to talk, because I ended up with Ember Gates. We had no say in what name the Mageri assigned us. I tucked the card back in the sleeve.
“Simon and I are nothing more than friends,” I said, fumbling through his wallet.
“Sunny took it all pretty well. You two couldn’t be more opposite. I can see why you get along; she’s a good girl.”
“Are you implying that I’m the bad influence?”
“No comment from the peanut gallery.”
“Justus is being unreasonable. He led me to believe it was a law that we had to sever human ties, but they were his laws, not the Mageri’s. There’s no reason that I can’t spend time with Sunny. I finally have someone I can talk to.”
“Now I’m hurt by that,” Adam said. “You don’t want to share your feelings with me, girlfriend ?”
I flicked my finger on the back of his neck. “Don’t be ridiculous. Anyhow, it’s not the—hey, what’s this?” I pulled a photograph from the inside sleeve of his wallet. It was cut to fit the pocket perfectly. I expected to see a picture of Adam’s sister, instead, my fingers held a picture that once hung in a frame in my apartment. It was an old picture of me sitting on a rug in my bedroom when I was a human.
“Where did you get this?”
“The night we went back to your apartment. It’s a nice picture and I wanted to keep it.”
“Why?”
“It’s you.”
“It was me.”
“That’s the real you, Silver. That’s the girl I found.”
Something snapped. I flicked it into his lap. “You see that picture and you think that’s me?” His eyes fell on the image.
“Keep it,” I said sharply.
He frowned and tucked the picture back in his wallet. “Why are you mad? It’s only a photograph.”
“You’re holding on to a girl who doesn’t exist, someone you never even knew. That’s not who I am, not anymore.” I narrowed my eyes and tapped my chest. “ This is me, Adam. It’s not just about the fact that my brown eyes are now his color, or that I no longer have the same face; I’m different inside. I’ve changed from the girl I once was in that photograph—the one you never knew. You can’t go through the hell I did without changing. You want me to be someone I’m not.” My voice softened. I cared about Adam, but I never completely understood him. “You never accepted me as a Mage, and now I know it.”
“The hell I haven’t.” He touched my hand and I jerked it away. “I’m not a human, Silver. You can’t hurt me anymore.”
“Don’t get emotionally attached, I’m not wired like that. It would only end badly for you.”
He angrily smiled. “Deny you’ve been involved with Simon. I dare you.”
“What I do is my business.”
“Why won’t you trust me and tell me the truth?” His voice rose, demanding an answer. I got out of the chair and stood over him, shaking my head.
“What is this conversation even about? I don’t know what you want from me, why don’t you tell me?”
He fell silent. There it was, neatly folded in my lap. Adam tugged strings of guilt within me, but it was obvious he wasn’t even sure of his own feelings.
“My heart is not a piñata. I don’t give it away freely, and I don’t think you were ever asking for it. I want you as my friend. Why has that never been enough?” I reached down to touch his hair, but he pulled back and stood up, throwing his disapproval at me. He was punishing me for something I couldn’t help.
“You have no right to be mad at me, Adam. I can’t lead you on if you never asked anything of me. I get more mixed signals from you than a traffic light, and I don’t want there to be any tension between us.”
“You should never have kissed me, then.”
Emotions swirled like one of those whirlpools that suck you to the bottom. It upset me to know that I wouldn’t be able to touch him affectionately without him interpreting it the wrong way—that we wouldn’t be able to move past this weirdness between us. I became the bad guy, but he
“Simon and I are nothing more than friends,” I said, fumbling through his wallet.
“Sunny took it all pretty well. You two couldn’t be more opposite. I can see why you get along; she’s a good girl.”
“Are you implying that I’m the bad influence?”
“No comment from the peanut gallery.”
“Justus is being unreasonable. He led me to believe it was a law that we had to sever human ties, but they were his laws, not the Mageri’s. There’s no reason that I can’t spend time with Sunny. I finally have someone I can talk to.”
“Now I’m hurt by that,” Adam said. “You don’t want to share your feelings with me, girlfriend ?”
I flicked my finger on the back of his neck. “Don’t be ridiculous. Anyhow, it’s not the—hey, what’s this?” I pulled a photograph from the inside sleeve of his wallet. It was cut to fit the pocket perfectly. I expected to see a picture of Adam’s sister, instead, my fingers held a picture that once hung in a frame in my apartment. It was an old picture of me sitting on a rug in my bedroom when I was a human.
“Where did you get this?”
“The night we went back to your apartment. It’s a nice picture and I wanted to keep it.”
“Why?”
“It’s you.”
“It was me.”
“That’s the real you, Silver. That’s the girl I found.”
Something snapped. I flicked it into his lap. “You see that picture and you think that’s me?” His eyes fell on the image.
“Keep it,” I said sharply.
He frowned and tucked the picture back in his wallet. “Why are you mad? It’s only a photograph.”
“You’re holding on to a girl who doesn’t exist, someone you never even knew. That’s not who I am, not anymore.” I narrowed my eyes and tapped my chest. “ This is me, Adam. It’s not just about the fact that my brown eyes are now his color, or that I no longer have the same face; I’m different inside. I’ve changed from the girl I once was in that photograph—the one you never knew. You can’t go through the hell I did without changing. You want me to be someone I’m not.” My voice softened. I cared about Adam, but I never completely understood him. “You never accepted me as a Mage, and now I know it.”
“The hell I haven’t.” He touched my hand and I jerked it away. “I’m not a human, Silver. You can’t hurt me anymore.”
“Don’t get emotionally attached, I’m not wired like that. It would only end badly for you.”
He angrily smiled. “Deny you’ve been involved with Simon. I dare you.”
“What I do is my business.”
“Why won’t you trust me and tell me the truth?” His voice rose, demanding an answer. I got out of the chair and stood over him, shaking my head.
“What is this conversation even about? I don’t know what you want from me, why don’t you tell me?”
He fell silent. There it was, neatly folded in my lap. Adam tugged strings of guilt within me, but it was obvious he wasn’t even sure of his own feelings.
“My heart is not a piñata. I don’t give it away freely, and I don’t think you were ever asking for it. I want you as my friend. Why has that never been enough?” I reached down to touch his hair, but he pulled back and stood up, throwing his disapproval at me. He was punishing me for something I couldn’t help.
“You have no right to be mad at me, Adam. I can’t lead you on if you never asked anything of me. I get more mixed signals from you than a traffic light, and I don’t want there to be any tension between us.”
“You should never have kissed me, then.”
Emotions swirled like one of those whirlpools that suck you to the bottom. It upset me to know that I wouldn’t be able to touch him affectionately without him interpreting it the wrong way—that we wouldn’t be able to move past this weirdness between us. I became the bad guy, but he
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