Torched by April Henry

thing was that Coyote was next to me. I wondered if he felt how my whole body trembled. Of the other people at the table, Hawk, Liberty and Meadow seemed openly hostile. Blue, on the other hand, gave me a thumbs-up when we first met in the parking lot. Even Jack Rabbit and Seed had smiled at me, although a little furtively. It was harder to tell what Grizz was thinking. And with Cedar, it was impossible. I wondered if he ever smiled.
    I noticed Cedar hadn’t used the word MED. Probably playing it safe. Before we sat down, he had asked Liberty to frisk me. She hadn’t held anything back, either, her red dreads brushing against me as she ran her hands firmly down my legs and then up again, under my long denim skirt. The park was the kind of place where even frisking someone didn’t draw any attention.
    I took a deep breath. If I could convince Cedar, then the others would fall in line. “If we don’t act now, it will be too late to save the Earth. It’s going to take more than recycling newspapers and reusing plastic bags. I want to be part of a group that’s actually doing something real.” Although my voice was confident, under the table my legs wouldn’t stop shaking. I prayed that no one else noticed.
    “This isn’t a social club, you know,” Liberty said. Her lips thinned down to a line. “It’s a serious group. It’s not all filled with—with cheerleaders.” She spit out the word.
    I got a quick vision of her in whatever high school she went to, dissed by the popular kids. Liberty must be way on the outer edge if she thought anyone would mistake me for a cheerleader. I gave her my best cold stare. “You heard what my parents said. I’ve been around protests all my life.”
    “This is more than protests.” Meadow shook her head. “And this isn’t like joining a book club or the Girl Scouts.”
    “Hey, I’m just as serious about this as you are,” I objected. Serious as a heart attack.
    “Probably more serious. She’s not rebelling against her parents,” Coyote said. “She’s not just doing this to get a rise out of somebody.”
    His words had seemed aimed at Meadow, but it was Liberty whose cheeks turned the color of her hair. “She can’t just say she wants to be a member and waltz right in,” she said.
    I sighed loudly. I was tired of people telling me what I couldn’t do. “Fine. What do I need to do?”
    Grizz shifted in his seat and said, “Look, Ellie, okay, you have to prove yourself? Same as the rest of us?”
    It was hard to tell behind his huge beard, but his expression seemed friendly. Looking at him, I started to feel like I might actually be able to carry this thing off. “How do I do that?”
    Hawk said, “You have to pick a target, do an action by yourself and get away without being caught.” With his big, bulging eyes set in his bony face, he reminded me of some kind of insect. “You have to prove you are committed.”
    By myself ? I had thought if I had to do anything, it would be as part of the group, not acting on my own. I bit the inside of my cheek. It’s for Matt, I reminded myself.
    “If that’s what I need to do, I’ll do it.” I tried to keep my voice steady.
    “Are you sure?” Blue asked from the far side of the table. Her blue eyes were gentle. “Because it’s fine to be a supporter. Not everyone can get involved at the same level.”
    “I’m sure,” I said. “This is something I believe in. If we don’t act now, the Earth will die.”
    Cedar looked at me thoughtfully for a long moment, then nodded his approval. And almost as an aside he added, “Oh, and you’ll need to bring us proof.”
     
    “To be honest, Cedar kind of scares me,” I whispered to Coyote. We were sitting in the back of a nearly empty TriMet bus, going home after the meeting. “Does he ever smile?”
    Coyote shot me a sideways grin. “And risk damaging his reputation?” Then he turned serious. “Cedar has been at this longer than any of us, and he has more to lose.