again, then smirked. “Vera, on the other hand…”
“She’ll come around.”
I wrapped my arm around him. “Are you sure?”
He nodded. “Each Scout is different. We change based on the experiences we accumulate. But we are also in many ways the same. I know what Vera’s thinking. How she’s reacting to all of this.” A small smile. “She’ll come around.”
He pushed himself into a sitting position and looked down at his knees. Misery rolled off of him as he spoke. “Even in this body, I define myself by The Rest. But…Vera is right—in my ‘mind,’ I’ve already split.”
“Like…fragmentation? What’s that mean, Nick?”
He flexed his jaw, and I could feel that there was so much more, just like I could feel when he decided to keep it to himself.
“She and I…work well as a team, if you can believe it. We've scouted hundreds of planets.” He grabbed my hand, still not lifting his eyes, and traced the palm with his fingertip. “Few had evolved past the—what you would call the amoeba stage of life.”
“And when they have?” I asked, clutching his hand as I, too, sat up. But I knew. “The test, right?”
He nodded.
“If they pass, you leave them alone?”
He nodded, taking my other hand, so we were face to face; he laced his fingers through mine and warmed me with a shot of heat. “But we don’t. Pass the test, I mean,” I whispered.
“You do.”
“Vera doesn't agree,” I said in a small voice.
“She will.”
“But they're on their way already—”
Nick shook his head. “They won’t make it.”
“I don’t want to be a broken record, but how do you know, Nick?”
“Because she sees it, too.” He stroked his thumb over the back of my hand. “She can see the truth about Us. The way things are. We’re too inefficient. We’ve grown too large. We’re slowing down. Stagnating.”
“So…you’re saying we don’t pass the test, but you think Vera will decide you guys shouldn’t take our gold? What would happen if you guys didn’t get any more gold?” I didn’t understand any of this. “Was that why she was crying? Does not getting gold mean that ‘The Rest’ would fragment? I’m not sure what you’re saying.”
He shook his head. “Don’t worry about all that. What I’m saying is I think you pass the test. But I think either way, I’ll win Vera to my side.”
“And she’ll blow the whistle again?”
He nodded. “She’ll call off the summons and I’ll change her mind before we blow our whistles in unison.” He grabbed me and pressed me tightly to his chest.
“That’s when you’ll have to go,” I choked out.
“Let’s not talk about that right now,” he said, stroking my shoulders.
“Can you explain to me what she needs to change her mind about in order to come to the same conclusion you did?” I asked.
“I’m not sure how to. You have to trust me. Vera—she’s been on this planet for as long as I have, but she’s been acting purely as an observer. Now she’s a participant. She can’t do what she wants, she’s feeling things like emotions and pain—”
“And that’s a good thing?”
“It’s essential. Emotion, the way you experience it, is like another sense. It informs every decision you make, no matter how mundane. It helps create memory, stimulates different parts of the brain. I want her to experience as much of it as possible.”
“And you really think this will change her mind.”
“Take it from me,” he said, “the more she experiences being human, she more she’ll see the value in it. Regardless of her feelings on fragmentation.”
I wanted to ask more about it—about fragmentation. I wanted to know how Nick would exist if the rest of his—his people—disappeared. Would it be like a turtle without a shell? Did you have to have the whole to have the parts? I couldn’t stand to think of a universe without Nick in it.
I wrapped my arms more tightly around him. “Tell me more about being human. I want
“She’ll come around.”
I wrapped my arm around him. “Are you sure?”
He nodded. “Each Scout is different. We change based on the experiences we accumulate. But we are also in many ways the same. I know what Vera’s thinking. How she’s reacting to all of this.” A small smile. “She’ll come around.”
He pushed himself into a sitting position and looked down at his knees. Misery rolled off of him as he spoke. “Even in this body, I define myself by The Rest. But…Vera is right—in my ‘mind,’ I’ve already split.”
“Like…fragmentation? What’s that mean, Nick?”
He flexed his jaw, and I could feel that there was so much more, just like I could feel when he decided to keep it to himself.
“She and I…work well as a team, if you can believe it. We've scouted hundreds of planets.” He grabbed my hand, still not lifting his eyes, and traced the palm with his fingertip. “Few had evolved past the—what you would call the amoeba stage of life.”
“And when they have?” I asked, clutching his hand as I, too, sat up. But I knew. “The test, right?”
He nodded.
“If they pass, you leave them alone?”
He nodded, taking my other hand, so we were face to face; he laced his fingers through mine and warmed me with a shot of heat. “But we don’t. Pass the test, I mean,” I whispered.
“You do.”
“Vera doesn't agree,” I said in a small voice.
“She will.”
“But they're on their way already—”
Nick shook his head. “They won’t make it.”
“I don’t want to be a broken record, but how do you know, Nick?”
“Because she sees it, too.” He stroked his thumb over the back of my hand. “She can see the truth about Us. The way things are. We’re too inefficient. We’ve grown too large. We’re slowing down. Stagnating.”
“So…you’re saying we don’t pass the test, but you think Vera will decide you guys shouldn’t take our gold? What would happen if you guys didn’t get any more gold?” I didn’t understand any of this. “Was that why she was crying? Does not getting gold mean that ‘The Rest’ would fragment? I’m not sure what you’re saying.”
He shook his head. “Don’t worry about all that. What I’m saying is I think you pass the test. But I think either way, I’ll win Vera to my side.”
“And she’ll blow the whistle again?”
He nodded. “She’ll call off the summons and I’ll change her mind before we blow our whistles in unison.” He grabbed me and pressed me tightly to his chest.
“That’s when you’ll have to go,” I choked out.
“Let’s not talk about that right now,” he said, stroking my shoulders.
“Can you explain to me what she needs to change her mind about in order to come to the same conclusion you did?” I asked.
“I’m not sure how to. You have to trust me. Vera—she’s been on this planet for as long as I have, but she’s been acting purely as an observer. Now she’s a participant. She can’t do what she wants, she’s feeling things like emotions and pain—”
“And that’s a good thing?”
“It’s essential. Emotion, the way you experience it, is like another sense. It informs every decision you make, no matter how mundane. It helps create memory, stimulates different parts of the brain. I want her to experience as much of it as possible.”
“And you really think this will change her mind.”
“Take it from me,” he said, “the more she experiences being human, she more she’ll see the value in it. Regardless of her feelings on fragmentation.”
I wanted to ask more about it—about fragmentation. I wanted to know how Nick would exist if the rest of his—his people—disappeared. Would it be like a turtle without a shell? Did you have to have the whole to have the parts? I couldn’t stand to think of a universe without Nick in it.
I wrapped my arms more tightly around him. “Tell me more about being human. I want
Similar Books
