his melancholy through his reddened cobalt eyes. “Look, I know you can take care of yourself, I was just tryin’ to help. After all …”
I wanted to hug him and get lost in his love, but I knew it wasn’t real. There’s no such thing as love. His declaration of love was just the byproduct of our having sex. There was no way in hell I was letting him think he owned me just because we had sex.
“We had sex, Jake. It didn’t mean anything.”
His eyes widened and he stared at me in disbelief. When a lone tear escaped the corner of his eye, my heart melted. I suddenly wondered if he did feel something for me. Could he love me? Could he have truly meant what he said? Was I wrong?
Without another word, Jake turned away from me, and never looked at me the same way again.
Present Day
I walked out onto the dance floor to a smiling Jen. “Yay, Mia. This is Ben and James,” she said, gesturing to the men surrounding her. “You coming to dance with us?”
I shook my head. “No, Jen. I’m gonna bolt. I need to get home.” Memories of Jake played in my head over and over while I talked to her. “I’m not feelin’ well. I’ll see you at work Monday.”
Jen looked annoyed, but she nodded. I just wasn’t like her. I could date and have sex, but I couldn’t just go out and let myself relax enough to meet someone. I envied her confidence. Maybe if I could just let it all go, I could finally find love instead of living in the past.
***
“Mia, please talk to me.” Grant begged over the message on my voicemail. When I got home on Saturday night, I went cyber-stalking and found the pictures Jen had told me about. Pictures of him doing body shots off girls. Of people dry-humping on a dance floor in what seemed to be a private party. I wasn’t a prude, I didn’t have a problem with strip clubs or things of that nature, but these pictures were beyond the normal visit to a strip club. Besides, he was supposed to be with his sick mother. I despised liars and I wasn’t about to deal with his lying. So I did what any normal passive-aggressive person would do. I left a snarky comment on one of the pictures and tagged Grant in the comment. It was cowardly and low, but I didn’t care. By the time I’d changed my mind and went to delete the message, it was too late. My phone rang almost instantly. He called repeatedly, leaving messages begging me to talk to him.
Continuing with my surly responses, I decided to respond to his pursuit in a text.
Me: Grant, stop calling and texting. Go be with the women in the picture. It’s not a big deal.
A long hour wait had me fuming by the time he answered. After he called six times in one hour begging me to answer, it took him an hour to respond? Obviously he wasn’t too worried.
Grant: Don’t do this, Mia. It was nothing. Just me and my friends blowing off some steam. Maybe if you weren’t so detached, I’d have been there with you instead.
Me: You told me your mother was sick, which I now know to be a lie. I called the hospital. I was going to send flowers, but they said she had never been admitted.
Almost immediately after I pressed send, my phone vibrated in my hand. Grant’s name flashed across the screen. I should’ve known he’d call. I wasn’t sure I wanted to answer. I was pissed that he lied. Shouldn’t I have been hurt? Shouldn’t I have cared more about the pictures and his betrayal than the lie? There was no stab of pain when I looked at those pictures. No feeling of loss or sadness when those pictures scrolled across my screen. Nope, I was just pissed. I should feel something, shouldn’t I?
“What do you want, Grant?” I sighed, answering the ringing. I just wanted to be left alone. The drama was irritating and totally pointless, yet I continued this pointless pursuit.
“I’m sorry, Mia. I swear, I didn’t mean to lie.”
The snort that came out of me was almost comical. I couldn’t help it though. I expected him to
I wanted to hug him and get lost in his love, but I knew it wasn’t real. There’s no such thing as love. His declaration of love was just the byproduct of our having sex. There was no way in hell I was letting him think he owned me just because we had sex.
“We had sex, Jake. It didn’t mean anything.”
His eyes widened and he stared at me in disbelief. When a lone tear escaped the corner of his eye, my heart melted. I suddenly wondered if he did feel something for me. Could he love me? Could he have truly meant what he said? Was I wrong?
Without another word, Jake turned away from me, and never looked at me the same way again.
Present Day
I walked out onto the dance floor to a smiling Jen. “Yay, Mia. This is Ben and James,” she said, gesturing to the men surrounding her. “You coming to dance with us?”
I shook my head. “No, Jen. I’m gonna bolt. I need to get home.” Memories of Jake played in my head over and over while I talked to her. “I’m not feelin’ well. I’ll see you at work Monday.”
Jen looked annoyed, but she nodded. I just wasn’t like her. I could date and have sex, but I couldn’t just go out and let myself relax enough to meet someone. I envied her confidence. Maybe if I could just let it all go, I could finally find love instead of living in the past.
***
“Mia, please talk to me.” Grant begged over the message on my voicemail. When I got home on Saturday night, I went cyber-stalking and found the pictures Jen had told me about. Pictures of him doing body shots off girls. Of people dry-humping on a dance floor in what seemed to be a private party. I wasn’t a prude, I didn’t have a problem with strip clubs or things of that nature, but these pictures were beyond the normal visit to a strip club. Besides, he was supposed to be with his sick mother. I despised liars and I wasn’t about to deal with his lying. So I did what any normal passive-aggressive person would do. I left a snarky comment on one of the pictures and tagged Grant in the comment. It was cowardly and low, but I didn’t care. By the time I’d changed my mind and went to delete the message, it was too late. My phone rang almost instantly. He called repeatedly, leaving messages begging me to talk to him.
Continuing with my surly responses, I decided to respond to his pursuit in a text.
Me: Grant, stop calling and texting. Go be with the women in the picture. It’s not a big deal.
A long hour wait had me fuming by the time he answered. After he called six times in one hour begging me to answer, it took him an hour to respond? Obviously he wasn’t too worried.
Grant: Don’t do this, Mia. It was nothing. Just me and my friends blowing off some steam. Maybe if you weren’t so detached, I’d have been there with you instead.
Me: You told me your mother was sick, which I now know to be a lie. I called the hospital. I was going to send flowers, but they said she had never been admitted.
Almost immediately after I pressed send, my phone vibrated in my hand. Grant’s name flashed across the screen. I should’ve known he’d call. I wasn’t sure I wanted to answer. I was pissed that he lied. Shouldn’t I have been hurt? Shouldn’t I have cared more about the pictures and his betrayal than the lie? There was no stab of pain when I looked at those pictures. No feeling of loss or sadness when those pictures scrolled across my screen. Nope, I was just pissed. I should feel something, shouldn’t I?
“What do you want, Grant?” I sighed, answering the ringing. I just wanted to be left alone. The drama was irritating and totally pointless, yet I continued this pointless pursuit.
“I’m sorry, Mia. I swear, I didn’t mean to lie.”
The snort that came out of me was almost comical. I couldn’t help it though. I expected him to
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