Torn (Demon Kissed #3) by H.M. Ward Page B

do that for? You had your beast drag me here, so you can attack me!”   I shoved him again, but this time when my hands collided with his chest, Collin’s fingers quickly wrapped around my wrists.
    He jerked me toward him, and held me in his arms. I struggled to pull away, but stopped when I felt his confusion through the bond. Collin breathed in deeply, as if he couldn’t catch my scent otherwise. “Ivy.” It was like he just recognized me, but wasn’t certain that it was really me. His eyes were strange, hazy like he was in a mental fog. Collin slowly pulled me into a hug, and pressed his cheek to the top of my head. When he released me, I staggered back in alarm. Something was definitely wrong. It was worse than before. Before he tried to convince me that Kreturus wasn’t inside of him, and that I didn’t see what I thought I saw. There was no way he would ever convince me of that. But now he wasn’t acting like that any longer. I wasn’t even sure if he knew where he was. He seemed so out of it.
    Concern and suspicion mixed as I asked, “Collin? What happened?”
    He shrugged. “Not sure. Everything is blurred. My memories are messed up.” He looked at me, confused. “Some are like a dream—or a nightmare. You died. I saw you die in front of me. A fang from the Guardian slashed through your chest. I tried to reach you in time, but I didn’t. You weren’t yourself. You were screaming at me, and I couldn’t save you.” His eyes were glassy and his expression became increasingly vacant as he spoke, “It didn’t matter what I did or what I said, you wouldn’t let me near you. You were terrified of me.” Collin’s arms had folded tightly to his body. He didn’t have his normal confident stance. He stood like a man shattered.
    The need to comfort him consumed me. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him it was all right, but I couldn’t. His behavior was too suspicious. Was this a ploy? Was Kreturus controlling him or was this Collin speaking to me? There was no way to know. I should have turned around and walked away. I shouldn’t have listened to his words. But I did. It was one of those times where I knew I was doing something wrong, something that would screw me later, but I did it anyway. Compassion is a bitch.
    Swallowing hard, I pushed back my suspicion, and said, “Those things did happen. But I didn’t die.” I reached to touch his shoulder, but withdrew my hand at the last second.
    He looked up at me with desperation in his eyes. The expression was haunted. “After everything I did, I lost her. I tried to save her. I tried to stop the prophecy. I tried to keep her safe. But, I lost her anyway. And in the end…I was the one who killed her.” Glassy eyes overflowed with tears as he stared vacantly ahead. The pain in his voice was too great. Suddenly it didn’t matter to me if he had an ancient demon inside of him, or not. He needed me. He was Collin, completely and utterly in that second. The emotions flowing through the bond revealed everything he said and more. He took the blame for my death. He thought he was the reason I’d died.
    Without hesitation, I reached for him. My hand rested gently on his cheek, as I turned his face to look at me. “I’m right here. It’s all right, Collin. I’m alive.” But his expression didn’t change. It was like he locked down his mind to not accept what his eyes were seeing. I took his hand in my mine and pressed his fingers to my heart. “See? My heart’s still beating. I’m alive. You didn’t kill me.”
    At first nothing changed. He stared at me with haunted horror, like I was an aberration of his mind messing with him. I kept my hand over his with my heart racing under his touch. His deep blue eyes were locked with mine, and I could see him slowly accepting what his senses were telling him—I was alive. Shock had buried him so deeply in grief that it took him a bit to dig his way out. I stood in front him, silently waiting for