he wasn’t joking. Louie turned and began opening Tony’s cupboards one by one. “Cereal. Soup. Instant coffee. Jesus, don’t you even got any chips or nothin’?”
Tony’s blush deepened. Being a large healthy 19-year-old on a college student’s diet, the chips and pretzels he had bought last week were long gone.
Jimmy frowned. “Tony – didn’t you say you were going to buy the chips and beer? I coulda swore that’s what you said when we talked last night.”
Tony backpedaled, trying to explain. “But I didn’t think you really... I mean, I thought you guys would just...” Tony pointed toward the couch. “You know—”
Jimmy held up a hand, cutting Tony short. “Tony, come here,” he said beckoning as he walked toward the couch. When Tony drew near, Jimmy put his arm around Tony’s shoulder, guiding him to turn his back on the others, so they could speak confidentially.
In a harsh whisper Jimmy said, “Tony – what the hell are you doing? You’re killing me here. No food? No beer? Where’s all the cards and poker chips?”
“But Jimmy,” Tony protested, “I thought that was just stuff we said on the phone. I figured you guys would go out, you know, the back door just as soon as you got here. You know, like you did last time.”
Jimmy sighed. “Tony, Tony, Tony. I forget that you’re still new at this. Sometimes when we come over to play poker, it’s just to play freakin’ poker, capisce ? We’re gonna be doing this every week, remember? What we’re doing is what you call establishing a pattern – you follow me?” Jimmy shook his head. “I guess I should have explained this better. Anyway, we gotta take care of this right now. That guy Louie – you know why they call him Louie the Leg?”
Tony shook his head.
“Because the guy drinks like he’s got a goddamn hollow leg. You never seen a guy that can drink like this. And the thing is, he keeps his shit together. I’ve never seen him so drunk that he couldn’t drive a car, or...” Jimmy paused. “Or use a shotgun. The only time this guys loses it is when he doesn’t have enough to drink. So you gotta get on this, okay?” Tony nodded eagerly.
“Okay,” Jimmy said. “Now I’ll calm him down, but you need to get your ass downstairs ASAP and buy some freakin’ beer, you got me?” Again Tony nodded.
Jimmy looked him up and down. “Tony, you’re what – eighteen, nineteen?”
“I’m nineteen. Nineteen and a half, really,” Tony said, immediately feeling like an idiot. Nine-year-olds said shit like that, not nineteen-year-olds.
“Yeah, whatever,” Jimmy said, making Tony feel even more childish. “The question is, can you buy beer? Or do I need to send Eric?”
That was too humiliating a prospect to even consider. Tony indignantly said, “Of course I can buy beer. It’s not a problem.”
Jimmy slapped him on the back, saying, “That’s what I wanted to hear. I don’t like problems, Tony. I like solutions.”
Tony didn’t like the way that sounded, but Jimmy was guiding him around again, to face the others.
“Listen, boys,” Jimmy said. “Tony here is a college boy, like I was telling you. And today he had a big, uh, astronomy exam, didn’t you, Tony?”
Tony wasn’t enrolled in any astronomy courses, but he wasn’t stupid. Well, that could be argued, he thought. But he nodded vigorously, saying, “Yeah, Uncle Jimmy. That astronomy test was a bitch. Really kicked my ass.”
Jimmy nodded approvingly. He said, “So the upshot is Tony got so beat up in class today that he forgot to stop at the store. But he’s gonna run out right now and grab us some beers, and some chips and shit. So everybody relax, and he’ll be back in what – five minutes?” Jimmy looked at Tony expectantly.
“Yeah, sure,” said Tony. “Five minutes. No problem. You guys make yourselves comfortable, and I’ll be right back.”
Tony grabbed his coat and hurried toward the door, which Eric was already unlocking. As
Tony’s blush deepened. Being a large healthy 19-year-old on a college student’s diet, the chips and pretzels he had bought last week were long gone.
Jimmy frowned. “Tony – didn’t you say you were going to buy the chips and beer? I coulda swore that’s what you said when we talked last night.”
Tony backpedaled, trying to explain. “But I didn’t think you really... I mean, I thought you guys would just...” Tony pointed toward the couch. “You know—”
Jimmy held up a hand, cutting Tony short. “Tony, come here,” he said beckoning as he walked toward the couch. When Tony drew near, Jimmy put his arm around Tony’s shoulder, guiding him to turn his back on the others, so they could speak confidentially.
In a harsh whisper Jimmy said, “Tony – what the hell are you doing? You’re killing me here. No food? No beer? Where’s all the cards and poker chips?”
“But Jimmy,” Tony protested, “I thought that was just stuff we said on the phone. I figured you guys would go out, you know, the back door just as soon as you got here. You know, like you did last time.”
Jimmy sighed. “Tony, Tony, Tony. I forget that you’re still new at this. Sometimes when we come over to play poker, it’s just to play freakin’ poker, capisce ? We’re gonna be doing this every week, remember? What we’re doing is what you call establishing a pattern – you follow me?” Jimmy shook his head. “I guess I should have explained this better. Anyway, we gotta take care of this right now. That guy Louie – you know why they call him Louie the Leg?”
Tony shook his head.
“Because the guy drinks like he’s got a goddamn hollow leg. You never seen a guy that can drink like this. And the thing is, he keeps his shit together. I’ve never seen him so drunk that he couldn’t drive a car, or...” Jimmy paused. “Or use a shotgun. The only time this guys loses it is when he doesn’t have enough to drink. So you gotta get on this, okay?” Tony nodded eagerly.
“Okay,” Jimmy said. “Now I’ll calm him down, but you need to get your ass downstairs ASAP and buy some freakin’ beer, you got me?” Again Tony nodded.
Jimmy looked him up and down. “Tony, you’re what – eighteen, nineteen?”
“I’m nineteen. Nineteen and a half, really,” Tony said, immediately feeling like an idiot. Nine-year-olds said shit like that, not nineteen-year-olds.
“Yeah, whatever,” Jimmy said, making Tony feel even more childish. “The question is, can you buy beer? Or do I need to send Eric?”
That was too humiliating a prospect to even consider. Tony indignantly said, “Of course I can buy beer. It’s not a problem.”
Jimmy slapped him on the back, saying, “That’s what I wanted to hear. I don’t like problems, Tony. I like solutions.”
Tony didn’t like the way that sounded, but Jimmy was guiding him around again, to face the others.
“Listen, boys,” Jimmy said. “Tony here is a college boy, like I was telling you. And today he had a big, uh, astronomy exam, didn’t you, Tony?”
Tony wasn’t enrolled in any astronomy courses, but he wasn’t stupid. Well, that could be argued, he thought. But he nodded vigorously, saying, “Yeah, Uncle Jimmy. That astronomy test was a bitch. Really kicked my ass.”
Jimmy nodded approvingly. He said, “So the upshot is Tony got so beat up in class today that he forgot to stop at the store. But he’s gonna run out right now and grab us some beers, and some chips and shit. So everybody relax, and he’ll be back in what – five minutes?” Jimmy looked at Tony expectantly.
“Yeah, sure,” said Tony. “Five minutes. No problem. You guys make yourselves comfortable, and I’ll be right back.”
Tony grabbed his coat and hurried toward the door, which Eric was already unlocking. As
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