to hear something good.”
“Being human.” He whistled, then smiled down at me. I loosened my grip on him and smiled back. “Did I finally stump you?”
He laughed. “Maybe.” He made a show of scratching his head. “Let’s see…Every day it’s different. First, everything was sensory. Light. Sound. Smell. Taste. The feel of things. The vibration of your voice. Then there was movement. The fast sound of a heart in my ears, and the feeling of it thumping inside my chest. The way the earth spun when I moved my feet. The way the wind wove itself around us.” He smiled again. “Then I experienced other things. Humor. Surprise. Anxiety. And most of all desire.”
I blushed at the word, and he ran a finger over my collarbone, making me shiver.
“Nick,” I gasped.
“Yes?” He was up in half a second, detangling himself from me so quickly I had to grab him to keep him in place.
“I'm sorry.” I shivered, clutching his wrists to ensure he didn't leave.
“For what?”
My throat constricted in a weird half-sob. “I'm sorry things haven't been good here. And I'm sorry about...at that place.”
“Milo...Milo. It was my fault—all of it. I’m sorry. So sorry. I should never have gotten you involved.” He kissed my mouth again, firm and sure, and then he drew away, looking down at me with his wavy, auburn hair hanging around his face. I pulled him down, and the weight of his body on mine was thrilling. He ran his hands down my arms, wrists to biceps, and placed a quick, soft kiss on my collarbone.
I closed my hands around his wrists and slid them up his hard forearms. My head spun with my awful craving.
“What would happen to you ?” I whispered. “If you can’t convince Vera? What would happen if you disagreed?”
“It’s not going to come to that.”
“But what if it did? When they arrived, the two of you would have some kind of show-down or something? Would that make you a traitor?”
“Milo, please don't worry about me.”
“I can't help it.” I whispered. I hated the idea of him away from me, light years away, being judged by some…I wasn’t even sure how to imagine it.
He slid his fingers through mine, pressing our palms together. “I’ll be—”
I silenced him with a kiss, a hard kiss that left him breathless. My hands were frantic, smoothing down the sides of his shirt, beneath which his abs were hard and ripped; he pressed down on me, stroking gentle fingers down my belly as I writhed beneath him.
He broke the kiss, breathing hard, and I wrapped my arms around his back as he dropped his head down near my throat. Then he lifted off me, panting hard, and slid out of the sleeping bag. He sat beside me, knees pulled up, staring at the rough, blue fabric of our tent.
My heart boomed in my ears. “Nick— What's wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Ok, seriously, did you not—I mean, was—”
“I like it, Milo, I promise,” he said. “It’s—It’s too much.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re more than I can handle, Milo.”
“But—”
“Milo, please,” he asked, sounding like he just couldn’t handle another word. Another touch.
So I stayed quiet.
MORE THAN I can handle .
I had a lot of time to wonder what that meant. A lot of time during which Nick sat stoically beside me, waiting, I assumed, for me to fall asleep.
There was the obvious meaning—that what we’d been doing was too much—but I worried maybe he meant the whole experience, or the effort to save the planet, or something else bad.
The ‘something else bad’ part opened up another can of worms entirely, and I spent what felt like hours ticking away the seconds in my head. If he couldn’t change Vera’s mind… If he changed her mind, and then they disappeared… When they disappeared…
I think I passed out eventually out of sheer exhaustion, and when I woke up the next morning to sunlight shining through our tent, Nick was holding me. I felt like nothing could go wrong ever again, and I
“Being human.” He whistled, then smiled down at me. I loosened my grip on him and smiled back. “Did I finally stump you?”
He laughed. “Maybe.” He made a show of scratching his head. “Let’s see…Every day it’s different. First, everything was sensory. Light. Sound. Smell. Taste. The feel of things. The vibration of your voice. Then there was movement. The fast sound of a heart in my ears, and the feeling of it thumping inside my chest. The way the earth spun when I moved my feet. The way the wind wove itself around us.” He smiled again. “Then I experienced other things. Humor. Surprise. Anxiety. And most of all desire.”
I blushed at the word, and he ran a finger over my collarbone, making me shiver.
“Nick,” I gasped.
“Yes?” He was up in half a second, detangling himself from me so quickly I had to grab him to keep him in place.
“I'm sorry.” I shivered, clutching his wrists to ensure he didn't leave.
“For what?”
My throat constricted in a weird half-sob. “I'm sorry things haven't been good here. And I'm sorry about...at that place.”
“Milo...Milo. It was my fault—all of it. I’m sorry. So sorry. I should never have gotten you involved.” He kissed my mouth again, firm and sure, and then he drew away, looking down at me with his wavy, auburn hair hanging around his face. I pulled him down, and the weight of his body on mine was thrilling. He ran his hands down my arms, wrists to biceps, and placed a quick, soft kiss on my collarbone.
I closed my hands around his wrists and slid them up his hard forearms. My head spun with my awful craving.
“What would happen to you ?” I whispered. “If you can’t convince Vera? What would happen if you disagreed?”
“It’s not going to come to that.”
“But what if it did? When they arrived, the two of you would have some kind of show-down or something? Would that make you a traitor?”
“Milo, please don't worry about me.”
“I can't help it.” I whispered. I hated the idea of him away from me, light years away, being judged by some…I wasn’t even sure how to imagine it.
He slid his fingers through mine, pressing our palms together. “I’ll be—”
I silenced him with a kiss, a hard kiss that left him breathless. My hands were frantic, smoothing down the sides of his shirt, beneath which his abs were hard and ripped; he pressed down on me, stroking gentle fingers down my belly as I writhed beneath him.
He broke the kiss, breathing hard, and I wrapped my arms around his back as he dropped his head down near my throat. Then he lifted off me, panting hard, and slid out of the sleeping bag. He sat beside me, knees pulled up, staring at the rough, blue fabric of our tent.
My heart boomed in my ears. “Nick— What's wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Ok, seriously, did you not—I mean, was—”
“I like it, Milo, I promise,” he said. “It’s—It’s too much.”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re more than I can handle, Milo.”
“But—”
“Milo, please,” he asked, sounding like he just couldn’t handle another word. Another touch.
So I stayed quiet.
MORE THAN I can handle .
I had a lot of time to wonder what that meant. A lot of time during which Nick sat stoically beside me, waiting, I assumed, for me to fall asleep.
There was the obvious meaning—that what we’d been doing was too much—but I worried maybe he meant the whole experience, or the effort to save the planet, or something else bad.
The ‘something else bad’ part opened up another can of worms entirely, and I spent what felt like hours ticking away the seconds in my head. If he couldn’t change Vera’s mind… If he changed her mind, and then they disappeared… When they disappeared…
I think I passed out eventually out of sheer exhaustion, and when I woke up the next morning to sunlight shining through our tent, Nick was holding me. I felt like nothing could go wrong ever again, and I
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