Uncle John's Ahh-Inspiring Bathroom Reader by Bathroom Readers’ Institute

WARN all Citizens of the danger of fire from Damaged or Destroyed Chimneys, Broken or Leaking Gas Pipes or Fixtures, or any like cause.
    E. E. SCHMITZ, Mayor
    Dated April 18, 1906
    Call me Rock: The odds that a stage or screen actor has changed their name is about 75%.

CANNED DELICACY
    We found a bunch of disgusting foods and put them in Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader For Kids Only. Here are the leftovers.
B RAINS
    Armour Star, the company that makes Armour hot dogs, also makes canned pork brains. The front of the label has a photo of pork brains prepared in milk gravy, and on the side of the can, Armour suggests a “delicious” recipe for eggs ’n’ brains. However, once you discover that one can of brains contains 3500 mg of cholesterol—1,170% of the recommended daily value—you might want to skip the eggs (just a thought).
GAME
    Tired of tuna fish? Try some Cajun Style Alligator. The Native Game Company offers a variety of meats that you won’t find on the shelves of your local grocery store (available only through mail order). Pick up a can of Smoked Rattlesnake, Elk, or Buffalo Au Jus , for a wild all-natural taste. Some other meat to order: emu, turtle, and kangaroo.
TONGUE
    Australia’s Bronte Industries has been marketing lamb’s tongues for more than three decades. The blue and gold can familiar to most Aussies reads “Bronte Tongues in Jelly.” Oddly, Bronte only advertises them in movie theaters.
INSECTS
    People have been snacking on fresh bugs for centuries. But now, thanks to modern food technology, Sakon Nakhon Agricultural Research and Training Centre offers canned grasshoppers, locusts, water beetles, mole crickets, plain crickets, red ant eggs, and silk-worm pupae. The company explains, “Four of the products are made as crunchy snacks that go so well with a cold beer, while the ant eggs are perfect served on hot toast.” They’re a good source of protein, too!
    Now that’s a founding father: Mormon leader Brigham Young had 56 kids by 27 wives.

QUEEN OF THE JAIL
    From our Dustbin of History files: Here’s a true story of danger, seduction, betrayal, and a deadly escape.
THE SETTING
    Allegheny County Jail, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, 1901
THE CAST
Katherine Soffel
Ed Biddle
Jack Biddle
Peter Soffel
The warden’s beautiful wife
Famous outlaw
Ed’s accomplice and younger brother
The prison warden
PROLOGUE
    Jack and Ed were “the Biddle Boys,” leaders of a gang of small-time outlaws who relied more on brains than brawn to carry out their nefarious crimes. Sometimes they used chloroform to render their potential victims unconscious; sometimes they used beautiful women as distractions. They carried guns, too…just in case.
    On April 12, 1901, the gang was robbing a house next to a small grocery store in Mt. Washington, Pennsylvania. A female accomplice kept the grocer occupied while the boys searched the adjoining house, looking for a pile of cash. The distraction didn’t work, though—the grocer heard a noise and went to investigate. A struggle ensued, shots were fired, and the grocer ended up dead on his living-room floor. The Biddle brothers fled the scene and holed up in a safehouse, but the police soon caught up with them. After a violent shootout, the outlaws were arrested, but not before a policeman was killed. The trial was quick and the sentence severe: the Biddle Boys were to be hanged for their crimes on February 25, 1902.
SECRET LOVE AFFAIR
    Peter and Katherine Soffel were in the midst of a divorce when the Biddles arrived at the Allegheny County Jail. Katherine, who had previously spent time in an asylum, showed no interest in her husband. Instead, she spent most of her time visiting the prisoners, offering them spiritual advice and bringing them Bibles. For theinmates, Katherine Soffel was a welcome sight. They called her “Queen of the Jail.”
    President Lyndon Johnson had an aunt named Frank. (Her