Wait For Me by Lissa Matthews Page A

seemed they were at an impasse and she said the only thing she could think of to say. “You’re still hard.”
    He smiled immediately and thrust against her. “I am. And you’re still wet, still fluttering every now and again.”
    “Can’t help it.”
    “Neither of us can, baby. You’re mine and I’m yours. Always been that way.”
    “What do we do?” She’d been a girl when he first left, and when it came to him, it seemed she was still a girl. Military wives and girlfriends could handle the deployments and not hearing from their men for months. Mel wasn’t like that all the time. It took her awhile to get to that point, to settle into it. But there was more now, more than the military. There was a job that was just as, if not more dangerous that he was being offered. Some would think her naive, or feel sorry for her for having been in love with him for so long without the promise of forever. She didn’t care. She hated their looks of pity, sure, their sympathy at her tears when she missed him too much, when she was so pissed at him she could scream if only he were in earshot. He wasn’t a saint and never had been. She had no illusions. She didn’t doubt his integrity or his intentions.
    “I want a life with you, Vin. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. How do I get that? How do I get you in my bed every night for the rest of my life? Tell me. Tell me what I have to do, where I have to go and I’ll do it. You’re in my blood and no one and nothing can ever take that away. I know it’s selfish of me to ask you to choose me. I know it’s selfish to want to take you away from the greater good. I won’t apologize for it though. I can’t. I’m greedy. I want you all to myself.” He started to speak in the space left when she paused to take a break, but she rushed the next words out before he could. “I didn’t think beyond where we were when you left. Yes, I knew you were going away and I knew what getting into bed with you meant. I didn’t know what I’d signed on for, though, not really. I didn’t know what life would be like with months between hearing from you or seeing you. I do now and protecting the country or not, I want you with me. I’m proud of you. I am, I swear. I’m... It’s fear talking. I know it is. It’s fear and need. I...”
    It was incredibly selfish of her to take him away from the importance of what he did, of the sacrifices he made. She was torn between loving him and wanting to keep him, and knowing she really couldn’t. There was no way she’d be able to utter those words, not without her voice cracking, breaking. He did what he did because he believed in it. If she really believed in him, could she really do that to him? Make him leave it behind? Make him stop? Make him choose?
    If she did, what did that say about her?
    “You may not like me day in and day out anymore,” he said softly.
    Well, that wasn’t what she was expecting him to say. She’d expected some sort of platitude, or an I don’t know, but not what actually came out of his mouth. She shrugged. “You may not like me day in and day out anymore either.”
    “I can be a total bastard just hanging around, nothing to do.”
    “I can be a total bitch when I don’t get my way.”
    He grunted his agreement. “Yes, I’m sure you can but I know how to get you back in line.”
    “And I know how to ease your restlessness.” At least she hoped she did. She really wasn’t all that sure, but she had to try, had to plead her case. How did she compete with the adrenaline rush he must live off of in order to do the jobs he had to do?
    “What are you thinking?” he asked softly with a kiss to her lips. He let go of her wrists, and with a twinge of discomfort she moved them up and around his neck.
    “I miss you when you’re gone. I know you miss me, too. We’ve been doing this for long enough that I know deep down inside you belong to me and nothing will ever change that. But, I—”
    “What are you