Vineland by Thomas Pynchon Page B

only missed him that night by not showing up at the Lost Nugget, his usual hangout, having chosen instead a booth way in the back of the Steam Donkey, just off the old Plaza in Vineland, a bar that dated well back into the fog of the last century. Van Meter’d put his head in after a while, and they’d sat becoming slowly awash in Lucky Lager, snuffling over the olden times.
    â€œEducated pussy,” Zoyd sighed, “don’t know why, f’ some reason I must’ve been a easy mark. She was a filmmaker, went to Berkeley, I was working on people’s gutters, she rilly freaked when she found out she was pregnant.”
    It was a long time ago, old as Prairie, who for a while had been a topic of debate. Frenesi was getting free advice both ways. Some told her it was the end of her life as an artist, as a revolutionary, and urged her to get an abortion, not that easy to come by in those days unless you drove south of the border. If you wanted to stay north of it you had to be rich and go through a committee exercise with gynecologists and shrinks. Others pointed out to her what a groovy chance this would be to bring up a child in a politically correct way, though definitions of this varied from reading Trotsky to her at bedtime to including LSD in the formula.
    â€œBut what hurts,” Zoyd went on, “is how innocent I thought she was. Fuckin’ fool. I wanted to wise her up, at the same time protect her from ever knowin’ how shitty things could get. Was I stupid.”
    â€œYou’re blaming yourself for the line of work she got into?”
    â€œFor not seeing too much. For thinkin’ we’d get away with it, thinkin’ we’d beat them all.”
    â€œYep, you really fucked up,” Van Meter having himself a good chuckle. Their friendship over the years was based in part on each pretending to laugh at the other’s hard luck. Zoyd sat there nodding How true, how true. “So worried about Hector you didn’t even know the
other
federal guy was porkin’ your wife till she was long gone! What a trip, man!”
    â€œAppreciate the support ol’ buddy, but I was still happy to be out of Hector’s way back then ’thout gittin’ my ass in too major of a sling.” But he understood that like all suffering Tubeheads he must have really thought, as he and the baby were making their getaway, that that was it, all over, time to go to commercials and clips of next week’s episode. . . . Frenesi might be gone, but there would always be his love for Prairie, burning like a night-light, always nearby, cool and low, but all night long. . . . And Hector, in his actorly literalness and brown-shoe conformity while also being insane, would never trouble his environment again. Damn fool Zoyd. Sent so gaga by those mythical days of high drama that he’d forgotten he and Prairie might actually have to go on living years beyond them.
    All the rest of the day it seemed like he was getting funny looks everywhere he went. The swamper at Redwood Bayou, getting the place ready for lunch, disappeared into the back where the phone was as soon as Zoyd came in the door. The waitresses at Le Bûcheron Affamé gathered over in a corner murmuring, casting him slow over-the-shoulder looks it was hard even for him to take as anything but pitying. “Hi ladies, how’s the warm duck salad today?” But nobody came forth with much more than mentions of ubiquitous though unnamed Hector. Back on the freeway, Zoyd kept a defensive eye out in all directions, no telling where the Tube-maddened Detox escapee might pop up. At his next stop, Humbolaya, amid stomach-nudging aromas from the Special of the Day, tofu à la étouffée, Zoyd hustled use of the office phone to call Doc Deeply on the direct line in to his wing of the Vineland Palace.
    â€œNEVER,” answered the perky female voice on the other end.
    â€œHuh? I didt’n