surprise him anyway. I grabbed some supplies that were hanging on the wall and went into the dressing room thankful there was still some ambient light coming in through an overhead window. I didn’t need too much anyway; I wasn’t going for precision, just effect. It was roughly forty minutes later and I was liking what I was looking at, but something just wasn’t quite right. And then it dawned on me. I quickly exited the dressing room and looked for a maintenance closet. I was just about to give up all hope when I remembered there was a door with a lock in the bathroom. I tiptoed in, doing my best not to soil my new duds and turned the handle, thankful that the bitch that had denied me a meal had not screwed me twice by locking this door. Rats scurried as I opened the door disturbing their slumber. Small bones littered the floor, they looked like little fingers. Who knew rats liked to eat in bed? Oh well; what uninvited guests do they have to worry about showing up if they don’t clean up after themselves?
There was a small toolbox in the corner. I grabbed it and headed out. I started rooting through the standard fare, screwdrivers, small hammer, wrench, etc. It wasn’t until I opened up the final drawer that I came across what I was looking for. I held it up like it was a newborn baby and I was displaying him to the world.
“This will do.” I said aloud.
I was a half hour into my newest project when I realized I could barely see. At some point, the day had run away from me and I needed light. Due to Hugh’s enhancements I could see better in the dark, but it still wasn’t like I had night vision goggles on. I traveled over to the Halloween decorations and aptly grabbed some black candles, went back up to the front for a candle lighter and within 5 minutes I was back in business. I knew I was running out of time. Hugh was beginning to grumble about being hungry again and my buddy Clarence was debating on having a moment of lucidity – although two minutes from now he was going to wish he hadn’t.
I blew out a few of the dozen candles I had going for dramatic effect. What was staring me back in the mirror was simply awe-inspiring.
Clarence was staring out of eyes he could no longer control. I made sure not to blink, giving my face an even more exaggerated tone.
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?” he screamed so loud I could hear Hugh coming to check it out. “WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?”
“I knew you’d like it,” I told him as I plastered on a menacing sneer so he could get the full scope.
I had layered my new face in white pancake make-up; then, realizing that hid my handiwork, I went back over my stitches with black, highlighting them instead of muting them. Next, I drew round red semi-circles over my eyes, donned a red wig and nose. I then capped it off by ruining what looked like ten thousand dollars of dental work by filing all of Clarence’s teeth to sharp points, which I demonstrated by pricking his tongue on them and drawing blood.
“I’m back!” I told him, bringing my white glove-clad hands up. I waved them around like jazz hands. The kiddies would have just loved this. And if I found one of the little bastards I was going to give him good reason to fear clowns.
“I’m ruined,” Clarence was crying.
“God, you’re a pussy. We are the meanest, deadliest, scariest looking motherfuckers around and you’re crying like someone stole your last Pop-Tart. We are the stuff of nightmares! OF FUCKING LEGENDS!! Mothers will tuck their kids in at night telling stories about how they should avoid Timothy. They will welcome the boogeyman instead of me. That pansy will quake at the mere mention of me!”
Clarence snapped then and there – whatever tenuous grip he still had on his psyche was shredded. It was fucking hilarious to watch. I could have been entertained for hours, but I was hungry. And what was weirder was that Hugh hadn’t even prodded me on.
I stepped out of the shop into the cool
There was a small toolbox in the corner. I grabbed it and headed out. I started rooting through the standard fare, screwdrivers, small hammer, wrench, etc. It wasn’t until I opened up the final drawer that I came across what I was looking for. I held it up like it was a newborn baby and I was displaying him to the world.
“This will do.” I said aloud.
I was a half hour into my newest project when I realized I could barely see. At some point, the day had run away from me and I needed light. Due to Hugh’s enhancements I could see better in the dark, but it still wasn’t like I had night vision goggles on. I traveled over to the Halloween decorations and aptly grabbed some black candles, went back up to the front for a candle lighter and within 5 minutes I was back in business. I knew I was running out of time. Hugh was beginning to grumble about being hungry again and my buddy Clarence was debating on having a moment of lucidity – although two minutes from now he was going to wish he hadn’t.
I blew out a few of the dozen candles I had going for dramatic effect. What was staring me back in the mirror was simply awe-inspiring.
Clarence was staring out of eyes he could no longer control. I made sure not to blink, giving my face an even more exaggerated tone.
“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?” he screamed so loud I could hear Hugh coming to check it out. “WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?”
“I knew you’d like it,” I told him as I plastered on a menacing sneer so he could get the full scope.
I had layered my new face in white pancake make-up; then, realizing that hid my handiwork, I went back over my stitches with black, highlighting them instead of muting them. Next, I drew round red semi-circles over my eyes, donned a red wig and nose. I then capped it off by ruining what looked like ten thousand dollars of dental work by filing all of Clarence’s teeth to sharp points, which I demonstrated by pricking his tongue on them and drawing blood.
“I’m back!” I told him, bringing my white glove-clad hands up. I waved them around like jazz hands. The kiddies would have just loved this. And if I found one of the little bastards I was going to give him good reason to fear clowns.
“I’m ruined,” Clarence was crying.
“God, you’re a pussy. We are the meanest, deadliest, scariest looking motherfuckers around and you’re crying like someone stole your last Pop-Tart. We are the stuff of nightmares! OF FUCKING LEGENDS!! Mothers will tuck their kids in at night telling stories about how they should avoid Timothy. They will welcome the boogeyman instead of me. That pansy will quake at the mere mention of me!”
Clarence snapped then and there – whatever tenuous grip he still had on his psyche was shredded. It was fucking hilarious to watch. I could have been entertained for hours, but I was hungry. And what was weirder was that Hugh hadn’t even prodded me on.
I stepped out of the shop into the cool
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