Uncle John’s Curiously Compelling Bathroom Reader by Bathroom Readers’ Institute Page B
Authors: Bathroom Readers’ Institute
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perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
Famous: Conspicuously miserable.
Friendship: A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
Husband: One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worthwhile.
Outcome: A particular type of disappointment.
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Geography fact: Brazil is larger than all 48 contiguous United States combined.
IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME
Life is constantly presenting us with interesting challenges. These challenges have many possible solutions…some good, some not so good, and some just plain bad. These belong in the third category .
T HE KEYS TO SUCCESS
Challenge: A tourist at Montana’s Glacier National Park wanted to take a picture of a squirrel that had scurried away into its rocky den.
Bad Idea: Trying to coax the animal out of its lair, the man dangled his only set of car keys in front of the opening.
Outcome : The squirrel darted out, snatched the keys right out of the man’s hand, and disappeared back into the ground. Rangers tried to assist the frantic tourist, but the squirrel (and the keys) were nowhere to be found. The man had to call a locksmith out to the park and pay a hefty sum to get his car back on the road.
BACKFIRING BOOBY TRAP
Challenge: A 66-year-old Dutchman had some very important “stuff” in his garden shed and was afraid someone would steal it.
Bad Idea: Using some ropes, he devised a booby trap that hung a shotgun inside the door and set it to go off when the door was opened. Then he proudly opened the door to give his friends a demonstration.
Outcome : The man was shot in the stomach by his own gun and needed emergency surgery. After he recovered, he went to jail. (Police discovered the “stuff” he was guarding: 15 full-grown marijuana plants.)
LIGHT ONE CANDLE
Challenge: A 29-year-old St. Paul, Minnesota, man, identified only as Robert, wanted to clean the grit out of his bathtub.
Bad Idea: He used gasoline to clean the tub, which left the bathroom smelling really bad. To mask the odor, Robert lit aromatic candles.
The cables on the Golden Gate Bridge contain 80,000 miles of steel wire.
Outcome : Robert blew up his apartment. He sustained severe burns, but survived. (The apartment did not.)
DROVE MY CHEVY TO THE LEVEE
Challenge: In 1993, 24-year-old James Scott lived on the Illinois side of the Mississippi River. His wife worked on the Missouri side. All Scott wanted to do was “party,” but his wife wouldn’t let him.
Bad Idea: Scott removed some sandbags from a nearby levee, hoping the river would wash out the road that his wife used to take home.
Outcome: Not only did Scott wash out the road…he also flooded 14,000 acres, destroying crops as well as dozens of homes and businesses, and causing a local bridge to be closed for more than three months. After bragging about his “success” to his friends, Scott was arrested and sentenced to life in prison (the maximum penalty for “causing a catastrophe”).
IN NEED OF A LIFT
Challenge: Somjet Korkeaw, a 42-year-old office worker from Bangkok, Thailand, was leaving work on a Saturday afternoon when he suddenly realized he’d forgotten something and had to return to his office on the 99th floor to get it. Unfortunately, the passenger elevators had already been turned off for the weekend and the stair doors were locked.
Bad Idea: He decided to take a small cargo elevator (designed to carry food and documents). It was small, so he had to crouch into a ball to fit, but it was the only way back to the office.
Outcome: Korkeaw weighed 150 pounds, far too heavy for the lift to carry. Result: It got stuck between floors. He had to wait, bent over and crammed inside the little box, for more than 40 hours until the building reopened on Monday morning.
SHELL SHOCK
Challenge: A 19-year-old man from Spokane, Washington, wanted to make a necklace out of
Famous: Conspicuously miserable.
Friendship: A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.
Husband: One who, having dined, is charged with the care of the plate.
Meekness: Uncommon patience in planning a revenge that is worthwhile.
Outcome: A particular type of disappointment.
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Geography fact: Brazil is larger than all 48 contiguous United States combined.
IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME
Life is constantly presenting us with interesting challenges. These challenges have many possible solutions…some good, some not so good, and some just plain bad. These belong in the third category .
T HE KEYS TO SUCCESS
Challenge: A tourist at Montana’s Glacier National Park wanted to take a picture of a squirrel that had scurried away into its rocky den.
Bad Idea: Trying to coax the animal out of its lair, the man dangled his only set of car keys in front of the opening.
Outcome : The squirrel darted out, snatched the keys right out of the man’s hand, and disappeared back into the ground. Rangers tried to assist the frantic tourist, but the squirrel (and the keys) were nowhere to be found. The man had to call a locksmith out to the park and pay a hefty sum to get his car back on the road.
BACKFIRING BOOBY TRAP
Challenge: A 66-year-old Dutchman had some very important “stuff” in his garden shed and was afraid someone would steal it.
Bad Idea: Using some ropes, he devised a booby trap that hung a shotgun inside the door and set it to go off when the door was opened. Then he proudly opened the door to give his friends a demonstration.
Outcome : The man was shot in the stomach by his own gun and needed emergency surgery. After he recovered, he went to jail. (Police discovered the “stuff” he was guarding: 15 full-grown marijuana plants.)
LIGHT ONE CANDLE
Challenge: A 29-year-old St. Paul, Minnesota, man, identified only as Robert, wanted to clean the grit out of his bathtub.
Bad Idea: He used gasoline to clean the tub, which left the bathroom smelling really bad. To mask the odor, Robert lit aromatic candles.
The cables on the Golden Gate Bridge contain 80,000 miles of steel wire.
Outcome : Robert blew up his apartment. He sustained severe burns, but survived. (The apartment did not.)
DROVE MY CHEVY TO THE LEVEE
Challenge: In 1993, 24-year-old James Scott lived on the Illinois side of the Mississippi River. His wife worked on the Missouri side. All Scott wanted to do was “party,” but his wife wouldn’t let him.
Bad Idea: Scott removed some sandbags from a nearby levee, hoping the river would wash out the road that his wife used to take home.
Outcome: Not only did Scott wash out the road…he also flooded 14,000 acres, destroying crops as well as dozens of homes and businesses, and causing a local bridge to be closed for more than three months. After bragging about his “success” to his friends, Scott was arrested and sentenced to life in prison (the maximum penalty for “causing a catastrophe”).
IN NEED OF A LIFT
Challenge: Somjet Korkeaw, a 42-year-old office worker from Bangkok, Thailand, was leaving work on a Saturday afternoon when he suddenly realized he’d forgotten something and had to return to his office on the 99th floor to get it. Unfortunately, the passenger elevators had already been turned off for the weekend and the stair doors were locked.
Bad Idea: He decided to take a small cargo elevator (designed to carry food and documents). It was small, so he had to crouch into a ball to fit, but it was the only way back to the office.
Outcome: Korkeaw weighed 150 pounds, far too heavy for the lift to carry. Result: It got stuck between floors. He had to wait, bent over and crammed inside the little box, for more than 40 hours until the building reopened on Monday morning.
SHELL SHOCK
Challenge: A 19-year-old man from Spokane, Washington, wanted to make a necklace out of
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