True North by Allie Juliette Mousseau

blanket down just enough to uncover one eye that I squinted open carefully. “Really?”
    Jules nodded animatedly.
    I thought about it for a minute, but my brain was too weak yet for gymnastics. “Where is everyone now?” By everyone I really meant Jake.
    “ Designated drivers got pretty much everyone home after we went to bed. Nate’s crashed out on the couch, and Jake got up early this morning and took off on his bike. He was probably still legally drunk too,” she said, twisting the blanket in her fingers nervously. “It’s only me and Sam here now. Josh and Caleb went to work.”
    That was good news. Maybe I could sneak out of here before Jake came back. “I think I need to try and sit up and take a shower.”
    “ There are clean towels in your bathroom and some really great body wash and shampoo I picked up at Victoria’s Secret.” She wagged her eyebrows at me. “It’ll make you feel better.”
    “ Sounds great. Can it cure me of this hangover?” I chimed sarcastically.
    “ I’m sure Sam has some hair-of-the-dog prepared.” She bounced back up, and I cheerfully considered first degree murder as she started out the door.
    “ No thanks,” I remarked. I sat up slowly to allow my head to adjust and stretched out my arms.
    “ Okay, I’ll see you when you get done.”
    “ Hey, Jules, you’re on alert, right?”
    “ Of course I am, sugar doll. You’re my hero.”
    I laughed in spite of myself and the circumstances.
    So now everybody thought the little sisters were cool. Good. Guess I’d done something right, even if Jake didn’t think so. I wasn’t going to let it bother me … Anymore.
    I dumped out my bag and found my jeans, black tank top and my zip-up black running jacket and laid them on the bed with my undergarments. I cracked a smile, thinking back to how I’d announced I wasn’t wearing any last night.
    “ What the hell? They’ve all played that stupid game before. I don’t know why Jules and I are the exception to everything!” I muttered aloud. At least I didn’t take off an article of clothing and dance on the table— I’d seen others do it.
    The plush white carpet was soft and thick under my bare feet as I made my way into my bathroom. It was luxurious not to have to share. I glanced to see how awful I looked and came undone.
    A piece of paper was hanging on the mirror, held on by a slice of duct tape. At first I thought it was going to say— jiggle the handle after you flush— or some stupid practical joke like— Hey, Liv! No dropping feminine products into the toilet —I wouldn’t have put it past Sam. But it wasn’t any of those things.
    It was song lyrics. And on the counter was my mp3 player. No, I hadn’t in a drunken stupor written myself a song or listened to my playlist. I turned the mp3 player on, and it was preprogrammed to play the song the lyrics were from—Crossfade’s “Cold.”
    I tentatively put the earbuds in and realized whoever did this must have turned down the volume because I usually had it up pretty high for running. It was set on three.
    I checked the back of the paper, but there was no signature. I flashed back to four years ago when Jake gave me my necklace wrapped in a Seether song.
    I had no doubt who it was from.
    I sat on the edge of the tiled Jacuzzi tub and listened while I followed along with the words. The song was a perfect apology. Was this really how Jake saw himself? As someone who was screwed up with no hope? And this was his plea for forgiveness for being so cold?
    Three minutes and twenty-six seconds later tears were streaming down my face.
     
    After I was showered and dressed I sent a text to Jules—yes from the bathroom—to see if Jake had come back. He hadn’t.
    My other issue? Did I still want to escape or should I stick around and see what happened if he came back?
    Forgiveness was complicated and so was Jake.
    Instead of doing anything, I chose the procrastination-passive-aggressive route and lay back on the bed