Too Hot Four Hula: 4 (The Tiki Goddess Mystery Series) by Jill Marie Landis

Screams and splashing sounds drifted from the nearby keiki pool. Kiki turned to Pat who was carrying their boom box in a black duffle.
    “Did you put in fresh batteries and bring extras in case there’s no outlet nearby?” Kiki asked.
    Pat’s hand shot to her temple. She saluted. “Roger, that.”
    “Microphone?”
    “Affirmative.”
    The Maidens spread out. This wasn’t their first rodeo. They knew what to do. They hovered in pairs close to various tables until one was vacated by a young couple clearly on their honeymoon—if the way they were groping each other after a couple of rum drinks was any indication.
    Trish, closest to the table, whistled and waved, and the Maidens stampeded over to surround the small table like African wildlife crowded around the last watering hole in the veld.
    Flora came lumbering up and gasped, “We need to order.”
    “We need to order now .” Suzi checked her watch. “Only twenty minutes of happy hour left.”
    Trish waved Flora into one of the two open chairs. “Sit before you collapse.”
    Flora sat. She took a swig out of a plastic Menehune Water bottle that everyone knew contained something a lot stronger than the brand’s water. Precious climbed up onto the other free chair. Kiki, Lillian, and Big Estelle flanked them. Lillian looked around furtively, afraid one of Mindy’s Miracle Cream women would recognize her. Little Estelle had parked her scooter beside a table where two muscular young black men with buzz cuts and gold chains tried hard to ignore her stare. A waiter in a blue aloha shirt with hula dancers cavorting across the fabric took their orders.
    “I’ll have two,” Kiki added.
    “Sorry, we can’t stack drinks,” the waiter said.
    “The first one won’t last long,” she told him.
    “Sorry, Auntie. We don’t want to get busted by the alcohol commissioner.”
    Across the way, Little Estelle suddenly laughed uproariously, farted, and tooted her horn.
    “Service men, you say?” She cackled. “Perfect. You can service me.”
    Trish leaned in and said to Kiki, “She’s doing that all the time now.”
    “She always goes for the young ones. Those boys are probably from one of the military bases.”
    “No, not the pick-up thing. The farting. She tries to cover it up by tooting her horn.”
    Pat hurried over to join them. “I found a plug, but it’s too far away. I’m going with batteries.”
    Lillian scanned the crowded lanai at the edge of the sand. “Where are we supposed to dance?”
    “There’s no stage. There’s not even a clear spot where we can line up,” Big Estelle added.
    “How about the beach walk?” A wide sidewalk on the other side of a low wall separated the hotel and bar area from the sand.
    “Everyone spread out and find a place to dance between the tables. Right up close and personal with the audience. Try not to knock over anyone’s drink,” Kiki said.
    “Just like we did that time on Moloka’i,” Suzi added.
    “I didn’t go to Moloka’i,” Lil whined. “Who can I follow if I’m not in line?”
    Flora said, “Don’t follow nobody. You should know your dances by now.”
    “I do, but I forget them when I get nervous.”
    Precious tugged on Kiki’s arm. “What about me? No one will see me if we’re all spread out between tables.”
    Pat reached down, picked Precious up, and stood her on the chair.
    “There,” Pat said. “Don’t fall off.”
    “Let’s do this,” Kiki said.
    Suzi hesitated. “Is anyone going to introduce us? We haven’t even been greeted by the bar manager or anyone.”
    “We don’t need an introduction,” Kiki said. “Look around. Everyone’s staring at us in expectation. Everyone who isn’t watching Little Estelle paw that guy’s muscles, that is.”
    “What about an MC at least?” Suzi suggested.
    Kiki countered, “That’s what Pat’s for.”
    Pat had the boom box balanced on the chair Flora vacated. A little boy walked by dripping water in his wake. He looked up at his