secrets
just come flooding out.
“Honestly?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
“Never. He might as well have been a sperm donor.”
I nodded.
“And in case you’re wondering, he definitely wouldn’t have
played tennis with you at the park, built you a princess fort, or let you watch
The Simpsons behind my back.”
I smiled.
“Okay. Maybe he would’ve done that last one, but he wouldn’t
have tucked you in afterwards. And if he did he probably would’ve been drunk or
high on drugs.”
“Drugs?”
“Yeah. Honestly, the guy was fit enough to be your dad, but not
worthy of being your father.”
“And Dawn loved him?”
Carol nodded. “She did. Maybe too much. Or at least, when he
left… Well, I’d never seen her so upset.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I don’t think she ever fully got over it, but I don’t
know. That’s probably unfair for me to say. It’s just speculation.”
“Thanks for telling me anyway.”
“I’m sorry for all the secrets, Kate. I am. It’s just that
there’s never a good time to tell a truth that’s been buried so deep for so
long.”
“So why now?”
Carol pursed her lips. “Well you’re eighteen. So legally you
have a right to know. And Dawn wanted you to know now. She didn’t want it to be
later when you forgot about her and the time you spent together recently. It
meant a lot to her to get to know you. Especially because you’ve become such a
lovely young lady.”
“And a head case.”
She smiled. “But you hide that pretty well.”
“I’m glad I got to get to know her, too.” I shrugged. “Despite
the shitty circumstances that brought us together.”
“Good.” Carol nodded so the waitress would top up her coffee and
waited for her to walk away before turning back to me. “You have nothing but
time to make sense of all this. And I know it’s a lot to deal with, but there’s
one thing I want to make very clear.”
“What’s that?”
“As far as Fred and I are concerned, you’re still our daughter.
Always have been, always will be. We have loved you since before you were born
and every day since, and as long as you want us in your life, we will be there
for you. Because we’re a family. Your family. And I know you didn’t get to
choose us the first time around, but now that you are old enough to choose, I
hope you’ll stick with us. I really do.”
“Thanks,” I said. And I don’t think I’d ever meant the word
more.
Chapter
12: Dawn
Lover #4:
The Wild Card
Back in the day, living a successful life was all about staying
in the safe zone. The average person’s happiness was directly correlated to how
well they were able to follow other people's rules and in other people’s
footsteps.
But life isn’t like that anymore. The most successful people in the
modern world are those that can adapt, evolve, and change. Leaving your comfort
zone isn’t crazy anymore. It’s crazy not to. This goes for business, travel,
knowledge, and even sex.
If you never leave your comfort zone you will become one of
those people no one wants to sit next to at weddings. Because you won’t have
anything interesting to talk about. And if you don’t make an effort to become a
more interesting, less ignorant person, not only will you lousy company for
other people, you’ll be lousy company for yourself.
Therefore, it's never been more important to expose yourself to
different music, books, ideas, places, and people.
Of course, as far as sex goes, I'm not implying you should do
people or things you aren’t comfortable with. Rather, I simply mean that it’s
important to keep an open mind.
And nothing forces you to open your mind like a wild card lover.
What’s a wild card lover?
It’s just someone you never considered before.
For example, I believe that sexual preference is a continuum. On
one side, you have people that are homosexual and have always known they prefer
their own gender. On the other side, you have people that have never had
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