Valentine's Day Is Killing Me by Mary Janice Davidson, Susanna Carr, Leslie Esdaile Page A

paper hearts give me the shakes like a junkie. What’s the plan?”
    “I almost broke down last night for some fool, and y’all know I’m studying for the bar!” Jacqui shook her head. “Don’t they have some drug that can just kill libido? I need a ’script, bad. What is wrong with modern medicine?”
    “I might turn to cybersex before the night’s out,” Freddie said, wiping her brow. “But I’m trying to ignore my sister Brenda’s advice—she’s outta her danged mind.”
    “Stay strong,” Tina said, giggling as she raised a power-to-the-people fist.
    “All right,” Jocelyn said, putting her hands flat on the table. “We do a Pollyanna. Get each other gifts, since women are better at picking out stuff than men, any ole way. Why sit up in our apartments waiting on some guy that isn’t going to do that for us?”
    “That’s deep,” Jacqui said, nodding her agreement with the others. “Go, Joce.”
    “Right,” Jocelyn said, gaining confidence as the plan formed in her mind. “All the clubs and places to go out will be catering to the Valentine’s Day groove, which will only be depressing. Couples, lovers, yada, yada, yada. The music alone will make us weak and all teary-eyed. Then, just watching folks all hugged up will bring on very dark thoughts of self-annihilation. So, we should make our own party.”
    “Like invite people? But who?” Freddie’s expression was incredulous. “Everybody will be otherwise hooked up, so who will come to a party—”
    “Us, girl,” Jocelyn said with a weary sigh. “Look. They have these visit-your-house spa-party places that will come out to your home and beat your hair, give you a facial, do your toes and nails, liquefy you with a massage…that’s what we’re missing. Pampering. We must honor the goddess within. So, why not throw a pamper party, just for us?”
    Astonished glances passed around the table. Mouths opened. Jaws went slack. Jocelyn had them, she knew it, and pressed on.
    “We need it. We deserve it. And just because some guy doesn’t have enough forethought, caring, or is too cheap to do that, hey. Why wait? Why deny ourselves sensual pleasures? We can get a lovely gourmet food platter from Fresh Grocer, where Tina works. We can use Freddie’s eighteen-percent employee discount at the mall, to keep gifts for each other to a reasonable level. Jacqui could research on the fly at the library and find a great in-home spa service for us that has solid references. Since I’m on the telephones all day, I can coordinate it all and let my fingers do the walking…and tomorrow night, while every other woman in the city is either home alone weeping, with some man that ain’t actin’ right, or is on her cell phone, blowing up his, hollering into voice mail for her man to show up—we’ll be sitting back, drinking wine, laughing, getting done by pampering professionals, eating good food, relaxing, kicking back, listening to great music, and opening presents.”
    “Damn, girl,” Jacqui said in a reverent whisper. “That is scary brilliant.”
    “I’ma get snot-slinging toasted, right in the middle of the work week,” Freddie declared. “I’m gonna come to work the next day, moving slow, dark shades on, and give the girls on the job something to really talk about! But I’ll never divulge the trade secret of Miz Jocelyn’s ancient Chinese secrets of Zen.” She bowed slightly with both hands pressed together, giggling. “Master teacher, I shall grasp the stone of knowledge from your hand, and purge every errant male being from my black book, returning revived and renewed and pampered.”
    Jocelyn laughed and bowed toward Freddie. “And you will also receive the red rose of truth, grasshopper.”
    “You’re gonna buy roses for us, too?” Tina squealed. “Yo go, gurl! Sho’ you right!”
    “We shall laugh,” Jocelyn said in a phony Asian accent. “We shall dance! We shall dog every no-good male that has ever walked the planet. We