Under My Skin by Laura Diamond Page A

questions I want to ask her, grinding down each word into a finely polished accusation. The temptation to speak first settles in the back of my throat, hot and coarse, but I want to see what she has to say first.
    Mum pops out of the Barco lounger parked next to the foot of my bed. She sets her Kindle on the windowsill. “Hello, Doctor. I’m so glad you’re here.”
    Dr. Shaw smiles at Mum. Her dark eyes simply glow with warmth for her. “I wish I could’ve gotten here sooner, but I had other clients scheduled this morning.”
    Mum eats it up like chocolate pudding. My stomach churns on the stale sandwich I’d choked down. “Oh, it’s not a problem, really.”
    Dr. Shaw extends a hand. “What happened yesterday must have been quite a shock.”
    Were you expecting it? I wonder.
    Mum clasps both hands around hers. “You have no idea. It was so sudden. He was fine when I dropped him off at school and then the teacher called. I’ve never driven so fast in my life. Blasted through a couple of red lights, even.”
    Dr. Shaw nods in sympathy, gesturing for Mum to sit back in the lounger. “I can’t imagine how frightened you were.”
    “I’m still terrified,” Mum confesses.
    “Of course.” Dr. Shaw lowers her brows. “I hear Adam’s heart isn’t functioning as well as it was, but at least he’s been prioritized on the list.”
    Mum sucks in a shaky breath. “Silver lining, I suppose.”
    I love how they talk about me like I’m not here. I dog-ear the page I’m on in Frankenstein and lay the book next to me. I wasn’t reading it anyway, what with all my stewing on Shaw’s choice of medication for me.
    Dr. Shaw turns her attention to me. The brightness in her eyes dims. The lines of her face, earlier fragile and soft, morph into stern angles as her brows arch and lips thin. A sign of guilt? “Good afternoon, Adam. How are you?”
    I pick at a snag in the blue blanket covering my legs, dissecting the fibers like I want to dissect her expression. “Fine.”
    Mum clucks her tongue. “It’s so frustrating, doctor. He just doesn’t tell us how he really is. I don’t know what to do anymore.” She wrings her hands. The vertical line in the middle of her forehead deepens.
    I curl my fingers into fists. “Maybe if you hadn’t made me take the new pill, this wouldn’t have happened.”
    Mum withers, stepping away from me as if I’d spewed poison at her. “I … I don’t believe that.”
    My sickly heart plummets into my stomach. I didn’t mean to hurt Mum. This is Shaw’s fault.
    “It was the stairs. The added stress weakened your heart.” Mum sniffs, shaking her head. She wipes wetness from her eyes with a tissue snaked from her pocket.
    “Ziprasidone causes unstable heart rhythms. I should think a doctor would know that.” I give Shaw a death stare.
    Dr. Shaw frowns at me like a Catholic nun judging a misbehaving child. “I don’t think it’s the medicine, Adam. It was designed to help you stay calm.”
    “Did you forget about me having heart failure, oh, and the fact that I’m not schizophrenic? Minor details, I guess.”
    Mum huffs. “Adam! How could you doubt Doctor Shaw’s expertise?”
    “Look it up. Everything I’ve just said is written down, in black and white.” My voice echoes in the room.
    Mum glances at the open doorway. Chatter from the nurse’s station drifts in. “Shh, lower your voice.”
    Dr. Shaw purses her lips. “Perhaps Adam and I should speak in private for a bit.”
    “Sounds like a good idea. I need some fresh air anyway.” Mum snatches her coat from the cot and rushes out, shutting the door behind her.
    Mum left me. She left, never second guessing Shaw’s intentions. Unbelievable.
    I toss the blanket aside to draw my knees up.
    Dr. Shaw’s direct attention is sort of like throwing yourself on a fire. My skin feels like it’s burning.
    “I discussed the side effects with your mother. I told her it was safe, especially at the dose I