nurse looked up from between Kace’s legs, “She’s full doctor.”
“Push,’ the nurse said as she looked down.
I held Kace’s hand as she screamed.
“Grrrrrrr….” Kace growled and huffed as her eyes went open and closed.
As she finished pushing, she opened her eyes and stared, “I hate you, Shane. I fucking hate that you did this to me. You should be laying here…”
“Here we go, let’s push. Do it with me,” the nurse said as she wiped Kace’s face.
There were far too many people in a much smaller space than I would have ever imagined for birthing a child. I began to feel cramped and claustrophobic as Kace began to push again.
“Here’s the head,” the doctor said as he looked up toward the nurse and Kace.
A combination of nerves, the people surrounding me, and a considerable amount of fear of the unknown prevented me from watching the procedure too closely. Part of me didn’t want to know anything until it was completely over.
“Push, push, push, push,” I heard them continue to say.
I looked down as I saw the doctor begin to stand, his arms and chest covered in bloody matter, “Mr. and Mrs. Dekkar, we have…”
SHANE. There are times in our lives when we aren’t certain of what God’s will is for us. Although I pray almost daily, I never have a complete understanding of God’s will entirely. I often ask for the ability to understand, but maintain fear I fall short of just what it is he either expects or wants of me. I live in somewhat of a constant state of worry, wondering if I am making mistakes I will have to pay for later in my life. My self-imposed shortcomings, although I’ve always been uncertain God sees them as so, were all brought into an oddly clear perspective as the doctor stood; his arms holding something small and smeared with bloody matter. I now believe I am a good man; and good will come to me.
“Mr. and Mrs. Dekkar we have a little boy. You’re the proud parents of a little boy,” he smiled.
“Shane…” Kace sighed in an almost inaudible tone.
“Is he okay?” she asked.
I looked down as the doctor held my son in front of me.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
I swallowed and smiled, “He uhhm. He has all his toes.”
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
Eight, nine, and there is number ten.
“He’s got all his little fingers, baby. He’s fine.” I said.
And I immediately broke down and began to cry. As I wept, I began to pray.
Thank you Lord for providing Kace and me the greatest gift we could have ever hoped to receive from you. Please be with us and the baby through this first little bit while we’re adjusting to what is new to all of us. You keep him healthy, Lord, and I’ll keep him safe. I promise.
“Shane?” Kace whispered.
“I’m fine, babe. I’m just happy,” I sniffed.
To attempt to explain the emotion one goes through during the birth of a child would be absolutely impossible. I now know to see the results of a love as deep as Kace’s and I have can only be done in one way – through seeing our newborn child. For anyone who may question the love we have for each other, resolution may be found in the eyes of our son.
I reached for Kace’s hand.
Woman, I love you with all that I am.
“I love you,” I cried.
“Congratulations. You can hold him for a moment – we’re going to need to take him for testing – it’s procedure for premature babies,” the nurse said as she handed Kace the small blanket covered baby.
“Shane, he’s just,” she tilted her head toward me as she held the blanket against her chest.
“Perfect,” she sighed.
“He sure is, babe,” I grinned as I wiped tears from my eyes.
She stared down at the baby and her eyes glistened with a newfound fire. As she grinned and held him, she didn’t speak, nor did she need to. Her face told a story a million words could not. A mother’s love for her child was clearly defined on her face. After absorbing the magic
“Push,’ the nurse said as she looked down.
I held Kace’s hand as she screamed.
“Grrrrrrr….” Kace growled and huffed as her eyes went open and closed.
As she finished pushing, she opened her eyes and stared, “I hate you, Shane. I fucking hate that you did this to me. You should be laying here…”
“Here we go, let’s push. Do it with me,” the nurse said as she wiped Kace’s face.
There were far too many people in a much smaller space than I would have ever imagined for birthing a child. I began to feel cramped and claustrophobic as Kace began to push again.
“Here’s the head,” the doctor said as he looked up toward the nurse and Kace.
A combination of nerves, the people surrounding me, and a considerable amount of fear of the unknown prevented me from watching the procedure too closely. Part of me didn’t want to know anything until it was completely over.
“Push, push, push, push,” I heard them continue to say.
I looked down as I saw the doctor begin to stand, his arms and chest covered in bloody matter, “Mr. and Mrs. Dekkar, we have…”
SHANE. There are times in our lives when we aren’t certain of what God’s will is for us. Although I pray almost daily, I never have a complete understanding of God’s will entirely. I often ask for the ability to understand, but maintain fear I fall short of just what it is he either expects or wants of me. I live in somewhat of a constant state of worry, wondering if I am making mistakes I will have to pay for later in my life. My self-imposed shortcomings, although I’ve always been uncertain God sees them as so, were all brought into an oddly clear perspective as the doctor stood; his arms holding something small and smeared with bloody matter. I now believe I am a good man; and good will come to me.
“Mr. and Mrs. Dekkar we have a little boy. You’re the proud parents of a little boy,” he smiled.
“Shane…” Kace sighed in an almost inaudible tone.
“Is he okay?” she asked.
I looked down as the doctor held my son in front of me.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
I swallowed and smiled, “He uhhm. He has all his toes.”
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.
Eight, nine, and there is number ten.
“He’s got all his little fingers, baby. He’s fine.” I said.
And I immediately broke down and began to cry. As I wept, I began to pray.
Thank you Lord for providing Kace and me the greatest gift we could have ever hoped to receive from you. Please be with us and the baby through this first little bit while we’re adjusting to what is new to all of us. You keep him healthy, Lord, and I’ll keep him safe. I promise.
“Shane?” Kace whispered.
“I’m fine, babe. I’m just happy,” I sniffed.
To attempt to explain the emotion one goes through during the birth of a child would be absolutely impossible. I now know to see the results of a love as deep as Kace’s and I have can only be done in one way – through seeing our newborn child. For anyone who may question the love we have for each other, resolution may be found in the eyes of our son.
I reached for Kace’s hand.
Woman, I love you with all that I am.
“I love you,” I cried.
“Congratulations. You can hold him for a moment – we’re going to need to take him for testing – it’s procedure for premature babies,” the nurse said as she handed Kace the small blanket covered baby.
“Shane, he’s just,” she tilted her head toward me as she held the blanket against her chest.
“Perfect,” she sighed.
“He sure is, babe,” I grinned as I wiped tears from my eyes.
She stared down at the baby and her eyes glistened with a newfound fire. As she grinned and held him, she didn’t speak, nor did she need to. Her face told a story a million words could not. A mother’s love for her child was clearly defined on her face. After absorbing the magic
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