“I can’t just go and break it off with Sally. That’d be cruel,” he said.
“So, you rather be cruel to me?” I shook my head “I can be your friend, Jackson. We can be best friends if you want but don’t ask me to put my life on hold only because you are afraid of looking like an asshole.”
“It’s not that,” he said.
“Then what is it, Jackson?” I said a little more calmed.
“It’s complicated,” he said with pleading eyes.
“Well if it ever stops being ‘complicated’, I’m here to listen,” I turned and got busy with the dough.
Suddenly I felt two hands on my waist, “I hate sharing,” he said in my ear.
“You can’t share something that isn’t yours,” I said without turning to look at him and then felt him leave.
I officially hated Jackson, so much. Why did he have to come and mess everything up? If he hadn’t shown up I wouldn’t be thinking twice about going out with Leonard. It wouldn’t be so complicated. It never was while he was gone. It took me a long time to stop waiting for him to come back, a longer time to recover and longer to be ready to have sex with someone new. But when I was ready I did what any normal girl would do, went out, dated, had one night stands. Jackson had always been in my heart because I didn’t forget him, I just let him go. And after a while it didn’t hurt anymore.
Except now he was back and he had brought back with him a whole lot of new feelings; frustration, pain, hopelessness and confusion. A truckload full of that.
I didn’t see Jackson the rest of the day which was odd because he always stopped by after lunch for some sweets and to do some work in his corner. I was so angry that he hadn’t stopped by, but what was I expecting? I had been pretty clear about what I wanted and he was honoring my wishes, he was staying away from me because I couldn’t handle his… his… whatever he was doing by not being clear about his intentions being back in town.
“Wow… Churros,” said Alexa once she had closed the bakery and Greg was gone.
“Yeah,” I said as I finished them. I had been baking all day long and I was left with some churros and donut holes. “Here, take some to Mika,” I said giving her the tray with the holes, “and some churros too.”
“You are not putting them out tomorrow.” she said grabbing a donut hole.
“Won’t be fresh enough,” I said taking off the net and re arranging my hair in normal bun.
“Why the churros?” she asked looking at me. I only cooked churros when I was annoyed or someone had asked me to. “Let me guess…. Jackson,” she cocked her head. She looked like a Golden Retriever waiting for me to throw a stick.
“He dared to come here and tell me that I can’t go out with Leonard,” I shook my head and took my apron off and hung it next to the oven and stove.
“Yeah, what’s up with Vanilla-Lemon and you?” she took her apron off, too.
“Nothing much. He wants to take me for some drinks I said it would be ok,” I shrugged.
“And Jackson hated the idea,” I nodded. “Fuck him, Marion. God knows I love the guy, he’s a great buddy but you can’t go back to that.”
“I told him something like that and now…,” I looked down.
“Now?” she asked.
“He didn’t come before lunch. What if he really stays away?” I didn’t want him to just disappear.
“He won’t,” said Alexa putting some churros and donut holes in a to-go box.
“You think so?” I asked doing the same splitting everything evenly into two boxes.
“I know so,” she looked at me and smiled. I nodded. What if he didn’t? What if he left me here wondering what could’ve been? Again.
Seventeen
“Can we address the elephant in the room?” I asked.
“That obviously I am the amazing one in this relationship?” asked Jackson as I laughed and shoved his shoulder.
We were in the back of his car at the beach. We’ve been going at it for hours now because once we had sex we couldn’t
“So, you rather be cruel to me?” I shook my head “I can be your friend, Jackson. We can be best friends if you want but don’t ask me to put my life on hold only because you are afraid of looking like an asshole.”
“It’s not that,” he said.
“Then what is it, Jackson?” I said a little more calmed.
“It’s complicated,” he said with pleading eyes.
“Well if it ever stops being ‘complicated’, I’m here to listen,” I turned and got busy with the dough.
Suddenly I felt two hands on my waist, “I hate sharing,” he said in my ear.
“You can’t share something that isn’t yours,” I said without turning to look at him and then felt him leave.
I officially hated Jackson, so much. Why did he have to come and mess everything up? If he hadn’t shown up I wouldn’t be thinking twice about going out with Leonard. It wouldn’t be so complicated. It never was while he was gone. It took me a long time to stop waiting for him to come back, a longer time to recover and longer to be ready to have sex with someone new. But when I was ready I did what any normal girl would do, went out, dated, had one night stands. Jackson had always been in my heart because I didn’t forget him, I just let him go. And after a while it didn’t hurt anymore.
Except now he was back and he had brought back with him a whole lot of new feelings; frustration, pain, hopelessness and confusion. A truckload full of that.
I didn’t see Jackson the rest of the day which was odd because he always stopped by after lunch for some sweets and to do some work in his corner. I was so angry that he hadn’t stopped by, but what was I expecting? I had been pretty clear about what I wanted and he was honoring my wishes, he was staying away from me because I couldn’t handle his… his… whatever he was doing by not being clear about his intentions being back in town.
“Wow… Churros,” said Alexa once she had closed the bakery and Greg was gone.
“Yeah,” I said as I finished them. I had been baking all day long and I was left with some churros and donut holes. “Here, take some to Mika,” I said giving her the tray with the holes, “and some churros too.”
“You are not putting them out tomorrow.” she said grabbing a donut hole.
“Won’t be fresh enough,” I said taking off the net and re arranging my hair in normal bun.
“Why the churros?” she asked looking at me. I only cooked churros when I was annoyed or someone had asked me to. “Let me guess…. Jackson,” she cocked her head. She looked like a Golden Retriever waiting for me to throw a stick.
“He dared to come here and tell me that I can’t go out with Leonard,” I shook my head and took my apron off and hung it next to the oven and stove.
“Yeah, what’s up with Vanilla-Lemon and you?” she took her apron off, too.
“Nothing much. He wants to take me for some drinks I said it would be ok,” I shrugged.
“And Jackson hated the idea,” I nodded. “Fuck him, Marion. God knows I love the guy, he’s a great buddy but you can’t go back to that.”
“I told him something like that and now…,” I looked down.
“Now?” she asked.
“He didn’t come before lunch. What if he really stays away?” I didn’t want him to just disappear.
“He won’t,” said Alexa putting some churros and donut holes in a to-go box.
“You think so?” I asked doing the same splitting everything evenly into two boxes.
“I know so,” she looked at me and smiled. I nodded. What if he didn’t? What if he left me here wondering what could’ve been? Again.
Seventeen
“Can we address the elephant in the room?” I asked.
“That obviously I am the amazing one in this relationship?” asked Jackson as I laughed and shoved his shoulder.
We were in the back of his car at the beach. We’ve been going at it for hours now because once we had sex we couldn’t
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