Trafficked: The Terrifying True Story of a British Girl Forced into the Sex Trade by Sophie Hayes

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    â€˜I don’t care that you didn’t come,’ he would say. ‘I don’t even care if you’re never going to come. But I can’t bear it if you don’t talk to me. Please, Sophie, just pick up the phone and speak to me. I won’t try to make you change your mind. You know I won’t do that. But I love you and I just want to hear your voice.’
    There were many, many times when I came close to snatching up the phone and telling Erion I was sorry andthat I was going to book a seat on the next flight to Albania. Anything would have been better than having to listen to his bewildered unhappiness. But, somehow, something always stopped me from taking that step towards what I saw as an irrevocable commitment.
    There were many times, too, when I sobbed to my mother, ‘I can’t do this. I simply can’t hurt him like this.’ And she would tell me, ‘But you are going to hurt him, whatever happens. How can you be together? Do you not understand what that would involve? How can you make it work? You’d just be giving him false hope, which is far worse than no hope at all.’ I knew she was right, so I cut him off without any explanation. I know I’ll have to live with that guilt and with all the ‘what-ifs’ for the rest of my life.
    The one light in all the darkness was that I still had my best friend to talk to. Kas had been phoning me regularly since I told him I’d had to have an operation and, as a consequence, wasn’t going to go to Albania and marry Erion after all. He had been sympathetic and quick to assure me I’d made the right decision. And then, one day a few months later, he phoned me and said, ‘I know how close you are to your mother, but I think you need a break from everything and everyone, even your family. You need to get away for a couple of days and forget about it all. I’m going to be in Spain next week, so why don’t you come out and join me? Just have a weekend with no worries or stress.’
    I knew that my mother – and all the other family members and friends who loved me – wanted what was best for me, but suddenly I realised just how much I needed to get away from my ‘normal’ life, even if only for just a few hours.
    â€˜I’ll come,’ I told Kas, and I was touched by how pleased he sounded as he said, quietly, ‘That’s great, Sophie. Book your flight and I’ll pick you up at the airport.’
    The two days I spent in Spain were better than I could possibly have imagined. It was like having been out at sea on a little boat during a terrible storm and then suddenly finding yourself safe and protected in the calm, still waters of a harbour. Kas made all the decisions and took care of everything, so that I didn’t have to think at all. Although he was only a year or two older than me, I felt like a child in comparison. He was effortlessly charming, confident and in control; he knew exactly what he wanted in every situation and it seemed to me that there was nothing he wouldn’t be able to do if he set his mind to it.
    We had an amazing time together in Spain: we walked by the sea and skimmed stones across the waves, and then we sat on the beach and talked. And later, when we were standing on the promenade listening to a jazz band, Kas suddenly lifted me up into his arms and waltzed with me into the middle of the street while everyone around us laughed and applauded, their eyes misty with their own romantic memories. Then, at night, with our shoulders touching, we sat in perfect harmony, watching thestars and talking as though we’d known each other forever.
    Kas told me about his studies, the languages he spoke and his plans and dreams for the future, while I thought how wonderful it must be to be as comfortable in your own skin as he clearly was. And, despite everything, I wondered what it would be like to live for the rest of my life with a man