Uncle John's Bathroom Reader The World's Gone Crazy by Bathroom Readers’ Institute Page A

mouth became completely numb. “I was in a lot of pain and yelled, but he carried on,” she said. “Then he seemed to fall over me. I ended up running out.” Another dentist finished the extraction; McKay was found guilty of professional misconduct.

YANK!
    “Dr. Allena Burge pulled teeth so hard and fast, the patients’ blood would spray,” her assistant, Janet Popelier, told investigators. “Sometimes parts of the jawbone or mandible would break.” Why did the Florida dentist have to work so fast? “She was trying to make $12,000 a day from Medicaid. I saw many half-conscious, bleeding patients led out the back door soon after their surgeries to make room for new patients.” Burge was charged with fraud and malpractice. (She even let her 12-year-old son administer anesthesia.) In just four years, she filed more than 57,000 Medicaid claims totaling $6.6 million. No word on the investigation’s outcome, but at last report, Burge was still practicing dentistry.
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U. of California studies suggest that obesity, smoking, loneliness, and happiness are all contagious .
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OVEREXTENDED

    Just because a company is good at selling one thing doesn’t mean consumers will buy something else from them. While some “brand extensions” make sense—Hershey’s chocolate milk, for example—others, like these, are just weird .
    • Cheetos lip balm
    • Colgate frozen dinners
    • Tootsie Roll earphones
    • Humane Society Dog Lovers’ Wine Club
    • Sony PlayStation snacks
    • Harley Davidson perfume
    • LifeSavers soda
    • Donald Trump steaks
    • Bumble Bee chicken
    • Frito-Lay lemonade
    • Cosmopolitan yogurt
    • Smith & Wesson bicycles
    • Burger King underwear
    • Girls Gone Wild clothing
    • Jeff Gordon wine
    • Sylvester Stallone’s High Protein Pudding
    • Disney’s Sleeping Beauty executive fountain pen ($1,200)
    • Snoop Dogg pet accessories
    • Barbie clothing…for adult women
    • Pierre Cardin cigarettes
    • Hooters Airline
    • Salvador Dali deodorant
    • Willie Nelson biodiesel fuel
    • Diesel Jeans wine
    • Starburst shampoo
    • Precious Moments coffins
    • Disney milk
    • Chicken Soup for the Soul dog food
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Celebrity phobia: Matthew McConaughey is afraid of revolving doors .
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AHHHH!!!

    And we don’t mean “Ahhhh” as in, “this feels really good,” but “Ahhhh!!!” as in, “Something just scared the @&*# out of me!”
    S ETUP: One night in November 2009, a thief in Wuppertal, Germany, decided to steal a Mercedes Transporter van. What the thief didn’t know was that…
AHHHH! …an African lion was in the back of the van. The vehicle belonged to an entertainment company called Circus Probst and was fitted with a special cage in the back. The lion, a five-year-old male named Caesar, was being transported to a new circus site. Police found the van the next day, a few miles away from where it was stolen. Whoever had taken it had crashed it into a road sign and run away, leaving the engine running. Police said they assumed that Caesar had stayed quiet at the beginning of the escapade, then suddenly roared and scared the wits out of the thief. The thief was not caught; Caesar was fine.
    SETUP: In September 2009, Mike Cunning and his five-year-old daughter, Caleigh, were fishing from a dock in Vancouver, British Columbia. Cunning was cleaning fish; Caleigh was sitting on the edge of the dock a short distance away, when…
AHHHH! …a seal jumped out of the water, grabbed Caleigh’s hand in its mouth, and pulled her into the water. Cunning only heard the splash and looked over to see that his daughter was gone. Caleigh popped up out of the water a few seconds later, screaming “Daddy! The seal! The seal!” Cunning scooped up the girl, who was bleeding profusely, and rushed her to an emergency room. She was treated for four deep puncture wounds to her hand. Caleigh asked her father why the seal would do such a thing. Cunning answered that maybe the seal wanted to go