Upside Down by Liz Gavin Page B

tons of things to talk about but not in front of me. You said you missed your crazy nights together. Damn, you even said you loved him! You told me you had never said that to anybody.”
    “Mark, honey, please, calm down,” I put a hand on his thigh but withdrew it when he recoiled from my touch. It was too soon. “Bear in mind that you heard only one side of the conversation. You don’t know what Dave was saying to me. Plus, you don’t know who he is.”
    “Right now , I have the feeling I don’t know you at all, Carol. And that hurts more than anything else. I thought you respected me. I even thought you liked me.”
    The raw emotions in his beautiful dark green eyes and the intense hurt in his voice got to me. I was beginning to get angry again at his self-doubt and apparent childish behavior but I had to admit I had truly hurt Mark. The correspondent pang in my heart at that realization surprised me a little. I knelt between his legs, put both hands on his thighs and held him firmly, looking straight into his eyes.
    “Don’t say such things, Mark. I respect and like you. You know me better than most people. Damn, you know I need stuff before I even know it myself. The little gestures, the little things you do for me show me how much you care. I love these little things and I would never hurt you intentionally. This time, it seems I have done so. Unintentional, as it might have been, your hurt is real and I’m sorry I caused it.”
    I risk ed moving my hands up, towards his chest and my body closer to his. Mark didn’t say a word but didn’t stop my gesture, either. I crossed my arms behind his neck and stared at him, gauging his reaction. He didn’t blink and his expression was still dark.
    “I can give you more details, as many as you want, some other time but, for now, I’ll go straight to point of the matter. Dave is my oldest and best friend in the world. We’ve known each other since we were kids. Our families have known each forever. I must warn you, though, he is a gorgeous man. I mean, he is Hollywood plus top model kind of gorgeous. But he’s completely, utterly unavailable to me,” I stopped and smiled hoping to get at least a faint smile back. I still got no reaction from him, so I continued. “He is married.”
    “ So?”
    “To another man, Mark.”
    “Oh.”
    “Exactly.”
    I gave him some time to process the information. I could feel the muscles on his shoulders relaxing under my hands then tensing up again. Only that time he looked embarrassed rather than angry. I held his chin and tipped his head up so that he would meet my eyes again when he let it fall to his chest.
    “Hey, don’t be ashamed, sweetie. I understand why you thought I was talking to somebody I had a romantic relationship with because I do love Dave and he does love me. It’s just a different kind of love. Besides, you are right. I told you I had never loved anybody but I meant romantic love, not brotherly love.”
    “Carol, I ’m so sorry I snapped like that. I had no right.”
    “ Hmm, I don’t know about having rights or not but let me see if I can remember all your misdeeds,” I sat back on my heels to count his actions in my fingers, speaking slowly to emphasize his bad behavior. “You were pissed off at me; you shouted at me; you demanded things from me; you almost broke my plates throwing them in the sink; you said I don’t respect you - shall I continue, my pet?”
    He look ed crestfallen and a little shaken.
    “I’m in trouble here, aren’t I?”
    “Well, ordinarily, I’d be angry at any person for much less than that.”
    “ I know! Forgive me, Carol, please. Don’t be angry at me. I couldn’t bear it,” he sounded downright terrified.
    He knew he had stepped out of line and I realized I would have to set things straight between us. Raising an eyebrow and making a show of looking him from head to toe as if he were a rare specimen, I spoke in a colder, more distant tone of voice, therefore