I was sitting in my bedroom watching a movie when the phone rang. A few minutes later, my mother appeared in the doorway and cleared her throat to get my attention, taking a seat on the end of my bed when I looked up at her.
“You loved this movie when you were a kid,” she said with a soft laugh, nodding at the television, “sometimes you’d watch it on a loop. It drove me nuts.”
She studied my face for a response.
“Yeah,” I said after awhile, keeping my eyes trained on Rudolph’s glowing red nose. She wasn’t usually the nostalgic type. “I remember...”
She started to say something but thought better of it, exhaling a deep breath. I glanced up at her. She looked weird. Like she wanted to say something important but couldn’t muster up the courage, which was rare for her.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her, feeling suddenly uneasy, “you look like you need to barf.”
She shook her head and cleared her throat. “Where’s your sister?” she asked, eyeing Luna’s empty bed. Minx was asleep beneath it.
“She went last minute Christmas shopping with Fiona and Jeff…”
“Oh,” she said softly, rubbing her neck, “right. Any idea when they’ll be back?”
I shook my head and sat up. “I don’t know,” I answered, furrowing my brows. “What’s wrong? You’re starting to freak me out.”
She sighed and wiped the scrunched up piece of Kleenex in her palm over her cheek. “That was the coroners office on the phone,” she whispered, clenching her jaw.
My stomach twisted in a knot and the room spun around me. Her words barely reached my ears. The only sound I could focus on was the soft hum of music from the TV. She reached out to me but I snatched my hand from hers. “What are you saying?” I demanded.
She shook her head. There was a brief lapse of silence while she searched for the right words. “I’m just going to say it,” she spoke up after a few minutes. “There was an accident. Your father drove into incoming traffic on the 518. He was hit by an oncoming semi…”
Her words vibrated in my head long after they were spoken.
“He’s dead,” she said, as though she couldn’t quite wrap her head around it herself. Her lip trembled. “They…they’re going to send the sheriff over to talk to us in the morning…”
Concern radiated off of her. I couldn’t stand it any longer. “No!” I shook my head and jumped to my feet. “You’re lying. He’s fine!”
“Venus…”
She studied me carefully, as though she was expecting me to explode like this. A full minute passed before either one of us moved. A cheerful sequence unfolded on the screen in front of us, clashing against the horrendous reality that had become our lives.
“I’m telling the truth V,” she said, breaking the silence.
I snorted and my eyes began to well with tears but I clenched my jaw and pushed them back. “V? You haven’t called me that since I was five.”
She sighed and pulled a pack of menthols from her apron that looked distinctively like my own, pressing one between her lips and lighting it. I only ever saw her smoke a handful of times.
“Just get out!” I demanded, holding open the door for her. “I don’t want to be around you. I want to be alone.”
She nodded and stood up, hesitating in the doorway with her back turned away from me. “I’m going to go call the mall…maybe they can page Jeff…”
“Just go,” I urged, studying my feet. “Please.”
She nodded and stepped out into the hall. I slammed the door after her and locked it, collapsing to the floor as the movie credits began to roll. A framed picture on my bedside table caught my eye. I blinked back my tears and picked it up.
It was of my father and I at the pumpkin patch. I was sitting in his lap with a pumpkin in mine and we were both smiling, his dark eyes sparkling above bright white teeth. I couldn’t have been much older than six when it was taken.
I looked out the window. It was pouring outside.
“You loved this movie when you were a kid,” she said with a soft laugh, nodding at the television, “sometimes you’d watch it on a loop. It drove me nuts.”
She studied my face for a response.
“Yeah,” I said after awhile, keeping my eyes trained on Rudolph’s glowing red nose. She wasn’t usually the nostalgic type. “I remember...”
She started to say something but thought better of it, exhaling a deep breath. I glanced up at her. She looked weird. Like she wanted to say something important but couldn’t muster up the courage, which was rare for her.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her, feeling suddenly uneasy, “you look like you need to barf.”
She shook her head and cleared her throat. “Where’s your sister?” she asked, eyeing Luna’s empty bed. Minx was asleep beneath it.
“She went last minute Christmas shopping with Fiona and Jeff…”
“Oh,” she said softly, rubbing her neck, “right. Any idea when they’ll be back?”
I shook my head and sat up. “I don’t know,” I answered, furrowing my brows. “What’s wrong? You’re starting to freak me out.”
She sighed and wiped the scrunched up piece of Kleenex in her palm over her cheek. “That was the coroners office on the phone,” she whispered, clenching her jaw.
My stomach twisted in a knot and the room spun around me. Her words barely reached my ears. The only sound I could focus on was the soft hum of music from the TV. She reached out to me but I snatched my hand from hers. “What are you saying?” I demanded.
She shook her head. There was a brief lapse of silence while she searched for the right words. “I’m just going to say it,” she spoke up after a few minutes. “There was an accident. Your father drove into incoming traffic on the 518. He was hit by an oncoming semi…”
Her words vibrated in my head long after they were spoken.
“He’s dead,” she said, as though she couldn’t quite wrap her head around it herself. Her lip trembled. “They…they’re going to send the sheriff over to talk to us in the morning…”
Concern radiated off of her. I couldn’t stand it any longer. “No!” I shook my head and jumped to my feet. “You’re lying. He’s fine!”
“Venus…”
She studied me carefully, as though she was expecting me to explode like this. A full minute passed before either one of us moved. A cheerful sequence unfolded on the screen in front of us, clashing against the horrendous reality that had become our lives.
“I’m telling the truth V,” she said, breaking the silence.
I snorted and my eyes began to well with tears but I clenched my jaw and pushed them back. “V? You haven’t called me that since I was five.”
She sighed and pulled a pack of menthols from her apron that looked distinctively like my own, pressing one between her lips and lighting it. I only ever saw her smoke a handful of times.
“Just get out!” I demanded, holding open the door for her. “I don’t want to be around you. I want to be alone.”
She nodded and stood up, hesitating in the doorway with her back turned away from me. “I’m going to go call the mall…maybe they can page Jeff…”
“Just go,” I urged, studying my feet. “Please.”
She nodded and stepped out into the hall. I slammed the door after her and locked it, collapsing to the floor as the movie credits began to roll. A framed picture on my bedside table caught my eye. I blinked back my tears and picked it up.
It was of my father and I at the pumpkin patch. I was sitting in his lap with a pumpkin in mine and we were both smiling, his dark eyes sparkling above bright white teeth. I couldn’t have been much older than six when it was taken.
I looked out the window. It was pouring outside.
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