vampires of san francisco 08 - merry sucking christmas by Jessica McBrayer Page A

hands up and down his rotund chest and plays with his tie.
    “I don’t know, pooksie. Does he have to come with us?”
    “What’s the matter? Of course he has to come with us. We don’t have any idea where we are going up here. I want to see my boy, Ce-Ce. Not going to get your way on this. Now, that cheese looks good.” He rubs his hands together and dives into the platter that Annie and I have put together. 
    I have to say that I think better of Doxie after hearing him talk to Celine about Diel. He’s a weak man, influenced by the women in his life, but he cares for Diel. I can see Sebastian and Aidan giving him a more respectful look.
    “Have a glass of wine, Doxie. We bought this on our honeymoon in Italy. You can almost taste the sunshine,” Sebastian says as he offers the Demon a glass of the fantastic red wine.
    “That sounds like an enjoyable day,” I say. Poor Diel will have to put up with Celine. Hopefully he will find some kind of redeeming quality in her.
    “I have to be leaving. I want to tuck Samuel in bed. Until tomorrow.” Aidan blinks out and Celine gasps. I guess she hasn’t seen him do that yet.
    “He’s so powerful. Does he ever get tired?” Celine practically purrs. Gross.
    “No, he doesn’t.” I can’t help but glare at her. She feigns concern.
    I will end up killing her, I just know it.

12. Diel
     
    I rub my hand across my face trying to ignore the clingy fake blonde hanging on my father. If her squeaky voice says “pooksie” one more time I’m going to toss her into the Bay. The only thing that makes this day worthwhile is the fact that Dad is completely smitten with the twins. He dotes on them, making Celine jealous. Then she acts like a child. Even though he seems to love his wife, even he is getting tired of her lame attempts to draw attention to herself and away from the kids.
    “Pooksie, let’s take the Duck Tours. It looks like so much fun,” Celine squeaks.
    “I think the twins would have a good time. What do you think, son?”
    “I think they would have a good time. I think we might be tired of them quacking before the day is over. I can always feed the duck call to Hades.”
    My dad laughs and pats me on the back.
    “I’ll go buy us some tickets,” he says.
    Celine drops her sweet, gag-inducing, façade once Dad is out of sight. She pulls out a tube of lipstick and starts applying copious amount to her over-huge lips. She’s a cross between Mick Jaggar and Tammy Fae. It is truly grotesque. I have to look away to keep from gagging. I haul Finn over my shoulder while holding Fiona’s hand and guide them towards the Duck Tour mobile. It’s an amphibian vehicle that tours the city and the Bay. It’s actually a great way to see the most famous parts of San Francisco in a short amount of time.
    “Got the tickets!” Dad shouts with a boyish gleam in his eyes. I think he is more excited than the kids. Finn keeps trying to climb over me to get to the duckmobile. Dad chuckles and takes Finn off my hands for me and we all make our way to the tour.
    The tour guide helps us up and we find seats. We are all given duck calls and told to quack whenever we want. It’s a brilliant marketing ploy. The duck sounds draw all kinds of attention. Everyone tries theirs out and, much to the twins delight, they can make theirs work. I look over at Celine and she keeps trying to work hers. Her hyper-plumped up lips are drooling all over the call, getting her red lipstick everywhere.
    “Mine’s broken,” she whines. She resorts to shaking it up and down to make it work.
    “You’re not doing it right, Ce-Ce. Watch the babies. They have the hang of it.”
    Dad has Finn on his lap and I have Fiona. Finn decides to use his powers to obtain Fiona’s call too. When it appears in Finn’s hand making Fiona wail, Dad chuckles and gives Fiona’s back to her.
    “Chip off the ol’ block, eh, son? He’s a regular treasure hunter already. Is Fiona showing any talents