laughed, too. I was being pleasant, making amends. I hoped he would see no more in it than that. I hoped there was no more in it than that.
• • •
During the next few days, Matthew de la Roche was hardly ever out of my sight. It seemed that I had ridden out hawking as an unattached young widow and come back with a suitor. I didn’t want a suitor, or so I told myself, but I let him dance with me that same day because I wanted to dance. After that I could not have got rid of him without being rude and I didn’t want to do that either.
It was quickly obvious that he was behaving towards me as Dudley was behaving towards the queen. He was always there. We danced together; he rode out with me. He invited me to watch him play tennis or practise tilting. He did both very well and I knew that he was proud of his skill and enjoying showing it off to me.
When, with others of the court, I accompanied the queen out walking, I found him at my elbow. He was at my elbow the following Sunday when the public were admitted to the Presence Chamber to see the queen pass on her way to the chapel. He seemed to like me in the same way that Gerald had, because he thought my dark hair and pointed face attractive and because the edge on my tongue was to him exciting instead of objectionable.
In so many ways, our minds were in accord and I was drawn to him physically. Before long I knew that it was like the attraction of a cliff edge, for I was not only fascinated but also afraid, and I wasn’t alone in my doubts. The day came when I was called to Kat Ashley’s room. Lady Katherine Knollys was there too. They looked at me anxiously.
“Ursula, my dear.” Mistress Ashley patted the window seat beside her.
Sensing that some serious matter was about to be raised, and not knowing what it was, I remained standing. “Yes, Mistress Ashley?”
“This is so difficult. We are only concerned with your welfare. But even the queen has noticed that Arundel’s guest, Matthew de la Roche, is very much in your company. We understand that he is a widower. Does he have serious intentions towards you?”
“I don’t know, Mistress Ashley.” Kat Ashley always made me uneasy. She took the same avid interest in matters of love and marriage, as any village woman whose favourite occupation was gossiping round the wellhead.
“There is nothing against him as far as anyone knows, but no one seems to know a great deal.” Lady Katherine, who had also remained standing, spoke seriously. “However, I must tell you, Ursula, that the queen is very much opposed to any sign of scandal among her ladies.”
Alarmed, I said, “Has the queen actually . . . ?”
“Expressed concern? Yes, she has, although she has not criticised your behaviour. You have done nothing yet to give rise to scandal, but you must be careful. I should also,” said Lady Katherine, “be careful in another sense. It may not be against the law to have Catholic sympathies—if it were, half the council would be in the Tower; Henry FitzAlan of Arundel and Edward Earl of Derby for example!—but all the same, de la Roche was brought up in France and presumably in that faith. It is a point you should consider before . . . taking any final decision.”
I nodded. Matthew had told me about himself. I was aware that he was a widower, and I knew that the young wife who had died in childbed had been French. I also knew that both he and she were Catholic. I had been very silent when I heard that. “I will be careful,” I said.
“I was sure you would be sensible,” said Lady Katherine. “The queen is impressed with you, you know, Ursula.”
The summons from the queen came the next day.
• • •
Elizabeth had been shut away all morning. Kat Ashley was with her but all the rest of us were out of doors, taking advantage of the bright light to get on with various kinds of stitchwork. I was making a pair of white silk sleeves with silver leaves embroidered on them. It was cheaper than buying
• • •
During the next few days, Matthew de la Roche was hardly ever out of my sight. It seemed that I had ridden out hawking as an unattached young widow and come back with a suitor. I didn’t want a suitor, or so I told myself, but I let him dance with me that same day because I wanted to dance. After that I could not have got rid of him without being rude and I didn’t want to do that either.
It was quickly obvious that he was behaving towards me as Dudley was behaving towards the queen. He was always there. We danced together; he rode out with me. He invited me to watch him play tennis or practise tilting. He did both very well and I knew that he was proud of his skill and enjoying showing it off to me.
When, with others of the court, I accompanied the queen out walking, I found him at my elbow. He was at my elbow the following Sunday when the public were admitted to the Presence Chamber to see the queen pass on her way to the chapel. He seemed to like me in the same way that Gerald had, because he thought my dark hair and pointed face attractive and because the edge on my tongue was to him exciting instead of objectionable.
In so many ways, our minds were in accord and I was drawn to him physically. Before long I knew that it was like the attraction of a cliff edge, for I was not only fascinated but also afraid, and I wasn’t alone in my doubts. The day came when I was called to Kat Ashley’s room. Lady Katherine Knollys was there too. They looked at me anxiously.
“Ursula, my dear.” Mistress Ashley patted the window seat beside her.
Sensing that some serious matter was about to be raised, and not knowing what it was, I remained standing. “Yes, Mistress Ashley?”
“This is so difficult. We are only concerned with your welfare. But even the queen has noticed that Arundel’s guest, Matthew de la Roche, is very much in your company. We understand that he is a widower. Does he have serious intentions towards you?”
“I don’t know, Mistress Ashley.” Kat Ashley always made me uneasy. She took the same avid interest in matters of love and marriage, as any village woman whose favourite occupation was gossiping round the wellhead.
“There is nothing against him as far as anyone knows, but no one seems to know a great deal.” Lady Katherine, who had also remained standing, spoke seriously. “However, I must tell you, Ursula, that the queen is very much opposed to any sign of scandal among her ladies.”
Alarmed, I said, “Has the queen actually . . . ?”
“Expressed concern? Yes, she has, although she has not criticised your behaviour. You have done nothing yet to give rise to scandal, but you must be careful. I should also,” said Lady Katherine, “be careful in another sense. It may not be against the law to have Catholic sympathies—if it were, half the council would be in the Tower; Henry FitzAlan of Arundel and Edward Earl of Derby for example!—but all the same, de la Roche was brought up in France and presumably in that faith. It is a point you should consider before . . . taking any final decision.”
I nodded. Matthew had told me about himself. I was aware that he was a widower, and I knew that the young wife who had died in childbed had been French. I also knew that both he and she were Catholic. I had been very silent when I heard that. “I will be careful,” I said.
“I was sure you would be sensible,” said Lady Katherine. “The queen is impressed with you, you know, Ursula.”
The summons from the queen came the next day.
• • •
Elizabeth had been shut away all morning. Kat Ashley was with her but all the rest of us were out of doors, taking advantage of the bright light to get on with various kinds of stitchwork. I was making a pair of white silk sleeves with silver leaves embroidered on them. It was cheaper than buying
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