Trained To Kill by Emily Duncan Page B

sofa,
preferring to either sit in the club chair next to him or
prowl.
    “ It was nice. I liked the
city a lot. Better than New York in fact.”
    “ Are you thinking of
moving to be closer to your father?”
    “ Not actively, but it’s in
the back of my mind.”
    “ Well if you do, and want
a recommendation for a therapist, let me know. I know some good
ones in London.”
    Isa nodded, and began bouncing her
knee.
    “ How was it with your
father?”
    Isa sat back in her chair forcing her
knee to subside, “It was…quiet. I didn’t see him much but I
expected that.”
    “ And? Did you talk to him
about what we discussed?”
    Isa looked away for those prying eyes
wincing, “Not exactly.”
    “ Isa,” Dr. Jannsen sighed.
She exasperated him sometimes, she knew. “How do you expect to get
through it if you don’t talk to him about it? You said yourself, if
he hadn’t left you and your mother, you would never have been raped
by your stepfather. You would never have been abused or nearly
killed.” He paused to watch her reaction. “You said you feel anger
toward him for that. How can you expect to let go of your anger
toward him if you never talk to him about it? Get his side of the
story?”
    “ I know. I just couldn’t
do it. He’s just so… conservative and….British. We barely even talk
about my mother, how am I supposed to bring up the fact that Thorn
raped me and pimped me out to his business partners?” she got up
and began pacing; she couldn’t sit still any longer. “You try
saying that to a 47-year-old, British, Barrister’s face and then
we’ll talk about how I’m a coward.”
    “ I didn’t say you were a
coward.”
    “ Well I am,” she stood by
the window staring at the colorful pansies in the flowerbox. “I
almost did. We were at the same restaurant where we always met. I
was going to tell him, so of course I had too much wine. I brought
up my mother and started to ask him why he had left, but he
interrupted me and started asking me about marriage and children
and how he knew a nice young man in his office that would be
adequate for me.” Isa turned around with a smirk, “Adequate. That
was the exact word he used,” she continued her pacing. “I couldn’t
bring it up again.”
    “ Does he want you to move
to London?”
    “ He danced around it. He
didn’t actually say it.”
    “ Ok, so your father has
issues. So do you. So do I. It’s human nature. You have to get
around those issues and talk openly to him, or it will never get
resolved. Even if he doesn’t talk back, at least you know you told
him and that you tried to communicate with him.”
    Isa was silent, and Jannsen watched
her pace for a moment before changing the subject. He knew once she
stopped talking she was done with that subject and no amount of
pushing would budge her. “Did you meet this adequate
lawyer?”
    “ What?” Isa stopped
mid-stride and stared at him. He stared back, searching her eyes.
Sometimes she made him react oddly and he couldn’t quite place his
finger on why. It wasn’t fear exactly. More like a wariness. There
was something else there today too. Something hidden. “Did you meet
him?”
    “ No,” Isa gave a derisive
snort.
    “ Why not? You never talk
about dating Isa.”
    “ Because I have other
things to do besides date.”
    “ Or have sex, or let
anyone close to you.”
    Isa heaved a sigh and sat back down.
“You know sometimes I forget that you’re an actual
therapist.”
    “ Thank you?”
    “ Sex isn’t on my agenda.
You know why.”
    “ Rape isn’t sex, Isa. What
happened to you isn’t anything remotely like sex, we’ve gone
through this. I guarantee you’ll like it.”
    “ I’ve had sex since
then.”
    “ Being too drunk to
remember doesn’t count.”
    Wincing, Isa shifted uncomfortably in
her chair, “It was a start.”
    Jannsen tilted his head and regarded
her like an imbecile for a few minutes, then patiently said, “I
want you to go out on an actual date.