitresses brought a round of coffees and breakfasts and the atmosphere immediately became less tense. The table was alive with colour and aromas: Middle Eastern fruit loaf, grilled chorizo, eggs, macadamia and cranberry granola, and another Bloody Mary for Nadine. The girls started on what looked to be the perfect Easter feast and while the conversation slowed, it hadn’t ended.
    Spreading the pineapple honey quark on her toast, Xanthe continued, ‘What about you, Vee? What do you think I should do?’ Xanthe was determined to walk away with some clarity on the issue, at least for herself. She needed to put her mind at rest. If her husband wasn’t interested in IVF, andher dearest friends thought it was a bad idea, then maybe she should just let it go. ‘I value your point of view, Vee.’ Xanthe also assumed that having been married to a GP for so long Veronica might have some added insight.
    â€˜Medically, I think IVF is an important option for couples who might otherwise never be able to have children. I know how distressing it was for Alex when he had to tell couples they were in infertile and couldn’t conceive.’ Veronica momentarily thought back to the years when she and her husband still talked about his working day, and he off-loaded the stress, without breaking confidentiality; he appreciated his wife’s sympathetic ear. That had been many years ago, but she’d never forgotten those times. ‘To tell someone they’ve run out of options when it came to having their own child was one of the hardest things about his job, I think.’
    â€˜Oh Vee, I want to have a baby so badly, and IVF means there’s one more option for me doing that.’ With that, it seemed as if Xanthe had made up her mind that it would be the next step in trying. The only step. The last step. But she