clear?'
The class nodded.
'Pick up the piece of paper in front of you and turn it over.'
The class did as they were told.
'That is the answer to the first question in the Maths paper you will be set. You have twenty
minutes in which to learn it off by heart.'
At the end of twenty minutes, Peregrine could remember the answer. Throughout the day, the
process continued. Even after dinner it resumed and it was midnight before Peregrine got to bed.
He was wakened at six next morning and required to repeat the answers he had learnt the day
before to a tape recorder.
'That is known as reinforcement,' said the Doctor. 'Today we will learn the answers to the
French questions. Reinforcement will be done tomorrow before breakfast.'
Next day, Peregrine went hungrily into the classroom for geography and was rewarded with steak
at dinner. By the end of the week, only one boy in the class was still incapable of remembering
the answers to all the questions in History, Geography, Maths, Chemistry, Biology and English
Literature.
Dr Hardboldt was undismayed. 'Sit, sir,' he ordered when the boy fell off his chair for the
third time, owing to semi-starvation. The lad managed to get into a sitting position. 'Good dog,'
said the Doctor, producing a packet of Chocdrops. 'Now beg.'
As the boy put up his hands, the Doctor dropped a Chocdrop into his mouth. 'Good. Now then
Parkinson, if you can obey that simple instruction, there's not the slightest doubt you can pass
the exam.'
'But I can't read,' whimpered Parkinson, and evidently tried to wag his tail.
Doctor Hardboldt looked at him grimly. 'Can't read? Stuff and nonsense, sir. Any boy whose
parents can afford to pay my fees must be able to read.'
'But I'm dyslexic, sir.'
The Doctor stiffened. 'So,' he said. 'In that case we'll have to apply for you to take your
O-levels orally. Take this note to my secretary.'
As Parkinson wobbled from the room, the Doctor turned back to the class. 'Is there any other
do...boy here who can't read? I don't want any shilly-shallying. If you can't read, say so, and
we'll have you attended to by the hypnotist.'
But no one in the class needed the attentions of the hypnotist.
The second week was spent writing down verbatim the answers to the questions and in further
reinforcement. Peregrine was woken every so often during the night and interrogated. 'What is the
answer to question four in the History paper?' said the doctor.
Peregrine peered bleary-eyed into the ferocious moustache. 'Gladstone's policy of Home Rule
for Ireland was prevented from becoming law because Chamberlain, formerly the radical Mayor of
Birmingham, split the Liberal party and...'
'Good dog,' said the doctor when he had finished and rewarded him with a Chocdrop.
But it was in the third week that reinforcement became most rigorous. 'A tired mind is a
receptive mind,' the doctor announced on Sunday evening. 'From now on, you will be limited to
four hours sleep in every twenty-four, one hour in every six being allocated for rest. Before you
go to sleep, you will write down the answers to one exam paper and, on being woken, will write
them down again before going on to the next subject. In this way, you will be unable to fail your
O-levels even if you want to.'
After seven more days of conditioning, Peregrine returned to his parents exhausted and with
his brain so stuffed with exam answers that his parents had their own sleep interrupted by an
occasional bark and the sound of Peregrine automatically reciting the doctor's orders. They were
further disturbed by Dr Hardboldt's insistence that Peregrine be prevented from returning to
Groxbourne until after he had sat his exams. 'It is absolutely essential that he isn't exposed to
the confusion of other methods of teaching,' he said. 'Nothing is more damaging to an animal's
learning ability than contradictory stimuli.'
'But Peregrine isn't an animal,' protested Mrs
The class nodded.
'Pick up the piece of paper in front of you and turn it over.'
The class did as they were told.
'That is the answer to the first question in the Maths paper you will be set. You have twenty
minutes in which to learn it off by heart.'
At the end of twenty minutes, Peregrine could remember the answer. Throughout the day, the
process continued. Even after dinner it resumed and it was midnight before Peregrine got to bed.
He was wakened at six next morning and required to repeat the answers he had learnt the day
before to a tape recorder.
'That is known as reinforcement,' said the Doctor. 'Today we will learn the answers to the
French questions. Reinforcement will be done tomorrow before breakfast.'
Next day, Peregrine went hungrily into the classroom for geography and was rewarded with steak
at dinner. By the end of the week, only one boy in the class was still incapable of remembering
the answers to all the questions in History, Geography, Maths, Chemistry, Biology and English
Literature.
Dr Hardboldt was undismayed. 'Sit, sir,' he ordered when the boy fell off his chair for the
third time, owing to semi-starvation. The lad managed to get into a sitting position. 'Good dog,'
said the Doctor, producing a packet of Chocdrops. 'Now beg.'
As the boy put up his hands, the Doctor dropped a Chocdrop into his mouth. 'Good. Now then
Parkinson, if you can obey that simple instruction, there's not the slightest doubt you can pass
the exam.'
'But I can't read,' whimpered Parkinson, and evidently tried to wag his tail.
Doctor Hardboldt looked at him grimly. 'Can't read? Stuff and nonsense, sir. Any boy whose
parents can afford to pay my fees must be able to read.'
'But I'm dyslexic, sir.'
The Doctor stiffened. 'So,' he said. 'In that case we'll have to apply for you to take your
O-levels orally. Take this note to my secretary.'
As Parkinson wobbled from the room, the Doctor turned back to the class. 'Is there any other
do...boy here who can't read? I don't want any shilly-shallying. If you can't read, say so, and
we'll have you attended to by the hypnotist.'
But no one in the class needed the attentions of the hypnotist.
The second week was spent writing down verbatim the answers to the questions and in further
reinforcement. Peregrine was woken every so often during the night and interrogated. 'What is the
answer to question four in the History paper?' said the doctor.
Peregrine peered bleary-eyed into the ferocious moustache. 'Gladstone's policy of Home Rule
for Ireland was prevented from becoming law because Chamberlain, formerly the radical Mayor of
Birmingham, split the Liberal party and...'
'Good dog,' said the doctor when he had finished and rewarded him with a Chocdrop.
But it was in the third week that reinforcement became most rigorous. 'A tired mind is a
receptive mind,' the doctor announced on Sunday evening. 'From now on, you will be limited to
four hours sleep in every twenty-four, one hour in every six being allocated for rest. Before you
go to sleep, you will write down the answers to one exam paper and, on being woken, will write
them down again before going on to the next subject. In this way, you will be unable to fail your
O-levels even if you want to.'
After seven more days of conditioning, Peregrine returned to his parents exhausted and with
his brain so stuffed with exam answers that his parents had their own sleep interrupted by an
occasional bark and the sound of Peregrine automatically reciting the doctor's orders. They were
further disturbed by Dr Hardboldt's insistence that Peregrine be prevented from returning to
Groxbourne until after he had sat his exams. 'It is absolutely essential that he isn't exposed to
the confusion of other methods of teaching,' he said. 'Nothing is more damaging to an animal's
learning ability than contradictory stimuli.'
'But Peregrine isn't an animal,' protested Mrs
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