prematurely, but I have to figure out how to cook something that resembles roadkill , I typed . So unless you have any recipes for unidentifiable, bloody carcasses, I need to get going.
Of what species is your carcass, Ms. Harper?
I shook my head and shrugged, only then realizing he couldn’t see me. I don’t know, but it’s the size of a rabbit.
Have you skinned it?
No.
Are you in possession of a knife or some type of blade?
I glanced over at the flint blade again. Yes.
Alaire didn’t respond right away, so I figured whatever he was texting was long. I could only hope he’d just retrieved his Betty Crocker Cookbook and was texting me a recipe for braised rabbit with mushroom sauce …
First, you will need to skin the creature. Do so by cutting a ring around each of its legs, just above the leg joint. Do not cut deeply. On each leg, make a single slice going up from the ring cut to the backside of the creature. Begin to pull away some of the hide, working from the ring cut at the foot joint down to the creature’s genitalia.
Its genitalia? I texted back, figuring he was having a go at me.
What would you prefer I call it?
I could feel my cheeks coloring as soon as I realized he wasn’t making a joke which made me sound like I was all of ten years old. I muttered something that even I couldn’t make out, but texted back: Never mind. Please continue.
Very well, he replied. There was another lengthy pause during which I figured he was finishing his directions.
Make sure not to puncture or sever the bladder as you cut your way down the creature’s middle. With both hands, begin pulling the hide from the body. It should slip off easily at this point. Quite like peeling a banana. Work your way into the sleeve of the hide where you find the creature’s arms, removing its arms from the hide. This can be a bit tricky, so take your time. Then simply work the hide down from the upper torso to the head. Pull the hide to the base of the skull. Next, sever the head from the spine. The skin should entirely detach from the body. Next, clean and dress the flesh.
I was impressed. I couldn’t help it. Wow, so not only are you the leader of Hell, but you’re also an expert hunter? You must have quite the resume.
You are unimaginably witty, Ms. Harper, he answered, and even though we were conversing through text, sarcasm dripped off his words. As regards my resume … If you recall, I informed you that I hail from Swedish lineage?
I did remember. It was a conversation we’d had upon first being introduced to one another. You said you were a Viking once upon a time.
Quite so. And as I also informed you, that while I was not a noble savage by any stretch of the imagination, I was a savage all the same, which meant I had to know the ins and outs of hunting and foraging for my supper.
That’s great, I texted back, not really sure what else to say. My stomach began to growl again, reminding me how hungry I was. Anyway, I’m starving so I need to get going. Thanks for your detailed instructions. Then I thought better of ending the conversation too prematurely. I added: maybe you should start writing a Viking cookbook …
Your flare for the humorous never ceases to amaze me.
I aim to please, I replied, not even realizing I was smiling until I felt my lips spreading into a grin of their own accord. Realizing Alaire was amusing me, I immediately forced the smile away and decided to get off the phone as quickly as I could. This carcass isn’t going to skin itself so I’m going for real this time.
Very well. As always, it was a pleasure, my lady.
Just as I was about to put Bill’s phone back into my fanny pack, Alaire texted again.
Please give the Yeti my regards.
The breath caught in my throat. “Yeti” was one of Bill’s pet-names for Tallis. During our first introduction to Alaire, Bill had referred to Tallis as such, which had amused Alaire no end. But that didn’t bother me. More concerning was learning that
Of what species is your carcass, Ms. Harper?
I shook my head and shrugged, only then realizing he couldn’t see me. I don’t know, but it’s the size of a rabbit.
Have you skinned it?
No.
Are you in possession of a knife or some type of blade?
I glanced over at the flint blade again. Yes.
Alaire didn’t respond right away, so I figured whatever he was texting was long. I could only hope he’d just retrieved his Betty Crocker Cookbook and was texting me a recipe for braised rabbit with mushroom sauce …
First, you will need to skin the creature. Do so by cutting a ring around each of its legs, just above the leg joint. Do not cut deeply. On each leg, make a single slice going up from the ring cut to the backside of the creature. Begin to pull away some of the hide, working from the ring cut at the foot joint down to the creature’s genitalia.
Its genitalia? I texted back, figuring he was having a go at me.
What would you prefer I call it?
I could feel my cheeks coloring as soon as I realized he wasn’t making a joke which made me sound like I was all of ten years old. I muttered something that even I couldn’t make out, but texted back: Never mind. Please continue.
Very well, he replied. There was another lengthy pause during which I figured he was finishing his directions.
Make sure not to puncture or sever the bladder as you cut your way down the creature’s middle. With both hands, begin pulling the hide from the body. It should slip off easily at this point. Quite like peeling a banana. Work your way into the sleeve of the hide where you find the creature’s arms, removing its arms from the hide. This can be a bit tricky, so take your time. Then simply work the hide down from the upper torso to the head. Pull the hide to the base of the skull. Next, sever the head from the spine. The skin should entirely detach from the body. Next, clean and dress the flesh.
I was impressed. I couldn’t help it. Wow, so not only are you the leader of Hell, but you’re also an expert hunter? You must have quite the resume.
You are unimaginably witty, Ms. Harper, he answered, and even though we were conversing through text, sarcasm dripped off his words. As regards my resume … If you recall, I informed you that I hail from Swedish lineage?
I did remember. It was a conversation we’d had upon first being introduced to one another. You said you were a Viking once upon a time.
Quite so. And as I also informed you, that while I was not a noble savage by any stretch of the imagination, I was a savage all the same, which meant I had to know the ins and outs of hunting and foraging for my supper.
That’s great, I texted back, not really sure what else to say. My stomach began to growl again, reminding me how hungry I was. Anyway, I’m starving so I need to get going. Thanks for your detailed instructions. Then I thought better of ending the conversation too prematurely. I added: maybe you should start writing a Viking cookbook …
Your flare for the humorous never ceases to amaze me.
I aim to please, I replied, not even realizing I was smiling until I felt my lips spreading into a grin of their own accord. Realizing Alaire was amusing me, I immediately forced the smile away and decided to get off the phone as quickly as I could. This carcass isn’t going to skin itself so I’m going for real this time.
Very well. As always, it was a pleasure, my lady.
Just as I was about to put Bill’s phone back into my fanny pack, Alaire texted again.
Please give the Yeti my regards.
The breath caught in my throat. “Yeti” was one of Bill’s pet-names for Tallis. During our first introduction to Alaire, Bill had referred to Tallis as such, which had amused Alaire no end. But that didn’t bother me. More concerning was learning that
Similar Books
