Lorenzo wouldn’t be seeing—the list she would compile after this one to illustrate the form any rebellion might take. But meanwhile Lorenzo’s list was complete:
GUIDELINES CHRISTMAS PARTY
REMEMBER…
MERRY NIGHTS MAKE SAD MORNINGS!
And here are a few handy tips to help you avoid the pitfalls…
1. Arrive early and make a point of speaking to your immediate superior!
2. Above all, please remember that first impressions count!
3. You must remain visible at all times and maintain a pleasant and interested smile on your face.
4. You must try to engage every judge in light-hearted chit-chat, and maintain an air of quiet confidence as you do so.
5. Absolutely NO dancing drunkenly on tables!
6. In the unlikely event that you begin to feel the effects of too much alcohol you must take yourself outside the building IMMEDIATELY!
7. The importance of thanking your host at the end of the night cannot be overstated.
Lorenzo should be pleased with that. Folding the sheet of paper neatly, she placed it safely inside an envelope.
And now for the list her colleagues would receive, which would be basically the same, but with certain additions. Her intention was to make it recognisably the same, so they wouldn’t be caught out if questioned, and yet, so very, very different…
Beneath the legend ‘GUIDELINES CHRISTMAS PARTY’ the banner heading still read ‘MERRY NIGHTS MAKE SAD MORNINGS!’ But now there was a smaller sub-heading, which advised,
Expert Schmoozing, Without Resorting To Being A Creep, Helps You Move UP The Ladder!
Below this she had written another list of bullet points.
Arrive early and make a point of speaking to your immediate superior!
Carly frowned, reading the point through again. The chance of engaging Lorenzo in a conversation that didn’t involve her saluting and him instructing seemed remote. And weren’t parties supposed to be fun? She added fangs and horns to his picture before printing out a dozen for distribution.
The importance of thanking the host cannot be overstated.
She frowned again. Well, that was all very well, but Lorenzo hadn’t made it clear who would be hosting the party. She added a handwritten note to suggest her colleagues assume the customary grovelling position with every senior who attended.
You must remain visible at all times and maintain a pleasant and interested smile on your face.
No problem! Smiling while inwardly yawning was a skill every pupil perfected within their first six months. But she added a further helpful point anyway:
You must try to engage even the most curmudgeonly judge in light-hearted chit-chat, and maintain an air of quiet confidence as you do so…
Even if they fell asleep on the bench last time you were in front of them, presumably.
Absolutely NO dancing drunkenly on tables!
After a moment’s contemplation she moved this item to the top of the list and reprinted everything, shredding the first draft and anything else that might prove incriminating. Then she popped the lists into envelopes ready for distribution. It was crucial to ensure they didn’t get into the wrong hands—i.e. Lorenzo’s hands. To make certain of it she would deliver them to the various offices herself.
Sitting back, Carly congratulated herself on a job well done, and then, remembering that there was still time to personalise her own set of guidelines, she got started…
First off she jotted a note next to Lorenzo’s photograph: ‘ Carly’s Christmas Present to Herself’, while down the side of the page she sketched some imaginative and energetic matchstick people—one of whom wore Technicolor socks, while the other boasted enormous breasts…
He had just walked back into chambers when Carly rushed past him with a distracted look on her face. She was muttering something. He thought she said,
GUIDELINES CHRISTMAS PARTY
REMEMBER…
MERRY NIGHTS MAKE SAD MORNINGS!
And here are a few handy tips to help you avoid the pitfalls…
1. Arrive early and make a point of speaking to your immediate superior!
2. Above all, please remember that first impressions count!
3. You must remain visible at all times and maintain a pleasant and interested smile on your face.
4. You must try to engage every judge in light-hearted chit-chat, and maintain an air of quiet confidence as you do so.
5. Absolutely NO dancing drunkenly on tables!
6. In the unlikely event that you begin to feel the effects of too much alcohol you must take yourself outside the building IMMEDIATELY!
7. The importance of thanking your host at the end of the night cannot be overstated.
Lorenzo should be pleased with that. Folding the sheet of paper neatly, she placed it safely inside an envelope.
And now for the list her colleagues would receive, which would be basically the same, but with certain additions. Her intention was to make it recognisably the same, so they wouldn’t be caught out if questioned, and yet, so very, very different…
Beneath the legend ‘GUIDELINES CHRISTMAS PARTY’ the banner heading still read ‘MERRY NIGHTS MAKE SAD MORNINGS!’ But now there was a smaller sub-heading, which advised,
Expert Schmoozing, Without Resorting To Being A Creep, Helps You Move UP The Ladder!
Below this she had written another list of bullet points.
Arrive early and make a point of speaking to your immediate superior!
Carly frowned, reading the point through again. The chance of engaging Lorenzo in a conversation that didn’t involve her saluting and him instructing seemed remote. And weren’t parties supposed to be fun? She added fangs and horns to his picture before printing out a dozen for distribution.
The importance of thanking the host cannot be overstated.
She frowned again. Well, that was all very well, but Lorenzo hadn’t made it clear who would be hosting the party. She added a handwritten note to suggest her colleagues assume the customary grovelling position with every senior who attended.
You must remain visible at all times and maintain a pleasant and interested smile on your face.
No problem! Smiling while inwardly yawning was a skill every pupil perfected within their first six months. But she added a further helpful point anyway:
You must try to engage even the most curmudgeonly judge in light-hearted chit-chat, and maintain an air of quiet confidence as you do so…
Even if they fell asleep on the bench last time you were in front of them, presumably.
Absolutely NO dancing drunkenly on tables!
After a moment’s contemplation she moved this item to the top of the list and reprinted everything, shredding the first draft and anything else that might prove incriminating. Then she popped the lists into envelopes ready for distribution. It was crucial to ensure they didn’t get into the wrong hands—i.e. Lorenzo’s hands. To make certain of it she would deliver them to the various offices herself.
Sitting back, Carly congratulated herself on a job well done, and then, remembering that there was still time to personalise her own set of guidelines, she got started…
First off she jotted a note next to Lorenzo’s photograph: ‘ Carly’s Christmas Present to Herself’, while down the side of the page she sketched some imaginative and energetic matchstick people—one of whom wore Technicolor socks, while the other boasted enormous breasts…
He had just walked back into chambers when Carly rushed past him with a distracted look on her face. She was muttering something. He thought she said,
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