Unlocked: An Oral History of Haden’s Syndrome

Unlocked: An Oral History of Haden’s Syndrome by John Scalzi Page B

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Authors: John Scalzi
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Bedroom, where the First Lady’s body and medical team were, prepping the prototype to sync with her neural network.
    Janis Massey:
    I thought it was a bad idea. The President’s Chief of Staff thought it was a bad idea. Mario [Schmidt, Head of the Presidential Secret Service detail] nearly had a stroke trying to argue the President out of it. But the President wouldn’t be talked out of it. The only person who possibly could have talked him out of it was Margie herself, but she was willing, although it seemed to me more for her husband’s sake than her own.
    The personal transport was wheeled in on a gurney, along with a power source on a second gurney. I asked how it was supposed to work, and Charlie Sebring said that pretty much all the First Lady had to do was connect the thing to her internal network and then it would be under her control. Mario made a final objection that the personal transport could be dangerous or introduce viruses to the First Lady’s neural network. Rebecca Warner said, more than a little peremptorily, that she and Charlie Warner would be absolutely stupid to try to give a First Lady a virus in the White House, where the Secret Service could shoot them both dead at point blank range. As I said, peremptory, but she also had a point.
    They got it all set up and then Charlie Sebring said to Margie that she could connect anytime she wanted. A minute later the personal transport gave a little twitch and a jerk, and then raised its hand close to its face, as if looking at it. Then it stepped out of the gurney it was on, and everyone—
everyone
—took a step back. The personal transport walked over to the mirror in the room and stood at it for a good minute, just looking. Then, in a
very
Margie Haden move, it looked over its shoulder at the President and spoke, clearly, in a voice that sounded just like Margie’s always did.
    Rebecca Warner:
    I remember it. She said, “I look just like C3PO!” Which, once the press got hold of the comment, is how personal transports started to be called “threeps.” I never liked the term but no one ever asked me for approval, so.
    Janis Massey:
    The President broke down. Just broke down and collapsed knees-first to the floor. Mario started toward him, but Margie said “no,” and went to him, kneeling and holding him and stroking his hair, talking softly into his ear.
    For a minute or two it was strange, that here was this machine, this robot, or whatever you want to call it, kneeling down and comforting the President of the United States. And then after that minute or two, it stopped being a robot and the President and became just a wife, holding her husband, telling him that she loved him.
    Rebecca Warner:
    It was a beautiful and unexpected moment. It really was. And because I am who I am, while I was standing there watching this gorgeous, moving moment, I had to fight not to burst out laughing. Because the one thought that was going through my head, over and over and over, was
holy shit we’re going to make so much money off this
. And we did.
    Irving Bennett:
    I was invited to the White House press conference by [White House Press Secretary] Adrienne McLaughlin, which was unusual and which annoyed our regular White House correspondent, but when you’re told you should be at a press conference by the White House, at the White House, you go.
    I was there and I noticed a number of other science and technology writers and reporters from other organizations, so I thought that we might be getting one of those occasional space-related announcements, like we’re going to go Mars or something, which never pans out, and especially wouldn’t pan out now, because we were spending so much money on Haden’s.
    Then the President comes out, and I notice that for the first time in nearly two years the man actually looks happy. He’s smiling, he’s waving to the press corps, and he looks like he’s actually slept, which is also something that hasn’t happened in

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