To Love and Protect by Susan Mallery Page B

That he was one of the broken ones who seemed to fit in on the outside, but was never a part of the world. Falling in love wasn’t an option. Not now, not ever.
     

    Everett Baker paid for his lunch then stepped out of line and into the seating area of the Portland General Hospital cafeteria. It was close to one and most of the tables were filled with staff members or families of patients.
    He saw a group of doctors by the east window, a large family next to the door, and over by the south window sat four nurses.
    He told himself not to look, then found himself staring as the women laughed. Nancy Allen laughed loudest of all. Her mouth opened wide, her short brown hair swayed, and when she leaned toward one of her friends and said something he couldn’t hear, the laughter erupted again.
    His chest tightened at the sound. He wished that he could walk over and pull up a chair. That the women would greet him like an old friend, while Nancy gave him that special smile she had. He wanted to nestle his tray next to hers, gaze into her hazel eyes and have her tell him how much she’d missed him.
    None of that was ever going to happen, he told himself. Nancy Allen didn’t know he was alive.
    Everett turned away and found a small empty table against the far wall. He set down his lunch tray, then pulled a paperback book out of his back pocket. He would read while he ate, the way he always did. Alone. Wanting things to be different but not knowing how to change them.
    He flipped to the right page and began reading. At the same time he picked up his sandwich and took a bite. But the familiar routine didn’t comfort him, nor could he concentrate when he kept hearing laughter from across the room.
    He stole another look at Nancy. She was sure pretty. About his height, but slender and feminine. Sometimes, when he allowed himself to fantasize about her, he thought that they would look good together. That she was the kind of woman to make a man walk taller, prouder. With her, he knew he could feel…special.
    Nancy looked up and caught his gaze. Everett turned away and quickly focused on his book. He didn’t want her to know that he liked her, thought of her. He didn’t want her feeling sorry for him.
    He tried to bury himself in his book, but the words all blurred and his sandwich tasted dry.
    He wished he was different. He wished he was like the doctors he saw around the hospital, the ones who always seemed to know the right things to say to the women they met. He’d tried to come up with a few lines, but they’d all sounded stupid. Honestly, he was much better with numbers than with people. But if things were different…
    “Hi.”
    Startled, Everett dropped his book as he looked up. Nancy Allen stood by his table.
    “Uh, hi.”
    She smiled and indicated to the empty chair across from his. “May I?”
    “Um, sure.”
    She sat down and looked at him. “Do you work at the hospital or at Children’s Connection next door? I’ve seen you around here.”
    He stared at her, at the way her hazel eyes were bright with humor, at her full mouth and the way it curved, at the shine of her hair as she moved her head. God, she was so beautiful. Perfect. And she’d just asked him a question.
    “Wh-what?”
    She smiled and leaned close. “Okay, so here’s the thing. You’re supposed to tell me that you’ve noticed me, too, or I’m going to feel really stupid.”
    “Oh. Sorry. Sure. Of course I’ve noticed you.”
    Color stained her cheeks. She ducked her head, then smiled at him from under her lashes. “I’m glad. Because coming over here and talking to you has pretty much taken all the courage I have, and if you’d blown me off…”
    “I would never do that. I think you’re great.”
    Now it was his turn to be embarrassed. He couldn’t believe that this was happening. That she was sitting here, talking to him.
    Silence stretched between them and he desperately tried to think of something to say. Anything. He wanted to